Thetownend.com

People who know a lot more than me about football can wax lyrically about the make up of a good team, usually involving things like a strong spine or a creative midfield etc etc.

I disagree. There are six constituent parts to the basis of a good team. They are:-

1) a player with dreadlocks.
2) a large Northern centre half, preferably called Higginbottom.
3) a player with a headband, preferably visible.
4) someone called Traore.
5) a wiry winger.
6) an unknown South American with anger-management issues.

If we don't go up this season, I would suggest that Jody looks at this list to begin the rebuild.

7) A Frenchman who religiously wears gloves

8.  a silky trialist that after you sign him realise judging him in a 7-0 against the dog and duck 11 wasn't ideal

We've nearly got a team!

9, you need a Smith in the team.

and he must be referred to a smudge or smudger at all times

 :clap:

10. The fans scapegoat.

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

And of course no team is complete without the no 12. The fans.
We always know best.

Otherwise known as 'the mason mount'

See 10)

13. The Athlete - a player who is bigger and faster than everyone else, but fundamentally not very good at football. Probably broke all sorts of scoring records at youth level after hitting puberty at 7, but has 4 goals in 162 senior games, almost all of which were off the bench. Still being referred to as a "rough diamond" by all and sundry.

‘the michael pook’ at our level

The opposite of Grant Smith, who couldn’t get a game but when he had to play as we had nobody else came out and played really well.

It's players like that who make we question my ability to rate players.  At school, the kids who were head and shoulders above never made it (well, one did, who again was quite Pooky in amongst the others).  If they never made it, then the ones that did must have been stellar, so someone somewhere got to see Pook and think that!  How?  Surely he was picked middle of the group at lunch time?

And everyone knows that any successful English team requires at least four players to form a FIFA club and go around each others apartments after training.  Any team without such a club is doomed.

14. The Maverick. Flair player and legend in his own lunchtime. Looks like a tramp on the pitch. Any two from alice band, man bun or hipster beard.
The fans love him. Teammates think he's a pain in the arse.

15. A sick note. Either a super fast winger with hamstrings made of cheese, or a midfielder who looks class but is only fit one per year.

16, A player that likes to go out on the razz gets dropped from the first team and pays his fine with 1p coins😀

17.
A Moroccan who is nearly always on fire on the pitch (and off it)

18.
A playmaking Australian who you pray stays every transfer window, even though you know the inevitable sale will happen at same point

19.
A player who is shit and barely good enough for L2 (Div 4), yet has an entourage big enough to shame any global rapper

20.
A player who is pretty decent but has a manager who is blinkered and plays him relentlessly, even when injured; even in a *Play Off Final for e.g where it's pretty obvious his hamstrings are still more torn than Sophie Zawistowska in Sophie's Choice!






*Ok, THAT Preston PO Final still effing hurts.

21. A 7ft stiker who is no good in the air
22. A 7ft CB who is dominant in the air, but like Bambi on ice with the turning circle of the Titanic and the speed of a steam engine.
23. A striker with a steam-hammer shot who dives like a leaping salmon at the thought of a defender touching him
24. An ex-con who is less ex and more con.

25. Consistency

An experienced right back

A good kick up the arse.

I reckon they got one on Sunday or this morning😀

Love this

#Reg