What does a team need?

[Mr Stevens]

People who know a lot more than me about football can wax lyrically about the make up of a good team, usually involving things like a strong spine or a creative midfield etc etc.

I disagree. There are six constituent parts to the basis of a good team. They are:-

1) a player with dreadlocks.
2) a large Northern centre half, preferably called Higginbottom.
3) a player with a headband, preferably visible.
4) someone called Traore.
5) a wiry winger.
6) an unknown South American with anger-management issues.

If we don't go up this season, I would suggest that Jody looks at this list to begin the rebuild.

[jayohaitchenn]

7) A Frenchman who religiously wears gloves

[Batch]

8.  a silky trialist that after you sign him realise judging him in a 7-0 against the dog and duck 11 wasn't ideal

[Mr Stevens]

We've nearly got a team!

[Jimmy Quinn]

9, you need a Smith in the team.

[Batch]

9, you need a Smith in the team.

and he must be referred to a smudge or smudger at all times

[Jimmy Quinn]

and he must be referred to a smudge or smudger at all times

 

[Wobbly Bob]

10. The fans scapegoat.

[DV]

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

[Wobbly Bob]

And of course no team is complete without the no 12. The fans.
We always know best.

[Pericardinho]

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

Otherwise known as 'the mason mount'

[Mr Stevens]

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

See 10)

[Nemo]

13. The Athlete - a player who is bigger and faster than everyone else, but fundamentally not very good at football. Probably broke all sorts of scoring records at youth level after hitting puberty at 7, but has 4 goals in 162 senior games, almost all of which were off the bench. Still being referred to as a "rough diamond" by all and sundry.

[DV]

Otherwise known as 'the mason mount'

‘the michael pook’ at our level

[No Longer Posh Red]

11. ‘The Super Trainer’ Player who offers next to nothing on the pitch but gets picked every week for 8 years by 11 managers and 3 caretakers - and no fans knows why exactly so assumes he must be Messi in training.

The opposite of Grant Smith, who couldn’t get a game but when he had to play as we had nobody else came out and played really well.