dear mexico red

[Mexicano Rojo]

here is a thread that is for you all to use if you have any problems or general enquiries about life and its great mysteries.

i will try and answer you all and impart some of the lessons i have learnt on lifes rich road of adventures.

[sonicyouth]

do you still think i'm a cunt?

[Mexicano Rojo]

dear sonic youth,

are you sure you havent already tried that spliffage yet? paranoia at such a young age can only be harmful. i advise you stand naked in front of a mirror and repeat 10 times "i am beautiful" do this daily and life will treat you with a spring in its step.

mexico red

[yeo]

Dear Mexico Red

Im am fast approaching middle age and find myself a single dog obsessed beer swilling fat man.Should I buy myself a wife on the internet or pay for sex down Manchester Rd?

Kind regards

Yeovil red

[sonicyouth]

dear mexico red

i am worried that i am becoming a stereotypical geek with gothic tendencies, what can i do to stop this before it's too late?

lots of love

sonicyouth

[Mexicano Rojo]

dear yeovil red

middle age should be looked upon with fondness not fear, embrace the biological changes that are encompassing your body and be proud.

save up your pennies and fly out to a third world country try south east asia or latin america, your beer swilling skills and fine physique will not be frowned upon but will be hailed as "sexy" and "cultural" young girls will throw themselves at you for free as they will see you as a good catch, thus saving you money and those embarrassing moments when you have paid for sex done the job and small talk is slightly stretched.

mexico red

[BrightonRed]

Dear Mexico Red

Im am fast approaching middle age and find myself a single dog obsessed beer swilling fat man.Should I buy myself a wife on the internet or pay for sex down Manchester Rd?

Kind regards

Yeovil red

Of course there's the lovely Aliona from Sumy, Ukraine.. Understands only simple written text with help of dictionary, needs most letters translated.
"I would like us to start a family full of happiness"
http://64.226.221.2/photo/o/ov3491c.jpg

[Mexicano Rojo]

dear sonic youth

there is a simple answer to your problem, if you are working class get a job at anchor butter, not only will you meet discernable young ladies who will save you from geekdom, but also squirty sex cream is free.

if you are middle class take up the drug ecstacy, under no circumstances try this if you are slightly working class. house music will become the chosen way and before you know it you will be getting sucked off by a girl named tabitha in a bohemian bedroom in lawn.

mexico red

[Simon Pieman]

Dear Mexico Red,

I think I have a serious addiction to caffeine - I can't stop consuming the stuff. The mornings are the worst time for me after sleeping off the 'high' from the day before I hit really bad 'lows' prompting me to consume more caffeine than ever before. It's like a vicious cycle for me.

Unfortunately everyone makes fun of my constant twitching and girls who would normally be jumping into my bed are put off by my coffee breath. I am constantly poor, scraping the barrell just to fund my next 'hit' of caffeine.

What am I to do?

Simon Pieman

[Piemonte]

Dear Mexico Red,

My hair is starting to fall out on the top of my head. As an elder gent are there any tips to stop said hair falling out or at least a way of concealing it for as long as possible?

Please help. I'm going to be as angsty as SY used to be if I go bald. I dont want to be a bald cunt.

Many thanks in advance

Piemonte

[janaage]

Dear Mexico Red,

The older I get the shorter my attention span seems to get, it seems that no matter what I do I just can't quite finish things off.  I get easily bored and so find it h

[Kinky Tom]

Dear Mexico Red,

The older I get the shorter my attention span seems to get, it seems that no matter what I do I just can't quite finish things off.  I get easily bored and so find it h

 

[sonicyouth]

I'm going to be as angsty as SY used to be

hooray!

[Piemonte]

Head back in that direction and you'll get the arse raping of a lifetime young man  

[Mexicano Rojo]

Dear Mexico Red,

I think I have a serious addiction to caffeine - I can't stop consuming the stuff. The mornings are the worst time for me after sleeping off the 'high' from the day before I hit really bad 'lows' prompting me to consume more caffeine than ever before. It's like a vicious cycle for me.

Unfortunately everyone makes fun of my constant twitching and girls who would normally be jumping into my bed are put off by my coffee breath. I am constantly poor, scraping the barrell just to fund my next 'hit' of caffeine.

What am I to do?

Simon Pieman

dear simon pieman
unfortunately most people are addicted to one thing or the other, it seems the cross you have to bare is caffine, each addiction has its positives and negatives, what you have to do is weigh them up.
my advice is throw yourself whole heartedly into  another more fun addiction, i suggest heroin or sex with prostitutes, not only will you meet a whole new circle of friends but you will rid yourself of that evil caffine cycle.

mexico red