Thetownend.com

saw david james at the services in reading yesterday.and in the last couple of months have seen bob wilson at a cafe in london,and dainton from dirty sanchez at paddington station.

what random encounters have you other townender forum lot had recently?

I queued next to the bloke who plays the prime minister in little britain at bath train station t'other day - dunno his name though.

I also had a piss next to Jarvis Cocker at Tribal gathering, that was in 1993 though - and he most certainly looked sorted for E's and Whizz!

I sat next to Ronnie O'Sullivan for breakfast once. That's about it.

Stelios got on the same Easyjet flight as me once.

I saw Mark Hughes at Legoland once.

And I saw Frankie from Hollyoaks at as I queued for Air at Alton Towers.

Mr Motivator - Twat
Lenny Henry - Gent
The Wonderstuff - Drunk
Primal Scream - Very drunk
Ocean Colour Scene - At a lock in during the Lewis title fight and they did an impromptu acoustic set, which was ace.  Top blokes.
East 17
Ronan Keating and the gay one from Boyzone
Howard from Take That – DJ’ing nice fella
Mollie Sugden – Dour
Andy Kershaw – Stale booze
Robert Plant – Gent
Friar tuck from Robin Hood – Gent
Some model bird that appeared on Loaded – Boned but forget her name.
Ray Stubbs – Fit daughter
Curly from Crrie – Golfing (stank of booze)

Plus an odd assortment of footballers and managers and various Z list celebrities who I’ve now forgotten.  I seem to have ran into an odd assortment throughout the years for no other reason than being drunk and in the right or wrong place at the time.

Mex wins this comp every time though!

Philip Schofield had a piss next to me once....  :o

I see Frank most weeks actually, his kid Frankie skis up at the dome.  He always says hello, but I'll tell you what Frank Jnr has got a bloody arm on him too - he can launch a snowball like nobody else I know - he can only be 12 or 13 tops.

just remembered, i saw gazza out on the lash with john muncur at the shaw ridge tavern around 92-93.

Lemarr
Jacinta Stapleton (used to be amy in neighbours years ago)
Ian Botham
Jasper Carrot
Nigel Mansell
Clive Mantle (tall bloke from casualty)
Monty Panesar
Richard Branson
Ally McCoist
Steve Ryder
Colin Jackson
Graeme Le Saux
Austin Healy
Johnny Briggs (Mike Baldwin from Corrie)
Zara Phillips
Sharon Davies

I once bumped into that blonde women off of birds of a feather, also carried a bag for lady victoria at teh airport, my word she was stunning, I had just had my car cleaned and was in a suit, she looked at me and gave me a look of I would eat you and spit you out in one go!

I slept with Miss World when I was youth (Miss India)!!!!

Joe Absolom bought me a pint at Paddington station

Oh yeah! I bought Holly Wlloughby a drink once. She's hot.

I saw Len Fairclough  from 1980s Corrie walk through town once

thats got to be a winner 8)

A mate of mine walked out of an underground station somewhere in London and saw Alexa Chung of Popworld fame - he didn't have owt to for half an hour so he just decided to stalk her for a bit.  He's a funny lad that one.

Nick Moran and Tim Lovejoy in Goldiggers YEARS ago they took me and my friends into the VIP bar and brought us Tia Maria and cokes! classy!

Ive seen the Prime minister off little Britain in Bath before too!

Stuart Pearce went swimming where I used to lifeguard!

My sister has loads! she waxes Zara Phillips minnie and does Camillas pedicures when they are staying in Tetbury! and she also did the wedding makeup for Jethros daughter (who works as Gwenth Paltros PA) when she married Andrew Lincoln (from teachers/loveactually) and Apple was the flower girl!!

I once sent a picture of Magic the cockateel that I had drawn into wackaday and Timmy Mallett showed it if that counts??

I did lots of drawings when I was little and they never showed any of mine  :(

was he on his way to Milton Rd Baths ??

 :wink:

I met Louise Nurding while as a workie at FHm, she was damn hot - I was then introduced as the tea boy .

Other than that

pissed next to steve ogrizovic
john simm
frank gallagher from shameless, and the dirty bird from behind the bar (fit)
dougie donelly on a boat party (bbc golf commentator)
ant and dec at my mate's wedding

James Blunt On a flight to NY, and i barged into Paul Burrell when he tried to jump the queue at baggage reclaim!

I hope you smacked the cunt Foggy

That's funny cos I heard Dave M Russell lost his virginity to the female drummer from Hanson a couple of years ago!!

oh yeah andrew lincoln, good one jamiesfuturewife - he was a legend. I bought him a pint at bristol airport once, on the way to dublin for new year.

I also beat alan warriner little, a duff darts player, in a  game of doubles (501).

I hope you smacked the cunt Foggy.

I saw Courtney Love walking into a hotel just round the corner from me a few weeks ago but it was hardly an encounter.

Oh and Neil Ruddock (it was the day he signed for us so he was classed as a celebrity then, rather than a money-grabbing overweight AIDS infected knobjockey)

That's about it though! Apparantly I served somebody famous when i worked in WHSmith...can't remember their name and didn't recognise them but it's somebody everybody's heard of!  :|

Oh yeah Darren Gough when I was working in 'spoons in MK - he's fooking huge!

Oh yeah Darren Gough when I was working in 'spoons in MK - he's fooking huge!

Sarah Lancashire in the BA Executive Club Lounge at Gatwick Airport
Was chatting to John (Selwyn) Gummer (Ex Conservative Party Minister under Thatcher and Major IIRC) in the queue for immigration at Atlanta Airport - which made me feel better that ex government ministers also have to queue up behind a load of mexicans as well  :mrgreen:

Thats about it...

I'd have spunked on her on the sly

He was alright to be honest, didnt play the big "i am" and spent a long time talking to me and my other half. Fucking annoying voice though.

I saw Andy Gray at a George M concert and Sussex reckons we saw Alan Pardew on Brighton Pier

Seriously wanted to Fred, He is only small so when he came into contact with little old me he "moved" a fair old distance, he is one slimey little cunt.

i cant win this one i meet them delibratley

Whos podged someone famous then? come on I want some proper gossip

come on doesnt matter if its Dean Gaffney or someone equally Z list!

