ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
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Posts: 3857
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« Reply #525 on: Sunday, October 21, 2012, 14:19:34 » |
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Did you hear police have uncovered Jimmy Savile's diary? Apparently the last entry was 10 years old.
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
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Coca Fola
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« Reply #526 on: Monday, October 22, 2012, 21:14:18 » |
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Mcdonald's have announced their latest burger...... The mc savile sandwich.... 84 year old meat between 13 year old baps.
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Abrahammer
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Posts: 4823
A legitimate dude sighting
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« Reply #527 on: Monday, October 22, 2012, 21:18:31 » |
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Adele gave birth last week, mother and calf are said to be doing well
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59383
Things can only get better
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« Reply #528 on: Thursday, October 25, 2012, 08:24:53 » |
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A muslim bloke I work with was bragging that he had the entire Koran on DVD.
Interested, I asked him to burn me a copy.
That didn't go down too well.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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walcot red
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Posts: 1549
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« Reply #529 on: Thursday, October 25, 2012, 15:33:23 » |
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BREAKING NEWS
Bob the builder has been sacked from his job. The bbc have released a statement saying they can't take the risk from someone else who says they can fix it
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steptoe41
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Posts: 487
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« Reply #530 on: Thursday, October 25, 2012, 16:31:36 » |
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The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?"
The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."
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Family at War
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Posts: 481
Midfield Maestro
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« Reply #531 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 12:51:20 » |
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New 007 Viagra out - it won't make it harder it just makes you Roger Moore!
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supermarioTV
"about as funny as AIDS"
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Posts: 153
Forum Heavyweight
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« Reply #532 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 15:34:15 » |
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Police see a cardigan running down the motorway, he say's pull over.....
I joined this forum just to add this joke, thank you.
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slinky
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Posts: 1349
i'm lovin' it
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« Reply #533 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 15:50:37 » |
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Police see a cardigan running down the motorway, he say's pull over.....
I joined this forum just to add this joke, thank you.
Cunt |
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Bewster
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Posts: 4004
We fucking love you Gumbo!
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« Reply #534 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 17:19:57 » |
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My farts sound like Mike Oldfield tracks.
Doctor says I have Tubular Bowels.
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supermarioTV
"about as funny as AIDS"
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Posts: 153
Forum Heavyweight
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« Reply #535 on: Friday, October 26, 2012, 22:18:43 » |
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Cunt
Thanks, now I know you enjoy reading my shit, I'm going to post on here every day Dick Face. |
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slinky
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Posts: 1349
i'm lovin' it
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« Reply #536 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 00:30:29 » |
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Thanks, now I know you enjoy reading my shit, I'm going to post on here every day Dick Face.
Look forward to it. |
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59383
Things can only get better
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« Reply #537 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 08:10:53 » |
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I hear Bruce Forsyth may be involved in the child abuse scandal.
Not a joke but it fucking made me laugh.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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supermarioTV
"about as funny as AIDS"
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Posts: 153
Forum Heavyweight
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« Reply #538 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 08:38:36 » |
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Were you long in the hospital ? No, I was the same size that I am now.
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #539 on: Saturday, October 27, 2012, 10:45:17 » |
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I hear Bruce Forsyth may be involved in the child abuse scandal.
Not a joke but it fucking made me laugh.
I hear that Jeremy Beadle had a small hand in it. |
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