NZrobin
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« Reply #630 on: Sunday, November 24, 2013, 21:47:06 » |
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The Liverpool FC manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'
'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten up and now your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.'
The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry..'
'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum,
'It's your f*!%#ng fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!'
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Things can only get better
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« Reply #631 on: Monday, November 25, 2013, 08:46:40 » |
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Someone asked me yesterday what time Tottenham kicked off, apparently every 15 minutes I told them.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Things can only get better
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« Reply #632 on: Monday, November 25, 2013, 08:47:25 » |
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I just bought a new laptop and it asked me for a new password I tried SwindonsDefence but apparently it was too weak.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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« Reply #633 on: Monday, November 25, 2013, 11:43:21 » |
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I just bought a new laptop and it asked me for a new password I tried SwindonsDefence but apparently it was too weak.
Length: 15 Strength: Strong - This password is typically good enough to safely guard sensitive information like financial records. Entropy: 65.8 bits Charset Size: 52 characters http://www.lockdown.co.uk/?pg=combi |
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« Last Edit: Monday, November 25, 2013, 11:44:57 by jayohaitchenn »
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walrus
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« Reply #634 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 12:27:49 » |
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I am truly disgusted by the news about Ian Watkins.
Nothing says "weakling" like trying to rape a baby and failing...
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jimmy_onions
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« Reply #635 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 12:29:12 » |
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is that meant to be funny? ^
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Only Me
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« Reply #636 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 12:30:45 » |
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is that meant to be funny? ^
To be fair (not that I agree with it), he did put this in the Friday joke thread, so I am guessing he does |
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walrus
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« Reply #637 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 13:40:01 » |
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Too soon?
Apologies if it caused offence - it did make me titter, but then I'm told my sense of humoir is a bit risqué.
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DMR
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« Reply #638 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 13:53:50 » |
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Take it down before Ardiles tops himself
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Flashheart
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« Reply #639 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 13:54:19 » |
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Good work Walrus
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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« Reply #640 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 14:05:46 » |
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I don't get it.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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« Reply #641 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 15:06:19 » |
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Yes you do, you just don't like it.
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4D
Or not 4D that is the question
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I can't bear it 🙄
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« Reply #642 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 15:22:24 » |
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Awful joke on an awful topic
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Abrahammer
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A legitimate dude sighting
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« Reply #643 on: Thursday, November 28, 2013, 23:40:25 » |
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Someone just threw a block of cheddar at me, my first thought was that wasn't very mature
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4D
Or not 4D that is the question
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Posts: 21912
I can't bear it 🙄
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« Reply #644 on: Friday, November 29, 2013, 08:39:13 » |
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Are you Milton Jones?  |
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