Shook Henry Cooper's hand when I was about 10, hands the size of a bunch of bananas!
Ian Hislop - twat
Brian Cant - great bloke
Brian Glover (decd) - limp handshake but nice bloke
Billie Piper - small and sweet (she was 15 at the time though)
Isla St Claire - stuck up bint
Matthew Kelly - huge but feminine
Timmy Mallett - got pissy when I refused to shake his hand!
Gary Glitter - actually a nice bloke but tiny and you could spot his wig a mile off!
Chris Barry - a bit stuck up
Craig Charles - no comment
Jerry Dammers - toothless but affable
Buster Bloodvessel - got on like a house on fire swapped mobile numbers and is a great bloke
A few others as well but cant remember off the top of my head.

me. one you already know about but i knocked one out over alison moyets tits a few years ago :D

Thumbs up for Len Fairclough !

I know its a bit sick but I quite fancy Alison Moyet  :oops:  :D

Recently saw Trevor McDonald at an Arsenal game ...

Got a kiss (on the cheek) from Billie Piper years ago in Mission in her early days of fame :mrgreen: ( a friend of hers was a friend of a friend of mine in case you were wondering)

often see Melinda down the town at nights too .. even tho im sure shes moved away from the area

OH and nearly forgot ... saw Derren Brown recording for a show in the shops at Cardiff when I was down there for a conference one day

loads of footballers.
Moby @ heathrow airport - veggie dwarf freak
Jordan - ugly dwarf freak
Jodie Marsh - how is she considered attractive? have you seen her nose?
Billie piper - looks like a hamster
Zoe Balls grandparents
Lots of tennis players. Anna Kournikova was really nice :beers:
More footballers

chanting peter thorne songs with pritchard from dirty sanchez at five in the morning on a beach in newquay a couple of years back

I was in my local with Ant and Dec.

I served Harry Enfield when i worked in WH Smith years ago.

I have met Clarkson loads of times.

The bird off Harry Potter, Emma Watson. She is going out with a lad from Chipping Norton and was in the pub one night.

David Cameron has been to my house.

the thespian legend that is richard briers, bumped into him at our village fete a few years ago.

that's it i think.

i've met cameron but he blatantly doesn't count. he was a cunt too, i was fifteen and disliked him

Top bloke i thought.

Visited my gran and got her a stairlift put in.

I once met Tony Blair at my old company

and ive hung out the back of ninja from the go team.

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Well, I was mascot for Swindon years ago, and got to meet all the players (Calderwood, Shearer, Dave 'The Beard' Mitchell), Glenn Hoddle who was manager at the time, and David James, before he was considered good (he was playing for Watford) and he had outrageous hair.

Seen Davina McCall filming StreetMate in Brighton, her nose was bigger than it looks.

Met Patrick Kluivert in his nightclub in Barcelona. I was rather drunk at the time, but he didn't seem to mind. I told him how much of a joke it was that he wasn't in the Dutch team at the time.

Eaten in the same restarant as loads of Swansea playres, including fat boy Trundle and Fallon.

Saw cack-handed Jeremy Beadle at Luton Airport.

Alas, I have never knocked one out on any famous person tats.

I met Sven when he visited our Head Office. Forgot that one.

Cesney Hawkes at my end of year ball first year of uni, he was the headline act.  I later bumped into him at the bumper cars where a girl I knew was trying to get into his pants - I shook his hand and told him he was supprisingly OK - the conversation died around that point...

Oh yes, I had sex with a Princess when i was younger........burnt my balls on the exhaust pipe! BOOM BOOM!

  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  Half the people on here won't get that

Oh I forgot - the legend that is Dick King Smith!!! I was about 5 I think  :D

And me and my Dad had a chat with Scott Taylor at Walsall once but i guess that's hardly a coincidental occurence since Blackpool were playing....He was a nice bloke and more than happy to have a chat

my parents are good friends with his daughter, i've met him a fair few times.

top bloke.

I do.

Cos i'm a car nerd  :D

I took a producer for Sting when I was a PC in Hampstead - told him that I would reveal his real age and he blanched.

Took a slide oin the snow outside Michael Foots house one crisp Sunday morning as he collected his milk - sour puss looked disapproving.

Reported an accident outside the King Willy IV pub for Bernie Winters (only for the oldies amongst you)

Reported a burglary at Ridley Scotts place.

Told John Conteh that he was a pissed up has-been and then ran.

is bernie winters still alive?

No Arriba hes been dead over 15 years I think, about 90 or 91, cos it was the same year I got married or had my first son, one or the other, dunno why it reminds me of that  though but it just does :?

I delivered floor tiles to Paul Merson, Alan Shearer and Leeroy from the Prodigy's houses.

is this police talk? i don't understand

so did schnorbitz outlive bernie?

Arriba - 1984 or so - when I had hair - about 6 stones ago!

When on holiday in London? I'm sure that was longer than 2 years ago, the Dave's holiday romance thread was the best ever.

OK it was a HORTI - any more clued up?  Produce a licence, insurance and MOT - he was speeding across Waterloo Bridge

haha quality. i'd ask his real age but no doubt you're sworn to secrecy  :shhh

Bernie Winters died on May 4, 1991, at age 58, from stomach cancer.

Don't know about Schnorbitz though, I presume hes long gone as well.

Still bound by the Offical Secrets Act - but buy me a pint and I will reveal all - who's gay, who isn't, who can't make their mind up.

I forgot that my mate used to play for Bath City when Bodin and Chalky were there. I went to his wedding and they were both there. I was very pissed and remember being on my knees saying "i'm not worthy..."  :oops:

They include that in insurance documents nowadays? WOW!

Bumped into Russ Burden url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/chef_biogs/a.shtml#ross_burden](Tv Chef)[/url] in a pub in Stoke Newington. He's very small and much fatter than he looks on tv. His build kind of reminded me of a meat ball.

