Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: What does a team need?  (Read 2321 times)
Mr Stevens

Offline Offline

Posts: 374




Ignore
« on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 11:51:14 »

People who know a lot more than me about football can wax lyrically about the make up of a good team, usually involving things like a strong spine or a creative midfield etc etc.

I disagree. There are six constituent parts to the basis of a good team. They are:-

1) a player with dreadlocks.
2) a large Northern centre half, preferably called Higginbottom.
3) a player with a headband, preferably visible.
4) someone called Traore.
5) a wiry winger.
6) an unknown South American with anger-management issues.

If we don't go up this season, I would suggest that Jody looks at this list to begin the rebuild.
Logged

Take your chips and fuck off home.
jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER

Offline Offline

Posts: 12507




« Reply #1 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 11:59:54 »

7) A Frenchman who religiously wears gloves
Logged
Batch
Not a Batch

Offline Offline

Posts: 55162





Ignore
« Reply #2 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 12:00:48 »

8.  a silky trialist that after you sign him realise judging him in a 7-0 against the dog and duck 11 wasn't ideal
Logged
Mr Stevens

Offline Offline

Posts: 374




Ignore
« Reply #3 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 12:01:35 »

We've nearly got a team!
Logged

Take your chips and fuck off home.
Jimmy HaveHave

Offline Offline

Posts: 15074





Ignore
« Reply #4 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 12:15:30 »

9, you need a Smith in the team.
Logged

So, give no fucks
Batch
Not a Batch

Offline Offline

Posts: 55162





Ignore
« Reply #5 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 12:16:33 »

Quote from: Jimmy QuitMoaning
9, you need a Smith in the team.

and he must be referred to a smudge or smudger at all times
Logged
Jimmy HaveHave

Offline Offline

Posts: 15074





Ignore
« Reply #6 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 12:18:15 »

and he must be referred to a smudge or smudger at all times

 Clap
Logged

So, give no fucks
Wobbly Bob

Offline Offline

Posts: 4129





Ignore
« Reply #7 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 12:29:09 »

10. The fans scapegoat.
Logged

Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
Crap!
DiV
Has also heard this

Offline Offline

Posts: 32123


Joseph McLaughlin




Ignore
« Reply #8 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 13:44:19 »

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.
Logged
Wobbly Bob

Offline Offline

Posts: 4129





Ignore
« Reply #9 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 14:03:04 »

And of course no team is complete without the no 12. The fans.
We always know best.
Logged

Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
Crap!
Pericardinho

Offline Offline

Posts: 857




Ignore
« Reply #10 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 14:08:11 »

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

Otherwise known as 'the mason mount'
Logged
Mr Stevens

Offline Offline

Posts: 374




Ignore
« Reply #11 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 14:09:02 »

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

See 10)
Logged

Take your chips and fuck off home.
Nemo
Shit Bacon

Online Online

Posts: 21076





Ignore
« Reply #12 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 14:21:20 »

13. The Athlete - a player who is bigger and faster than everyone else, but fundamentally not very good at football. Probably broke all sorts of scoring records at youth level after hitting puberty at 7, but has 4 goals in 162 senior games, almost all of which were off the bench. Still being referred to as a "rough diamond" by all and sundry.
Logged
DiV
Has also heard this

Offline Offline

Posts: 32123


Joseph McLaughlin




Ignore
« Reply #13 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 14:27:24 »

Otherwise known as 'the mason mount'

‘the michael pook’ at our level
Logged
Posh Red
Posh by name, Posh by nature

Online Online

Posts: 7211





Ignore
« Reply #14 on: Sunday, February 5, 2023, 14:34:14 »

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

The opposite of Grant Smith, who couldn’t get a game but when he had to play as we had nobody else came out and played really well.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
Print
Jump to: