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Author Topic: Trivial things you don't understand/mildly annoy you  (Read 5036156 times)
horlock07

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« Reply #26895 on: Friday, November 17, 2017, 18:12:34 »

Having said that, the Scrooge like MD of a previous employer used to deny heating in the toilets to encourage workers to spend minimum time in the traps.


Throughout my career have always tried, where possible, to have a dump on company time, less possible these days with working at home sadly.
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4D
Or not 4D that is the question

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« Reply #26896 on: Friday, November 17, 2017, 18:37:25 »

I used to do the same Horlock, at my old place, got put off when some lorry driver went into the cubicle right next to mine and dropped his guts like an explosion. Melted the hairs off my nose Puke
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Ginginho

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« Reply #26897 on: Friday, November 17, 2017, 20:20:43 »

We have sensor lights in our toilets at work, so if you spend longer than 5 minutes in the cubicle the lights will go out, meaning I then have to stand up and wave my arms about (mid shit) to get the lights back on.
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Batch
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« Reply #26898 on: Friday, November 17, 2017, 20:26:24 »

Same, but the sensor doesn't reach the cubicles. so you have to open the door and hope noone comes in.
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horlock07

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« Reply #26899 on: Friday, November 17, 2017, 20:39:32 »

Take a head torch in with you.
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4D
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« Reply #26900 on: Friday, November 17, 2017, 22:39:15 »

I know I've mentioned it on here before but I got stuck in the crapper in the south stand  Smiley the bolt would not budge, even with my shoes involved. I couldn't climb over as there was less than a foot gap at the top. I called for help  Embarrassed some older fella put his boot in and with me wiggling the bolt it opened. Yes, I felt daft.
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Exiled Bob

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« Reply #26901 on: Saturday, November 18, 2017, 09:19:04 »

Throughout my career have always tried, where possible, to have a dump on company time, less possible these days with working at home sadly.
During overtime, preferably, when it becomes time and a turd.
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark

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« Reply #26902 on: Saturday, November 18, 2017, 17:30:46 »

From a running blog I occasionally browse on healthy food swaps:
 "Instead of those sumptuous squares of dark chocolate guzzled late at night, chop raw beetroot into cubes and nibble on those instead. You’ll hardly notice the difference."

Yeah, sure, if you've had your taste buds surgically removed. Fuck off

Then there's

"Rather than scoffing a bag of crisps, go for some delicious, crunchy iceberg lettuce. Same effect, 0.01 per cent of the calories (approximately)."

Fuck off some more, and a bit further again.

And finally, the piece de resistance:

"Swap your pint of beer for a nice cold glass of water. Squeeze some lemon juice into it for extra indulgence. You're a runner so you're probably high on life and won't notice the lack of alcohol content."

I fucking will. High on life? Fuck the fuck right off. Fucking high on life, my arse
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swindonmaniac

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« Reply #26903 on: Saturday, November 18, 2017, 19:48:09 »

From a running blog I occasionally browse on healthy food swaps:
 "Instead of those sumptuous squares of dark chocolate guzzled late at night, chop raw beetroot into cubes and nibble on those instead. You’ll hardly notice the difference."

Yeah, sure, if you've had your taste buds surgically removed. Fuck off

Then there's

"Rather than scoffing a bag of crisps, go for some delicious, crunchy iceberg lettuce. Same effect, 0.01 per cent of the calories (approximately)."

Fuck off some more, and a bit further again.       

And finally, the piece de resistance:

"Swap your pint of beer for a nice cold glass of water. Squeeze some lemon juice into it for extra indulgence. You're a runner so you're probably high on life and won't notice the lack of alcohol content."

I fucking will. High on life? Fuck the fuck right off. Fucking high on life, my arse

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Red Frog
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« Reply #26904 on: Saturday, November 18, 2017, 21:35:46 »

From a running blog I occasionally browse on healthy food swaps:
 "Instead of those sumptuous squares of dark chocolate guzzled late at night, chop raw beetroot into cubes and nibble on those instead. You’ll hardly notice the difference."

Yeah, sure, if you've had your taste buds surgically removed. Fuck off

Then there's

"Rather than scoffing a bag of crisps, go for some delicious, crunchy iceberg lettuce. Same effect, 0.01 per cent of the calories (approximately)."

Fuck off some more, and a bit further again.

And finally, the piece de resistance:

"Swap your pint of beer for a nice cold glass of water. Squeeze some lemon juice into it for extra indulgence. You're a runner so you're probably high on life and won't notice the lack of alcohol content."

I fucking will. High on life? Fuck the fuck right off. Fucking high on life, my arse


Quite right. You really need to get off that forum. I run to drink guiltlessly.
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sûr à propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
pauld
Aaron Aardvark

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« Reply #26905 on: Saturday, November 18, 2017, 21:58:25 »

tbf, I suspect I may have whooshed myself in this instance. But some of these things are so fucking po-faced, it's difficult to tell.
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« Reply #26906 on: Sunday, November 19, 2017, 11:05:37 »

Currys PC world.
Item to be delivered to store.
DPD marked it as "unable to deliver. Nobody in"
Curry's won't refund or replace until DPD declare parcel lost (in a few days)

It was a replacement for a phone I smashed. CPW have now reduced the price too. I could literally walk in and buy one if they'd give me a refund. They have a CPW in Curry's FFS. Its the same company.
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woolster

« Reply #26907 on: Sunday, November 19, 2017, 11:49:29 »

Black Friday, what a load of bollocks, goes on for about 2 weeks now and the price reductions are a joke, save £10 on a £300 item, stop this nonsense Crash
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Bob's Orange
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« Reply #26908 on: Sunday, November 19, 2017, 13:27:23 »

Black Friday, what a load of bollocks, goes on for about 2 weeks now and the price reductions are a joke, save £10 on a £300 item, stop this nonsense Crash

I’m inclined to agree however we got 15% discount on our new boiler and installation quote which is not an insignificant amount due to Black Friday so can’t grumble too much about it!
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Bewster

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« Reply #26909 on: Sunday, November 19, 2017, 16:59:58 »

Black Friday is another wanky yank import making stupid people buy things they don't need and can't afford.

There are better sales during the rest of the year
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