Spent the night getting bollocksed with Neil Morrisey in Cairns. He's a bit of a self-righteous cock. We had a mouthy as fuck mate from Walthamstow, who just argued with him all night. It was funny though because Morrisey (Neil as i call him) was shitter than most women at arguing and resorted to repeatedly telling my mate he was wrong, talking over him, or ignoring whatever he said, then repeating his last point again only louder.

Met Frank Lampard in Swindon Poo Na Na, along with the very sexy Lisa Rogers. Think I've told the story about how Mr Invincibile was watched having a bit of fun with her over the bar 'after hours'!

Oh and my sister used to be James Alexandrou's Girlfriend years ago when he first started in Eastenders. Look the name up if you care, i can't remember his character's name.

Another i forgot about. I served Jules Holland when i was about 16 and woirking in an Esso garage. He bought a Fruits of The Forest Solero. Nice.

Martin Fowler. Your sister's name isn't Sonia is it?

Love juice straight from the heart..

:D

Ever noticed how she looks like your face in the back of a spoon or a koala with tits?  :?

shared a taxi with him, he lives near me! Nearly poked Noel Edmonds in the eye outside of Harrods! 8)

 :o  :o  :o

My mum reckons she sees Clive Mantle in Sainsbury's in 'nam fairly frequently. She fancies him, so I reckon he has a stalker  :mrgreen: Lives in Box (the village, before anyone takes that further) I think.

Cleaned Jeremy Clarksons windows (Cunt)
Cleaned Ronnie Barkers windows (Nice bloke)
David Cameron
Philip Schofield (Normal gimpy self)
Alan Shearer, Tim Flowers, Jeff Kenna, Chris Sutton and Ian Pearce at Sea world in Florida  8)
Played golf with Gordon Strachan (ginger tosser)
Frank Burrows on the same plane to florida

I've seen Pete Doherty loads of times recently now he's moved to Marlborough.

He did an impromptu 'gig' in the Sun a couple of weeks ago, brilliant, he was suprisingly alright as well (I thought I'd not be able to resisit chinning him but he's a obviously a proper lad- fair play)

Was he smacked up Dave?

Don't know, don't think so. I had had about 12 Guinnesses by then.

(question, is the plural for guinness, guinnesses or guinni?)

I saw him in Lloyds bank in Chippenham years ago. Very tall.

Guinnesses i believe.
I knew that B in english would get some use.  8)

Who is Clive Mantle?

Kate Moss in Lechlade Post Office (encountered not podged, sadly)
edit: if you're going to use a comma put it in the right place!

this dude

http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u294/tans2007/clive203_203x152.jpg

Wasn't he in Holby City?

yes and casualty

Ah, I'd question his status as a celebrity  :D

I'm sure there was a C Mantle who was the club pro at Erlestoke golf club when I was little - does the good doctor play golf?

He's a 'celebrity', so I'd expect so. Loads of spare time and all that.... :D

Doubt its the same fella though.

havent a clue mate.

fucking hell ive got to start playing golf again reckon, havent played for a couple of years, used to play off 14  :?

What about the other 17 holes???

theres only one hole on a golf course - the 19th  :beers:

Its the only hole I'm any good at..... :mrgreen:

I did manage to roll a golf cart this year. Spilt me fucking beer though....

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Me and a mate once bumped into Steve Davis at a village fete once.
We were both pissed and when Steve Davis asked my mate if he was having a good time, he replied, "Half past four. Haven't you got a fucking watch?"
He thought Steve Davis had asked for the time! How I laughed! Comedy gold.................

Met Tuffers in the middle of fucking nowhere (Norfolk), a few weeks back. He was having a crafty fag out front of the hotel.

I also unexpectedly met Blackcurrant/McLovin less than an hour later. That was a crazy night :)

Nice edit cheeky!  :D

I didn't meet them but I've spoken on the telephone with Jade Goody, Graham Hick (some cricket chap), David Duke, and Harriet Wheeler (she was in an indie band called The Sundays). I've also spoken with a chap called Albert Shite, who isn't famous, but certainly should be.

What did you and Miss Goody discuss?

I sold some lovely young arab chap loads of Nitrogen based fertiliser. I remember seeing pictures of him on the news just quite a lot after the London bomb attacks.

Surrealist poetry.

Interesting Spacey.

One question, would you?

I would. Would also like a go on that bird in the Iceland adverts.

 :o

Kerry Katona? Yeah I would.

Oh, as well as Tuffers, i got drunk with Keith Allen on New Years Eve 2002 at my local. He bought everyone in the place a double whisky at midnight. What a hero 8)

Good wedding that was, Village... i sucked at every casino game going though!

Pretty unexciting encounters include Frank Bruno when he randomly turned up at New College and Darren Anderton in a cafe in London Docklands a few years back. Used to always see that cunt James Beattie back in the day when I went out.

Oh and when Grandmaster Flash was at Brunel got right down the front and my mate decided to randomly grab him. That was strange.

And I met Lee Dixon in my mates house in Southampton. That was one weird night.

Sipping champagne with Howard Kendall in the casino after getting utterly shit faced with half of his Shef Utd squad.

Carl Tyler who had a loan spell for us was a man that could drink and drink.

And then nobble 17 year old birds

right as you can imagine i have met a fair few celebs so im going to mention the strangest.
t in the park about 95/96? doing coke in a toilet cubicle with paul weller, noel gallagher and steve cradock. yes it was cramped and i was fucked out of my head and tripping.

theres a pic of me in one of the oasis books about 10 minutes after this looking totally deacon next to noel and steve watching cast (britpop orgasm)

i think the books by ian robertson(?)

I know loads of people who've met either Noel or Liam, I'm sure my time will come one day.

Jim and I were with Kenneth Wolstenholme for a weekend in Italy in 98. He was doing the TV commentary on a match my lad was playing in against Bologna U16 (English Schools U16 Cup winners with James Williams and Kevin Nolan in midfield - beat them 4-2).

Absolute gent and wicked sense of humour. Must have been well into his 70s but couldn't half put it away and had the constitution of an ox. We shared a litre of Jameson's finest in our room and he was as fresh as a daisy bright and early next morning.

What is James Williams doing now, Mr Santini?

