ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
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Posts: 3857
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« Reply #525 on: Sunday, October 21, 2012, 14:19:34 » |
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Did you hear police have uncovered Jimmy Savile's diary? Apparently the last entry was 10 years old.
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
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Coca Fola
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« Reply #526 on: Monday, October 22, 2012, 21:14:18 » |
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Mcdonald's have announced their latest burger...... The mc savile sandwich.... 84 year old meat between 13 year old baps.
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Abrahammer
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Posts: 4851
A legitimate dude sighting
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« Reply #527 on: Monday, October 22, 2012, 21:18:31 » |
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Adele gave birth last week, mother and calf are said to be doing well
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64617
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #528 on: Thursday, October 25, 2012, 08:24:53 » |
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A muslim bloke I work with was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD.
Interested, I asked him to burn me a copy.
That didn't go down too well.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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walcot red
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Posts: 1549
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« Reply #529 on: Thursday, October 25, 2012, 15:33:23 » |
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BREAKING NEWS
Bob the builder has been sacked from his job. The bbc have released a statement saying they can't take the risk from someone else who says they can fix it
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steptoe41
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Posts: 487
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« Reply #530 on: Thursday, October 25, 2012, 16:31:36 » |
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The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?"
The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."
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Family at War
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Posts: 536
Midfield Maestro
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« Reply #531 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 12:51:20 » |
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New 007 Viagra out - it won't make it harder it just makes you Roger Moore!
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supermarioTV
"about as funny as AIDS"
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Posts: 153
Forum Heavyweight
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« Reply #532 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 15:34:15 » |
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Police see a cardigan running down the motorway, he say's pull over.....
I joined this forum just to add this joke, thank you.
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slinky
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Posts: 1349
i'm lovin' it
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« Reply #533 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 15:50:37 » |
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Police see a cardigan running down the motorway, he say's pull over.....
I joined this forum just to add this joke, thank you.
Cunt |
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Bewster
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Posts: 4004
We fucking love you Gumbo!
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« Reply #534 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 17:19:57 » |
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My farts sound like Mike Oldfield tracks.
Doctor says I have Tubular Bowels.
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supermarioTV
"about as funny as AIDS"
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Posts: 153
Forum Heavyweight
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« Reply #535 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 22:18:43 » |
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Cunt
Thanks, now I know you enjoy reading my shit, I'm going to post on here every day Dick Face. |
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slinky
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Posts: 1349
i'm lovin' it
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« Reply #536 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 00:30:29 » |
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Thanks, now I know you enjoy reading my shit, I'm going to post on here every day Dick Face.
Look forward to it. |
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64617
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #537 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 08:10:53 » |
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I hear Bruce Forsyth may be involved in the child abuse scandal.
Not a joke but it fucking made me laugh.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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supermarioTV
"about as funny as AIDS"
Offline
Posts: 153
Forum Heavyweight
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« Reply #538 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 08:38:36 » |
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Were you long in the hospital ? No, I was the same size that I am now.
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #539 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 10:45:17 » |
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I hear Bruce Forsyth may be involved in the child abuse scandal.
Not a joke but it fucking made me laugh.
I hear that Jeremy Beadle had a small hand in it. |
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