Notts red
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« Reply #360 on: Friday, October 7, 2011, 22:16:47 » |
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A bloke was sitting on a bus next to a stunning blonde who was breast feeding her baby. The baby won't take it so the woman says " right if you don't take it I'll have to give it to this nice man sat next to us " after 10 mins trying the woman again says " look if your not going to take it I will give it to the man next to us , still the baby don't take it. Another 5 mins of trying and the woman says " if your not going to take it I'm going to let this man next to us have it " with that the bloke has had enough and says " look lady can you hurry up and make your mind up I was supposed to of got off this bus 10 stops ago "
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Bob's Orange
Has brain escape barriers
 Online
Posts: 29780
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« Reply #361 on: Friday, October 14, 2011, 14:03:39 » |
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After a night of debauchery, a man notices that he has green lumps on his nob,
He goes to the doctors who tells him that he has a serious issue. 'You've heard of wrestlers that get Cauliflower ears?' the doctor asks.
'yes' the man replies looking worried.
'Well' replies the doctor 'You've got brothel sprouts!'
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we've been to Aberdeen, we hate the Hibs, they make us spew up, so make some noise,
the gorgie boys, for Hearts in Europe.
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64622
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #362 on: Friday, October 21, 2011, 10:38:35 » |
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I can't believe Titus Bramble has been arrested for raping a disabled woman.
Well the police haven't said she was disabled but if she couldn't outrun Bramble she must have been pretty fucking slow.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Victor Mildew
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Posts: 176
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« Reply #363 on: Friday, October 21, 2011, 14:13:33 » |
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what do smoking cigarettes and licking pussy have in common?
The flavour gets stronger as you get closer to the butt!
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
Offline
Posts: 64622
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #364 on: Friday, October 21, 2011, 14:20:29 » |
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Men think about sex about every 6 breasts.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Saxondale
Online
Posts: 6481
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« Reply #365 on: Friday, November 11, 2011, 14:21:22 » |
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Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: A Chinese telephone.
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Never knowingly overstated.
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
Offline
Posts: 64622
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #366 on: Friday, November 11, 2011, 14:40:21 » |
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What do Mac Users use for birth control?
Their personalities.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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König
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Posts: 403
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« Reply #367 on: Thursday, November 24, 2011, 17:03:42 » |
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Went to Germany for the weekend and went in to a bar, i asked for dry martini and the bastards brought me out three.....
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donkey
Cheers!
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Posts: 7097
He headed a football.
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« Reply #368 on: Thursday, November 24, 2011, 17:38:53 » |
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Went to Germany for the weekend and went in to a bar, i asked for dry martini and the bastards brought me out three.....
All that beer in Germany and you drink Martini...jeez! |
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donkey tells the truth
I headed the ball. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-aaaaaaaawwwwwww |
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DMR
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« Reply #369 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 09:17:00 » |
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All that beer in Germany and you drink Martini...jeez!
Good grief |
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Bob's Orange
Has brain escape barriers
Online
Posts: 29780
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« Reply #370 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 09:39:40 » |
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This morning somebody wrote 'mong' on my window.
Took me ages to lick it off.
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we've been to Aberdeen, we hate the Hibs, they make us spew up, so make some noise,
the gorgie boys, for Hearts in Europe.
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
Offline
Posts: 64622
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #371 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 09:41:03 » |
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Went to Germany for the weekend and went in to a bar, i asked for dry martini and the bastards brought me out three.....
Thats actually quite good  |
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Red Frog
Not a Dave
Offline
Posts: 9047
Pondlife
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« Reply #372 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 09:45:26 » |
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My three-year-old came to me this morning, whining: "My big brother says I'm a telltale."
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sűr ŕ propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
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RJack
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Posts: 1449
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« Reply #373 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 09:53:45 » |
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Sat here watching Fatima Whitbread having a shower in the Jungle in her ultra skimpy bikini on I'm a Celebrity thinking please please don't get an erection...........but then she did
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Notts red
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Posts: 3146
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« Reply #374 on: Friday, November 25, 2011, 13:05:14 » |
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I saw a poor old lady fall over this morning, well I think she was poor as she only had Ł2.50 in her purse.
I woke up last night to see the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of the bed, at first I was afraid then I was petrified.
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