Trivial things you don't understand/mildly annoy you

[Honkytonk]

The snooty bitches on the phones aswell get on my tits.

'Is it urgent?'

Depends what you mean love, i always say it is whatever, otherwise id be waiting 3 weeks or so.

Lets pre book illness in advance!

They're always so fucking nosy too. It's that whole 'I just want to book an appointment, I don't want to tell this random person on the phone my medical problems but if I don't they'll doubtless look at my notes anyway just in case it's something they can gossip about later'.

My dick warts are none of your business nosy middle aged woman.

[Talk Talk]

They're always so fucking nosy too. It's that whole 'I just want to book an appointment, I don't want to tell this random person on the phone my medical problems but if I don't they'll doubtless look at my notes anyway just in case it's something they can gossip about later'.

When I came off my motorbike and broke my collarbone and ribs a few years back I turned up at A&E at GWH. Bearing in mind that I haven't been to see a GP in twenty years and probably haven't been to a hospital since I had my appendix out aged 10 the priority seemed to be investigating my lifestyle rather than doing something about my busted bones.

"I see that you live in Stratton, is this your address?"

"Erm, no, I haven't lived there for twenty years" (great this joined up NHS/government computer system)

"How many units of alcohol do you drink a week?"

"Eh?"

Next time I am going to answer: "I don't drink (I do), I don't smoke (I do), I exercise every few days (I do), I eat a balanced diet (I do), my inside leg measurement is 32" (it is), my blood group is O negative (it is) and I have sex about twice a week on average (I do). Is there any other personal information that you would like that is none of your fucking business?"

[DMR]

Shut up is Alan getting 2 spins a week

[Ginginho]

They may not be consensual though

[kerry red]

Fists dont count

[Samdy Gray]

Shut up is Alan getting 2 spins a week

Do I sense jealousy?

[DMR]

It's about 2 more spins a week than I've had recently. Need to stop being optimistic and go back to slinging one up any old monstrosity.

[4D]

Why not get a girlfriend Dave?

[Honkytonk]

It's about 2 more spins a week than I've had recently. Need to stop being optimistic and go back to slinging one up any old monstrosity.

I think you should, the more spunkshirt style stories we get the better.

[Talk Talk]

Why not get a girlfriend Dave?

Now there's a clue  

Dave, if you have a couple of spare hours then give these a try. Yes, it is American (annoying). Yes, the presenter is a bible basher (substitute "evolution" when he says "god"). Yes, wedlock is the right way apparently (substitute "male/female relationship" when he says "marriage"). However, it is pretty good and accurate psychology and quite funny as well. Particularly the bit about The Nothing Box  

[Only Me]

Fists dont count

[Bewster]

My local surgery has an online booking/repeat prescription system which is really good and the receptionists always fit you in if you need to seen urgently. They also have special allotted appointments for kids which usually means you can get he kids in within an hour or two.

I do accept that this is not the norm though.

[Peter Venkman]

My local surgery has an online booking/repeat prescription system which is really good and the receptionists always fit you in if you need to seen urgently. They also have special allotted appointments for kids which usually means you can get he kids in within an hour or two.

I do accept that this is not the norm though.

Thats normal here too, never had a problem seeing a doc on the same day I phone up.

[Samdy Gray]

The problem in Swindon stems from the rapid expansion of the town but failure to build new surgeries. Just like the root of most of the other problems in the town.

It drives me mad the hassle it takes to arrange an appointment, you almost have to know in advance when you're going to be ill. Unless you fancy constantly redialling from 8am until you get through, at which point most of the appointments for the day are already gone.

I wouldn't mind so much if the doctor actually gave a fuck once you finally get to see them, but the one I often see is the most miserable bitch ever with zero personality and sent me packing with a handout she printed from the NHS website. You'd think they'd care a bit more considering the handsome salary they're paid.

[Flashheart]

Top tip for ladies:

If you would like to know is happening in a movie then asking the gentleman you are watching the movie with is often not the best option. You'd find it much more productive if you STOP FUCKING TALKING AND JUST WATCH THE FUCKING THING!