Do foreign minor celebs in their own country count?

If so, when in Thailand in 2001 after a marathon session playing pool (unbeaten all night) this Thai guy walked in with his own bat and everything. "You wont need your queue" he said, he broke off potted 6 and missed, I cleared up. He left immediately. I was told by the owner of the bar he was the Thai National Pool champion   8)

Last time I saw him he was driving a parcel delivery van.

Amazing, until that shocker against Ipswich(?) he looked like a proper footballer.  What went wrong?

Mex, quick question, i know you run a small record label but how do you get to meet all these A list celebs?

Locate driver, drug driver, take driver's place and presto...

some fella out of londons burning was at wycombe away a few years ago.
think he's dead now.bulldog or something i think he was?

i was a tour manager for a few years for many bands.

and a drug dealer to the stars.

I saw Gok Wan and Jennifer Ellison over the weekend.  8)

:shag:

Who is Gok Wan

hes that camp chinese man off how to look good naked!

My sister took a picture of him into the hairdressers last time she got her hair cut as she wanted her fringe like his!

http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/H/htlgn/gok.html

That Gay one who does the show how to look good naked.

Why would anyone want a fringe like that?  :o

Not like that picture silly - how he has it normally!

Met Colin McCredie (DC Stuart Fraser in Taggart) in an indian restaurant near Hampden Saturday night. Met Bobby Lennox on Sunday :beers:

Oh fair enough  :D

i was on stage with Roy Castle and the blonde bird from record brakers when i was younger.

also met:

The guy with the lisp and funny hair from Take That
Worzal Gummage
Robert Englund
Black guy from Red Dwarf (he's in corrie)
JK + Denise Van Outen

wow you met Howard Donald from Take That!!

what record did you break on record breakers?

Charlotte, I hate to have to admit this but when I was young I went to a radio show on a beach with brother and sister, we met take that I played footy with robbie williams while my sister 'got to know' howard.  Dirty bitch, he kept calling her for a few months

They had only just got together

You sad act Ash.  :mrgreen:

Bayern Munich Manager Ottmar Hitzfeld, even had a Germany Vs England 6 a side kick about in his back garden.  8)

Is your sister hot, Ash?

eh?! whys that sad, all I cared about was my footy at teh time, I ahd no idea bout the birds and bees etc as was too young.  I dont take kindly to anyone wven looking at her now days

Dont go there.

Just kidding Ash.

not sure we were breaking a record. i was at a monster truck show when i was about 9. he was doing some demonstrations in a tent which he needed people to help. there was six of us who helped do this musical thing?!
can't remember exactly what we were doing but i remember he asked who i support. my mum had told me to say Liverpool. To which i said "my mum said Liverpool but i support Swindon!!!"
everyone cheered for liverpool but tumbleweed blew through when i mentioned swindon.

reminds me. i met Geof Capes on that same day

I've been told...

thats ace magic, I used to love that show.

didnt know about your sis ash :D

The ex Miss Thamesdown.... no you didnt

- Anna Friel in a Belfast Hotel (small, but very nice)
- Played footie against Ian Rush
- Dan Ackroyd in NY (Tall chap, his wife is quite tasty)

john aldridge used to live accross the road from me when he was at the pox

Neil slatter x pox used to live opposite me  :|

i once saw paul whitehouse getting pissed with female 20 year olds in a brick lane bar.

Nicholas Ball at Paddington last Thursday

I nearly met Pete Doherty on Sunday  :soapy tit wank:

Al the celebs i've met are rubbish:

Ulrika Johnson - In my local Supermarket
Wolf from Gladiator - In my local Burger King
Wogan - Randomly
Timmy Mallet - In the pub near to where i work (Marlow)
Parkinson - Randomly
David Seaman - Met them at an Arsenal day thing when i was about 11
Ray Parlour - as above
Some bloke from Hollyoaks  - Randomly
Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys in Ibiza Airport - That one is ace though


Where i live is pretty good for rubbish celebs

you are such a muppet!!! I bet you had your football kit on as well ha ha ha

as for your sister she is hot!!!!!! hmmmmmmmm creamed my iced bun many a time. Don't forget i've danced with her and tocuhed her bum!!!!!! oh what a magical new years eve!!!!!

as for the subject.

I used to cut maggie thacthers lawn does that count?

Surely if you cut Maggie Thatchers lawn and met her that does not count as "Unexpected" celeb encounters.

I don't know the girl but good work with Bushey's sister btw!!!

as long as it wasn't her bush

Yeah I heard you sell scag now

No but i was a bit gutted as we would have made £50 out of it as well  :(

How much crack can I get for £50?

about 3-4 rocks

i met Steve Mcmanaman and Robbie Fowler in ladbrookes at the top of town once.

ive sat in a hotel room afterparty with goldie (of celeb bb fame) and got nicely off my face in his company...

happy days

I went to school with Mark Lamarr (or Mark Jones as he was then) but I suppose he wasn't a celebrity then.

And they weren't really unexpected encounters as he was a mate, except for the time that he climbed out a second floor window during a very dull French lesson....... that was quite unexpected....

My missis is meeting Mick Foley this weekend.

I only met Travis Barker.   :(

You absolute Cunt of the highest order, only just saw this!

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Dil is funny.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Mega bump.

Just saw James Dean Bradfield in Tesco Express. He didn't use reusable bags either.

Ha ha ace.

 :unsure:

working at sainsburys in stratton as a teen i regularly was melinda messenger
when at reading festival a few years ago pancho from dirty sanchez nicked my lighter, in new york i verbally abused jim courier in the street coz he was a cock :-)

 ???

What is the meaning of this?

I don't know who that person is!?

Oh I understand you now, I think if I had hovered over the smiley it would have given me a clue.

Anyway, he's the lead singer and guitarist of the Manic Street Preachers.

Ah, I've heard of them  :).

What, you put on a wig, shoved a couple of socks down your shirt and dressed up like her?

Predictive text strikes again and this time it wasn't me.

Saw Davina McCall today on Carnaby Street. She looked old and average.

That's the wrong order of letters.

