Trivial things you don't understand/mildly annoy you

[Qunk]

The format of the poll means those best joke things are all one liners, and there aren't that many comedians whose trade that is really - certainly if Tim Vine and Milton Jones aren't bothering!

True.

Having looked at the top ten list though, there are some jokes that to me were clearly better than the winner, and at the very least were original. Quite how none of the comedy critics who put the joke up for nomination noticed it’s been told in various formats since the beginning of jokes is beyond me.

[4D]

Our fucking useless road network. 4 and a half hours to get to Swansea.
Bath Junction to Almondsbury,  snail's pace. Ditto Newport to Cardiff.
Port Talbot to Swansea asthmatic snail's pace.

[Jimmy Quinn]

It's always a nightmare going past the Newport jcts through to Port Talbot whenever I've driven through South Wales.

[UTR]

I used to drive regularly between Swansea and Swindon for University and was always a seamless drive but went back recently and Jesus Christ what have they done to that route. Takes triple the time.

[Batch]

when I was at uni in Swansea you had to come off the motorway and go through Bridgend and edge of port Talbot! or was the M4 just really shit. long time ago now

they built the new junction and second Severn crossing while I was there.

But it wasn't really that bad as usually went back later in evening.

I've no idea how I managed without a satnav

edit: it was Britton Ferry that wasn't motorway 92-93/94 I think

[4D]

I used to get to the Gower early 90s from Calne in 1hr 45 mins    
Too much fucking traffic and shit drivers nowadays.

[Batch]

I used to get to the Gower early 90s from Calne in 1hr 45 mins   
 

now that's impressive.

also too many speed cameras too

[Audrey]

Shopping in M&S and I saw a fella stuffing his hold-all with various products. Now, bollocks to approaching him, but I followed him around the aisles so he knew that I knew he was thieving. Apparently staff are told not to approach shoplifters as well.

What a time to be alive.

[4D]

Should have 'accidentally' chinned him 

[Legends-Lounge]

Shopping in M&S and I saw a fella stuffing his hold-all with various products. Now, bollocks to approaching him, but I followed him around the aisles so he knew that I knew he was thieving. Apparently staff are told not to approach shoplifters as well.

What a time to be alive.

Let me regale you with this one then. Just to assuage your fears of a collapsing degenerate society. Back in the late 70’s when Superdrug were a relatively new comer to the typical British retail high street. Remember when Superdrug used to be down towards where old Brunel statue was? I was queuing to pay for some strawberry scented VO5 shampoo (yes I can remember what I was buying) and an old tramp came in wearing what would have been described as a military great coat. He opens his coat to reveal inside pockets where he deftly slotted FOUR bottles of surgical spirit (ribbed brown bottles with corks in the top), casually did up the coat and walked out.

[Jimmy Quinn]

In the late 80's walking down town in the early hours towards the train station to get a taxi witnessed two men breaking into Rumbelows TV shop carrying a portable TV only to be chashed by two policeman behind Tescos and hearing the sound of glass breaking.

[Audrey]

I shouldn’t be sat inside wearing a hoodie in August

[Jimmy Quinn]

Summer is over🤣

[Qunk]

Let me regale you with this one then. Just to assuage your fears of a collapsing degenerate society. Back in the late 70’s when Superdrug were a relatively new comer to the typical British retail high street. Remember when Superdrug used to be down towards where old Brunel statue was? I was queuing to pay for some strawberry scented VO5 shampoo (yes I can remember what I was buying) and an old tramp came in wearing what would have been described as a military great coat. He opens his coat to reveal inside pockets where he deftly slotted FOUR bottles of surgical spirit (ribbed brown bottles with corks in the top), casually did up the coat and walked out.

I used to assistant manage a pub in Birmingham. Norman, the local lovable rogue, came in one day bemoaning the swanky new CCTV system they’d just had installed in the Bullring and how this has scuppered his ability to shoplift. We shot the shit for ten minutes and off he plodded, only to return ten minutes later with a big grin on his face and a 24 pack of bud that he’d managed to nick from the Tesco delivery truck as it had stopped at a store round the corner. My boss bought it off him for a fiver

[Legends-Lounge]

Summer is over🤣

Heretic