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Author Topic: Friday Joke Thread  (Read 244743 times)
McGurk's Missus
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« Reply #795 on: Wednesday, December 23, 2020, 18:17:40 »

How do you make a pirate furious?

Take P out of him.

What do you call a bunch of vermin stuck on an island only 3.14 paces away from the hidden treasure? 

Pi-rats of the Caribbean...
Woot Jumping
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'Incessant Nonsense'

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'I'm gonna tell you the secret.
There's a threat, you end it and you don't feel ashamed about enjoying it.
You smell the gunpowder and you see the blood, you know what that means?
It means you're alive. You've won.
You take the heads so that you don't ever forget.'
Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.

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« Reply #796 on: Thursday, December 24, 2020, 07:14:56 »

What do you call a bunch of vermin stuck on an island only 3.14 paces away from the hidden treasure?  

Pi-rats of the Caribbean...
Woot Jumping

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can buy two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.'

Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton

We travel over England
And one day Europe too

Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.

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« Reply #797 on: Thursday, December 24, 2020, 07:17:37 »

And as its Christmas Eve....

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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton

We travel over England
And one day Europe too

Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
McGurk's Missus
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« Reply #798 on: Friday, December 25, 2020, 02:25:17 »

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can buy two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.'

Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.


Ahh excellent...consequently...In Jamaica every 1 in 3 people wear hats but only 1 in 6 do so in St.Kitts & Nevis. Over in T&T it is 1 in 4 hats.

As statistics show, these are the most accurate figures for the Per Hats of the Caribbean.
« Last Edit: Monday, December 28, 2020, 19:56:42 by bamboonoshop » Logged


'Incessant Nonsense'

______________________________________________________________

'I'm gonna tell you the secret.
There's a threat, you end it and you don't feel ashamed about enjoying it.
You smell the gunpowder and you see the blood, you know what that means?
It means you're alive. You've won.
You take the heads so that you don't ever forget.'
McGurk's Missus
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« Reply #799 on: Monday, December 28, 2020, 19:58:44 »

Some cunt stole my favourite block of cheese the other day.
I have no idea it is but it really fucking grates on me.
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'Incessant Nonsense'

______________________________________________________________

'I'm gonna tell you the secret.
There's a threat, you end it and you don't feel ashamed about enjoying it.
You smell the gunpowder and you see the blood, you know what that means?
It means you're alive. You've won.
You take the heads so that you don't ever forget.'
McGurk's Missus
Has An Unhealthy Obsession With Bleach

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Posts: 10667


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« Reply #800 on: Saturday, June 12, 2021, 22:41:48 »

Had my covid vaccine the other day...

Got home, chilled out, booted the dial-up for about 15mins and bought 87 copies of Windows Me...
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'Incessant Nonsense'

______________________________________________________________

'I'm gonna tell you the secret.
There's a threat, you end it and you don't feel ashamed about enjoying it.
You smell the gunpowder and you see the blood, you know what that means?
It means you're alive. You've won.
You take the heads so that you don't ever forget.'
Ginginho

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« Reply #801 on: Sunday, June 13, 2021, 05:39:14 »

I opened my wardrobe this morning and was greeted by a lion. I ask him what he was doing there.
"Narnia Business" he responded.
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McGurk's Missus
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« Reply #802 on: Friday, April 8, 2022, 15:01:56 »

I always knew Jesus was fantastic at puzzles. Especially the Times Crossword...

He's just nailed 2 across.
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'Incessant Nonsense'

______________________________________________________________

'I'm gonna tell you the secret.
There's a threat, you end it and you don't feel ashamed about enjoying it.
You smell the gunpowder and you see the blood, you know what that means?
It means you're alive. You've won.
You take the heads so that you don't ever forget.'
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