Many years ago (around '92) at about about 10pm after an all day bender I saw the then chancellor of exchequer Nigel Lawson.  It was unexpected.  My comment to him was 'fuck me you're nigel lawson'.

mom sports ones... Arnie at Wimbledon one year, Moby on my flight to Milan another year, Katie Price, at Ministry when I was at uni... probably a few more as well.

Frank Burrows :football:.  One of the airports in Florida.  Can't remember which one.  i watched him play when I was a brat. I thought he'd be taller :jawdrop:

Bad thing when your memory starts to w.................

I've met various celebrities but the first was the most unexpected. As a 14 year old I lay paralytic in the front garden of a house where an important dinner party was being held. The guests emerged, whilst waiting for the ambulance. A certain Dame Judi Dench, wearing evening gown, cradled me in her arms before I vomited right down her cleavage. A dinner party indeed which concluded with her having carrot baps ! She wasn't a Dame then so it was ok.
 Other than that I did once get pissed with, and shag Tina Weymouth (Talking Heads) and I can confirm that Frankie Howerd was more miserable than Arriba !

Maybe he thought you were a crap shag

Tonight Matthew.....

:-)
it was too early

Literally bumped into Craig Charles in Somerfield in Chard when he lived down here, miserable fucker.

And was in a queue behind another famous Chardian Kate O'Mara a couple of weeks ago, she had a trolley full of health foods and still looked like some kind of cat/woman cross.

I've met star of stage, screen and Channel 5's "Brighton Bummers", Mex. Beat that!

pot calling the kettle black.cunt ;)

I have met local newspaper sports headline hogger paul davies.

walked past Howard from Take That once at a touring car meet @ Silverstone

when i was learning to drive, i nearly ran down kammy in witney town centre. he ran out in front of me with a dry cleaned/rented tux

unbelievable.

When younger at the home counties dog show with my mum,we met Pauline Quirke,Linda,Robson and Pam St Clement.

Met a pissed up Alan Carr in LA airport on the way back from Honeymoon. He's fatter than he looks.

quite regularly see Pam St Clement in tescos near where i work.

Shes one fat mama!

I was on my way to USA and sat in the busness lounge in Gatwick. I had nodded off but was awaken by some bellend singing 'We're all going on a summer holiday'. Thinking shut the fuck up I'm trying to sleep I opened my eyes to see Cliff Richard. What a Knob.

Ran past John Barnes at Centre Parks one year long ago when he was still playing.

Andy "I'm a twat" Gray walked into me at a George Michael Concert.  He hurt my shoulder and didn't even say sorry.  What a cunt.

i'm sure i've just seen Jamilia being filmed by Midlands Today in Birmingham.
well thats who she looked like anyway

Sat next to Fearn Cotton on a flight to NY about 2yrs ago.

She did confirm Ant & Dec are indeed twats.

Buster Bloodvessel. I helped him choose some lampshades about 15 years ago, when I was working for Homebase in Hayes.

Ossie Ardiles. Helped him choose some folding chairs for the training ground about 20 years ago, when I was working at the old Texas Homecare at Greenbridge.

Steve 'Interesting' Davis. Bumped into him at a village fete years ago. He asked my mate if he was having a good time. My mate misheard and told him it was 'Just gone half 3.'

I love that last one Herthab it just tickles me.

Roger Moore was behind me at Carrefour (now West Swindon Asda) when he was in town shooting "A View To A Kill" and nice nice enough to give me his autograph, although I was only 12 at the time.

My sister met Justin Lee Collins not long ago and he tried to stick his tounge down her throat!
she has a great picture of her and her friend with him in her downstairs loo though!

What were the three of them doing in her downstairs loo?

taking a photograph, obviously!!

They didnt take the photo int he loo sillys she just has the picture hanging up in there!

I think you must have done something very bad to upset karma.

This has to be the winner.  James Bond at Carrefour.  I wonder whether he ventured upstairs to the Red Balloon restaurant as well, or perhaps for a quick stroll around Toothill after his shopping.

     
  Huh ! Just his tongue ? How unadventurous.

who hasnt tried that?

I had a piss up with triple z list celeb Richard Blackwood in Malia back in 2007, he really was broke, doing a dj set for 100 euro.

Johnny Depp in Portishead Waitrose, Orlando Bloom in Sainsbury's and Keira Knightly in Weston town centre (quite recently).

Ooooohhh  aaaarrrrrrrrrrrr me hearties!

Is that on set of their latest film, pirates of the bristol channel?

The Black Pearl is safely anchored in Royal Portbury dock.....

I was drinking outside at the Edinburgh Festival about a month ago and George Burley and his wife walked past - this was days after Scotland had lost 4-1 to Norway. I hilariously shouted 'you not seen enough comedy for one week George' to which he smiled at me and gave me the thumbs up...........



































He didn't, he had a face like a dog licking shite off of nettles.

That reminded me of this. Is that George and his wife in the background? One of them is wearing a skirt.....

http://thetownend.com/index.php/topic,35668.0.html

sat on the next table to ian beale upstairs in macdonalds in town must be 15-17 years ago.think he was in panto here.
also another panto related one in our humble town.walked past colin baker in the alley next to the savoy and he said hello to me and the mrs.how friendly

I saw Steve Redgrave at bath once. He was quite far away though

My sister did dancing at Molly Tanner and was in that panto. We met Ian Beale, he was an utter tosser from memory, right up his own arse.

i would have liked to go up the arse of the bird he was with

Pauline Fowler?

Christ that took me back to my youth! ha!

Couple of poor ones.

I asked Emlyn Hughes to get out of a phone box I wanted to use at a service station when I was about 7.

When I was a student I used to put marquees up during the summer and for about 3 years did one everyear at Ronnie Barkers house, he was a nice bloke although very quiet.

I was at a conference a few years ago & met Paul Mc Cartney back stage. (Heather Mills was a speaker), but I was more interested in meeting Macca.

At Glastonbury this year we were talkng to that fat astrology guy. Forget his name but have seen him on morning TV

Russell Grant?

I bumped into Thai and international tennis star Paradorn in burger King at a the weekend, he is very tall.

