Trivial things you don't understand/mildly annoy you

[tans]

If the bit about a man getting his todger stuck in a toaster didn't make you laugh there's no hope!

Having worked in the Fire Service Emergency control room i can confirm that you do get calls like this from time to time. It is most difficult to try and remain professional whilst on the line to them! I have had the call with the ring on the genitals and also a bloke with his piece stuck in a fence during my time.

Barnard who posts on here also, has probably dealt with a few like this too.

[Flashheart]

It's not my cup of tea, but one can see why somebody might want to experiment with various ways of pleasuring themselves.

But a toaster?

[Reg Smeeton]

It's not my cup of tea, but one can see why somebody might want to experiment with various ways of pleasuring themselves.

But a toaster?

Goblin tea's made ?

[Bob's Orange]

It's not my cup of tea, but one can see why somebody might want to experiment with various ways of pleasuring themselves.

But a toaster?

Maybe it's the pretence of anal, so when complete the member comes out brown.

[horlock07]

It's not my cup of tea, but one can see why somebody might want to experiment with various ways of pleasuring themselves.

But a toaster?

Sandwich toaster?

[chalkies_shorts]

The bag need changing?   

So Nemo, did you change your girlfriend

[Bob's Orange]

So Nemo, did you change your girlfriend

 

[tans]

Maybe it's the pretence of anal, so when complete the member comes out brown.

[Nemo]

So Nemo, did you change your girlfriend

She changed me...sadly not for a bloke called Henry or the circle would be complete

[4D]

The ugly lump sat behind me (about 6ft behind me) on the M3 during the rush hour trip home. Flashing lights at me, that's really going to make me get out of the way. Worst thing was she had a kid sat in the front that couldn't have been older than four. Some people really are dumb.

[Honkytonk]

The ugly lump sat behind me (about 6ft behind me) on the M3 during the rush hour trip home. Flashing lights at me, that's really going to make me get out of the way. Worst thing was she had a kid sat in the front that couldn't have been older than four. Some people really are dumb.

Too right, being fat and having a child is a disgusting, immoral practise.

[Sir Pissalot]

Have had three phone calls in the last two days from personal injury claims companies saying that their records indicate that I suffered an industrial injury some years ago (I didn't), two more from another one saying that their records indicate that I have been employed in an environment where there has been above normal levels of noise (I haven't), and one more from a guy claiming to be calling from Microsoft about my home computer (I'll wager that he wasn't employed by Microsoft at all).

I just need a call tomorrow to say that I have won the Nigerian Lottery and I will have completed the full set.

They are all cunts and I wish they would all fuck right off.  

[bigbobjoylove]

and one more from a guy claiming to be calling from Microsoft about my home computer (I'll wager that he wasn't employed by Microsoft at all).

Indian computer scammers. They will say something is wrong with your PC, they will ask for remote access and then infect it with a virus, charging you X amount to remove it.

[Sir Pissalot]

Indian computer scammers. They will say something is wrong with your PC, they will ask for remote access and then infect it with a virus, charging you X amount to remove it.

Yes, absolutely.  As soon as he said he was "from Microsoft", I told him to "do one" and hung up.

[joteddyred]

Have had three phone calls in the last two days from personal injury claims companies saying that their records indicate that I suffered an industrial injury some years ago (I didn't), two more from another one saying that their records indicate that I have been employed in an environment where there has been above normal levels of noise (I haven't), and one more from a guy claiming to be calling from Microsoft about my home computer (I'll wager that he wasn't employed by Microsoft at all).

I just need a call tomorrow to say that I have won the Nigerian Lottery and I will have completed the full set.

They are all cunts and I wish they would all fuck right off.  

I posted about this type of thing a few weeks ago.  I only realised the sheer number of calls we get at home, because I'm currently on mat leave.  I've taken to ignoring the phone now.