               
 So you bumped into a Whopper then ?

Russell lives near me.  He's very fat, camp as Christmas but a nice fella.  Often seen sleeping in his car.

I've met the girl who got chucked out of Big Brother for saying nigger. Got my photo with her too.

I recently got a train with the twins from skins and the one who plays the lebian (Naomi was it?).

Similarly I stood next to Ronnie Size on a train once.

I'm sure the bloke who said hello and got into his Maserati after I got home from work is a Cardiff City player. I would key the car but there's CCTV :(

Minge?

Haven't seen anything decent in my block yet.

I wonder if he knew he would be talking to you.

Rick Stein at Newquay airport.The other half was going to ask him how Chalky [his killer dog] was,thankfully he didn't as the little fella had snuffed it.

Yes..think he got lost on the Korean leg of his tour.

Ha ha.Again  :D
Tonight is just full of chuckles.

And england are bossing it and i've got tomorrow off to go to a wedding  :)

Yes thats the guy.

Anyone remember the Bluetones....no thought not.

Anyway, they were in my local last night having fish and chips and watching the footy.

I was listening to 'Expecting to Fly' the other day. Great album!

I was walking into Paddington station a couple of years ago and saw a film crew in one of the side streets. Had a closer look and was about to laugh at the fact that an old tramp was giving the camera crew some hassle when I realised that it was actually Dustin Hoffman.

I actually bloody love the Bluetones

I saw Lesley Vainikolo coming out of Bristol Crown Court yesterday.

Turns out he's actually quite a big old lad - I could still have him though.

Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet standing outside my house a couple of years ago,
whilst on film location is pretty good! Getting paid for the inconvenience was even better!

how much?

Got in a lift in the Royal Garden in london to see Noel Edmunds in there - a dwarf irritating cunt. Took the piss out of Tears for Fears at Heston on the way to a game in London - miserable fuckers. On the way to another game in London, Mel Smith tried to run me over in his Roller - his Roller would have got the worst end of that deal.
But the best of all when I lived in Yate was to bump into the great man himself Chalkie at about 9pm when I was buying fruit cake for my pregnant wife. We exchanged enbarrassed hellos. I didn't tell him he was my all time hero.

My mate played for Bath City when Chalkie was there. At said mates wedding, after several sherberts, I proceeded to bow down to Chalkie and do exactly what you didn't. I'm not sure who was more embarassed.

i used to be a parcelforce driver in birmingham many years ago and i once delivered a parcel to liam daish, it was unexpexcted as it was addressed to his missus who was fit but about 6 foot 4.

I saw the actor who played Jimmy The Perv in the Office Comic Relief episode (series 2) at Wembley on Wednesday night. The one who keeps trying to french kiss Dawn when it's "kisses for a quid".

I LOVE the Bluetones!!  Still tour a lot so I try to go and see them when I can...

Im so glad Im not the only one!!!

Saw Terry Waite on a train from Blackheath...he has huge feet, really massive feet.  I have also been to Steve White's house to inteview him for the 69er.

i wrote to steve white and ossie ardiles for my english gcse coursework
both replied, and i still have both letters.
ossies was on stfc paper typed up by his secretary,but chalkies was handwritten with his home address on.
i think he still lives there.

I urinated over Joey Beauchamps leg in some nightclub toilets in Oxford a few years back.
Screwed up my aiming.

To say he was not impressed was an understatement 8)

Spotted Hertha and Fred leaning on a tree outside the DRS today about 15 mins before kick off  :)

It was probably holding the Elliot up! 8)

I'm moving to Byker next month... You'll be the first to know when I bump into PJ & Duncan.

Fuck that, its spuggy you should be looking for!

[url width=150 height=180]http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/content/images/2008/05/21/byker_spugie150_150x180.jpg[/url]

PJ im bliiind!!

That is class and you should feel proud not embarrassed. I think I should feel embarassed for not doing it. Good work.

With what the pee on his leg or something else

robbie williams today at avebury

Was he just milling around, or doing some event there?

just having a stroll.

Oh right, bet you got his autograph :)

nah.just realised it was him walking by.
dont like the bloke really, but my mrs had a wet moment over it

In Baker Street a few weeks ago my mate started talking to Vincent Pericard...who for some reason wouldn't admit he was indeed Vincent Pericard.

Can't think why  :hmmm:

moist Mrs Arriba - was that with toast?

Maybe it really WASN'T him?

Maybe he said he was Dossevi?

It was him! I was sober at that point.

Fucking racist. All look the same to you do they?



:)

I saw someone who looked very much like Andy Carroll on the tube today. I wonder why anyone would model their look on him, unless it was him.

Saw Viv Anderson in a pub at Oldham Away this season  :pint:

I nearly ran over Peter Mandelsohn on Sunday...the twat went the wrong way down Marylebone Road and crossed in front of me as i waited at some traffic lights. I was too slow to open my window and abuse him which is a regret I will take to my grave!
He was wearing a really gay looking aqua marine fleece and riding a lady's foldable bike..

Did he have an illegal Brazilian immigrant ( sorry fastracked passport ) hanging out the back of him

Sadly not, otherwise the Met Police could have had him shot at Stockwell tube station!!!

Last night, Playboy party, Cannes Film Festival, Micheal Jacksons dad.

And about 20 bodyguards.

Surely a celeb encounter in Cannes is hardly unexpected?

Met T V Smith, formerly with a band called the Adverts, 2 weeks ago. He was headlining at a smallish music venue called Stadion here in Munich. My mate Jol was support, and we all chatted after the gig. Great set, top bloke. T V Smith I mean, Jol was ok too.
 
Probably obscure unless you're into Punk.

Also not exactly unexpected as I was working the Radio 1 thing, but this weekend I met amongst others Dave Grohl and the rest of the foos, The Script, Ellie Goulding, Olly Murrs, Chase and Status and Lady Gaga.  I had a dump in Lady Gaga's winnebago.  Not really a claim to fame, just a lovely sentence I thought.

Is Grohl really 'the nicest man in rock'?

Yes.  No pretension whatsoever.  Went off to do interviews in one of thee bbc lots Kia Rio.  Wouldn't get that from Gaga.

Was she really that bad???

Was he still looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes? :-)

I know you love her so wont think anything bad of her, but she has a ridiculous amount of people around her and yet she still wont get onto stage on time. 

I dont like performers disrespecting the people who have made them stars in this way.  Kids were at the show who, because she couldn't be arsed to get on stage, would probably have got home really late.  No respect for her audience. 

When I eventually got all her dancers round to her she then kept them waiting for 10 minutes before gracing them with her presence.  She then did a sodding prayer with them, keeping all the audience, the fans, the tv viewing public, waiting another 10 minutes.  The fans put you where you are, respect them.

Rant over.

I had a shouting converstion with Frank Skinner at an EMINEM gig a few years ago. He was on the uper level with the VIP's. I asked if he enjoyed the gig, he said he liked my coat. That was it really.

Last year I was in Selfridges and some girl barged by me and started telling the woman in front how she was her biggest fan, the woman turned round and it was Amy Winehouse.
Not a fan of hers at all but still found myself smiling at her as we made eye contact....then i spoilt it by looking down at her tits

Aaayyyyy! I'm impressed, for what little that counts for. Are the Adverts/TV Smith really that obscure? I always thought of them as one of the more mainstream New Wave/Punk bands, bit like The Undertones (in profile, not musically)

The Adverts were obscure to me :), I only went because my mate Jol was playing. I have to say though, I really enjoyed TV's set, as did the rest of the (95% German) audience. Lots of them obviously knew some of his songs and were singing them too. I particularly liked "I Complained", great lyrics.

Not sure how to upload fotos, but if you want to see one of TV after the gig you can check out Jol M-Jive on Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150240110483223&set=t.1276612108&type=1&theater

Was in the gym with Nick Heyward (Haircut 100) on Monday.

Where did you go from there?  Was it down to the lake I fear?

Must've been a fantastic day.

Just seen Frank Rijkard getting out of a taxi at the Fairmont Hotel, Monte Carlo.

 Just seen Paolo di Canio, running the half marathon, my kid was doing it and ended up in a sprint finish with PdC.  Does PdC count as a celeb?

A few years ago we spent a week at Val de Lobo, and when checking in we were behind Ronald Koeman in the queue.

Girl group Eternal came to our wedding reception, am very friendly with their old tour manager, have met plenty of pop stars but wouldnt like to name drop !

 myself and my friend were once sat in a curry house  in swindon watching eric bristow  and i assume his manager/ agent eat almost the whole menu before upping and leaving without paying , leaving all the ass kissers he was sat with to settle the bill . The limestone cowboy obviously as he frequents many local darts pubs.   Tony benn asleep on a train . Various swindon players in all kinds of conditions . I also slapped willie carson on the back  in a  friendly drunken way at the county ground , whilst forgetting he had a recent bad injury due to being either kicked or falling from a horse , which he wasnt too pleased about , (this was around 1996 )

gary gilmors eyes is my one of my favorite punk songs

While absolutely pissed at my firms bash I slapped down 2 pints of beer in front of Lou Macari and asked him for a trial - shame he's tee total and I was shit and shitfaced.

Ralph was sat next to sloth from the goonies yesterday

Chatted with Johnny Briggs (aka Mike Baldwin) in the check in queue @ Orlando airport. Mick Jagger and I eye balled each other at Heathrow. Richard Stapleton and Gregg dyke had a conversation with me in the directors box at Brentford a few seasons ago. Keith Floyd chatted to me in the now closed DIY shop in Faringdon a few years ago.

I'm sure there's more but I can't think of any. 

Does STFC's very own Shaun Skinner count as a celeb?  :hmmm:

Far too many from the footballing world to mention, especially Forest, although did meet Brian Clough twice, the first time I asked for an autograph and he invited me in to his office, and the second I asked for an autograph for a friend and he told me to fook off!

Met Graham Taylor when he was Wolves manager, I was doing work experience with the Adver back in 95 and went with the journo to Wolves v Swindon game, last game of the 94/95 season I think, and we had a brief discussion afterwards, he was a tad dull though!

I seem to recall Kris Akabussi coming to New College too for some reason around 94/95 time?

Once saw Roy Keane smacked outside a Nottingham nightclub for being a mouthy cnut.

Also once saw Prince Naseem Ahmed get refused entry to a Nottingham nightclub for wearing jeans, despite his "do you know how I am" tirade.

Recently saw Les Dennis and family at a light steam railway in Skipton, met him before though about 15 years ago at Central TV in Nottingham, he was in the canteen with Jim Bowen, and Freddie Starr walked in and started verbally ripping in to Dennis and Bowen verbally like you've never seen before.  Those two did not know where the hell to put themselves.

Randomly bumped in to Anthony Daniels (C3PO actor) in a hotel in Disney World, Florida.  He was there for the Star Wars weekends they hold every year, and normally you have to queue up just to get a pass to get a chance to meet him, not me though, a picture later and I took great pride in telling those nerdy Yanks who had been disappointed that they couldn't meet him that I already had, and that I'd been on the new Star Wars 3D ride before it had opened!

Had a 5 hour meeting with Deborah Meaden from Dragon's Den last Wednesday

What a lovely woman she is !!!!

Really ???

Did you tell him it should have been a red card?

Had a cup of tea with Cleo Lane and Johny Dankworth years back,also a gin and tonic with Jim Davidson,also a good chinwag with Glenn Hoddle at the golf at Wentworth where he was with Ruud Gullit who was attracting woman like bees at a honey pot, and delivered a few weeks back to Dan Snow's house where we had a good chinwag about Swindon and the Supermarine factory as he was doing a project on the Spitfire at the time.
The nicest person i have met was probably Barbara Windsor while delivering in Covent Garden,she was there with her boyfriend but still had the time to stop and have a chinwag.

No I didn't.
To be honest didn't realise it was him until he was walking away

Yeah absolutely - she was lovely - and very clued up !

Madonna in a shop on Marlybone High Street. She's quite small in real life and I wouldn't have noticed her other than the fact that her security guy was absolutely enormous and not doing a very good job of keeping a low profile. She looked stunning for her age.

For future reference, there are other colloquial terms out there beyond 'chinwag'

Just seen Lukas Magera - ok not really a celebrity.

Anyone else think he looks like this?

[url width=300 height=300]http://www.johnbarber.com/desperate-dan.jpg[/url]

Well, um, no. For a start he's about 20 stone lighter than DD. I'd wager Magera has never seen a cow pie in his life.

I've only seen him play twice, but i wouldn't say he was any lighter than DD, he has the physique of a darts player.

On my way to work to Chippenham a few months ago, Wayne Hemingway was sat a few seats away from me on the train, with his PA.

 :gay: :gay:....

more so the chin than anything else, he's got a very square jaw and had a far bit of stubble when I saw him today.

served and had a small chat with mr john gorman tonight at work.  the second time i've met him, the first time away at old trafford after our 4-2 loss in the prem, i did mention this to him but i don't think he remembered, it was nearly 20 years ago...

he asked if i ever went to see the dons and i said i couldn't do it, he understood.

I used to work on Marylebone High Street, true story

It's a scandal that they continue to use that name.  Just call them Franchise and then everyone will immediately know who you mean.   ;)

Nobody at my work really gets my hatred of them. Of course, they understand why but just don't feel the same.

Then one of the guys in tax who's not really until football started talking about Wimbledon and hoping they take over 'the Franchise, I call them that because that's what they are'. Pretty sad but it made my day.

Keith Chegwin in the savoy pub.

Hopefully he was on lemonade

Sat on a tube at Kentish town in London, the other one (whos not Noel Fielding) from The Mighty Boosh sat opposite me.  Once off the tube I got round the corner to go into a music shop and he was in there again.  Felt like he was stalking me.

Then walked down charlotte street and Ross Noble was sat outside a cafe.

I rewired his house near newbury back in the day, There was a stannah stairlift in there. Although to be fair he hadnt long had it so it may have already been there. Just remembered, I also blew up Willie Carsons new cooker when he bought somewhere baydon way iirc, and electrocuted his dog. I made the right career choice by giving up that game in Hindsight.

Julian Barratt (the better of the duo)

Cheggers can't be boozers.

Cheggers goes pop  ::)

 :)

Omelette from Lee Nelson walking through Pinehurst last week!

that could have been anyone.

David Couthard & Jonny Wilkinson at Heathrow & Amsterdam airports recently

I saw Mark Blundell driving his BMW on the way up to that 7-1 defeat at Forest. He was on his phone too the naughty cunt.

I'm surprised you recognised him, unless it was plastered all over the car.

The smug bastard saw me say "hey isn't that Mark Blundell?" as well and looked rather pleased with himself!

Just watched the second half of the England game sat next to Steve Bruce in Kelly's Irish Pub, St Tropez.

I hope you told him he looks like a fat Lexzza and that hes not good enough for Town.

Chris Eubank in the checkout queue at Boots in Heathrow T5. A group of middle aged women had spotted him and were having their photo taken but he still managed to keep his place in the queue. Surprisingly, he did seem a bit embarrassed by all the attention, but so he should as he was carrying the most outrageous man bag I've ever seen. :gay:

Stevie Wonder at Malpensa Airport in Milan, with a georgeous blond on his arm. What a waste !

Saw Alastair Down(channel 4 racing presenter) on Chipping Norton high street a couple of weeks ago as I was driving by in my truck

Should have come for a cuppa fella.

He might have been at charlie longsdens stable, its just up the road

That is blinding! Never seen that coming

Alastair Down used to drink in the pub I used to work at. He is the ultimate posh toff wanker. An absolute cunt when hes had a few drinks.

I saw a bloke who looked an awful lot like Jimmy Bullard at Gatwick South Terminal Arrivals this afternoon. 

You could swap her for a compete munter and he wouldn't know the difference. What a waste of woman, giving her to him. Just give him Susan Boyle or Anne Widdecunt and say she's a supermodel, problem solved.

Bernard Langer at Heathrow in 1981, the morning after he hit that amazing shot out of the tree at Fulford.

Had a meeting with the bank manager in Madrid. After a while he said, I have to call this to an end, because I have another important meeting. Walked out of his office  and there was Ron Atkinson, when he was manager of Athletico.

Fabio Capello, in the car park at the San Siro, before the ManU  v Milan game in 2010

When I was a kid , my dad owned a pub (The Rifle Volunteer in Emmbrook, in case anyone knows it). One night, on one of the police programmes, they were hunting a murderer or a rapist or something, and he was in the pub at the time. My dad called the police , and he was arrested in the bar. I thought that was dead exciting, and told everyone at school. Not sure he was a celebrity , though.

They arrested your Dad? That's a bit off? Not a good advert for Crimewatch if you report something and get arrested for it!

Trevor Brooking , who was a partner in a binder company with his mate tried to sell book binding to me many years ago when I was a buyer.

East Bay Ray and Klaus Flouride from The Dead Kennedys just wandering aroung the bar after a gig at the Academy in O****d

The King Blues playing an instore in Cheltenham

Sir Geoff Boycott when pissed on a train en route to Burton last season

Andy Partridge when pissed on a train ( common theme ) with AXS coming back from a days binge drinking and getting a passport

Do you find yourself meeting lots of pissed celebrities?

Sat behind Pete Tong on a flight to Ibiza on Friday, top bloke.

Robbie Savage in Cruise nightclub Chester. He'd scored for Derby that day and when my ex shoved me towards him to get a photo taken I drunkenly waffled on about how rarely he scores. To be fair he was a really nice chap and was trying to keep low key. I have also had Peter Crouch stand behind me in a queue in Barclays bank Weybridge, he really is a giant!

Walked past Ian Holloway and his wife on there way back to his Bentley in Morrisons car park in Chippenham the other day. Said "hi", he said "all right"

Couple of lame ones recently. The actress that played Mandy in Hollyoaks was at the table next to us at Southbank in London and then later that day Vanessa Feltz was 4 rows back at the Coldplay gig at the emirates.