Red and Proud
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« Reply #195 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 15:09:23 » |
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Many moons ago i worked in a butchers, remember them? Anyway often you'd find tiny little bits of meat stuck to the white bags you'd serve among other places. This one day a regular bloke took the white bag containing some mince IIRC. I took his £5 note and noticed a little tiny piece of meat had adhered itself to his hand so being the kind person that i am i tried to pick it off with my other hand. Turned out to be a stubborn little bit of meat until i realised it was a pale coloured mole or something.
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Sippo
Living in the 80s
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I ain't gettin on no plane fool
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« Reply #196 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 15:35:59 » |
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If there's a beer glass I like in a pub, I will take it.
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If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit...
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Red and Proud
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« Reply #197 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 15:36:28 » |
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Not so much of a confession just an example of how innocent comments have the potential to land you into some very, very deep and fucking scaldingly hot water.
Watching my lads football team one day. Their opponents had a girl up front and she was good, very good and causing our defence no end of problems with her pace and holding up the ball. After about ten minutes of play i turned to our coaches and said "that girl upfront is a bit tasty". I realised what i said imediately after i'd said it and realising what could be misconstrued to find them both laughing. One of them said yes she was good and then switched tactics ten minutes later to counter the threat. We did win that game after falling behind from an own goal after one of her crosses took a wicked deflection.
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« Last Edit: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 19:19:55 by Red and Proud »
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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« Reply #198 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 16:42:49 » |
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We're going to need some photographic proof, soon.
Of my director's box sign? |
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EldeneRed
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« Reply #199 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 17:52:36 » |
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Of my director's box sign?
I believe you, but why not? Pics always improve a thread. (That could be a really double edged sword with this one) |
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Boy About Town
Pricko
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Often outnumbered, never outgunned.
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« Reply #200 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 18:01:08 » |
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If there's a beer glass I like in a pub, I will take it.
Once stole a pint glass from the pub at Lords and managed to bring it home to Swindon, nice glass... Marstons - has etchings of cricket players on the sides, at the bottom of the glass it says 'run out'. Think that was the USP. |
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Now, ain't that just like me?
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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« Reply #201 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 20:01:07 » |
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I believe you, but why not? Pics always improve a thread.
(That could be a really double edged sword with this one)
My brother is a chippy and he did a bit of a refurb a few years back when Fitton and co took over. It was going in the bin I think, but he nabbed it for me. |
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suttonred
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« Reply #202 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 20:25:14 » |
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Nice. I'll dig the magazine out, its here somewhere. But are you really sure you want to see me in a bra? And you might be thinking, could be anyone, but enough on here would be able to pick me out!
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EldeneRed
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« Reply #203 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 21:14:25 » |
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My brother is a chippy and he did a bit of a refurb a few years back when Fitton and co took over. It was going in the bin I think, but he nabbed it for me.
That's impressive for sure. Some great history there. Pictures included people of this thread! |
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StfcRusty
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« Reply #204 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 21:57:12 » |
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After a Thursday night out in Harding's (free drinks between 8 and 9 and a free hot dog at chucking out), I was staying at my mate's parent's house (on the sofa).
I woke up in the middle of the night on their kitchen floor with my trousers around my ankles, still very much pissed. I turned on the light to find I'd taken a steaming dump in the middle of said kitchen floor. (No photographic evidence available)
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suttonred
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« Reply #205 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 22:00:17 » |
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WTF!
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Ells
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I am 32 now
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« Reply #206 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 22:35:32 » |
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What the fuck is the beverage of choice in this forum, Turpentine? I've been very, very drunk in my life but I've always managed to shit in a toilet. Far too many of these stories seem to involve misplaced faeces  |
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If Don Rogers were alive today, he'd be turning in his grave
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suttonred
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« Reply #207 on: Sunday, November 8, 2015, 23:25:09 » |
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Shagged a virgin on the beach in Greece - red sand afterwards
Couldnt get it up for a hooker when me and a mate paid for one to come to his house
Reading back through and saw your one and only here olly!. Similar one, first hols away was Benidorm when I was 19 with 3 mates. Two of us pulled a couple of sorts from Scunthorpe first night, woke in the morning to a red bed. Made my mate take them down the lift and get rid whilst I swapped bedsheets. No way was I sleeping like that for 13 more nights. Did spend the rest of the hols hiding though. |
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Combe Down
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« Reply #208 on: Monday, November 9, 2015, 07:07:41 » |
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Reading back through and saw your one and only here olly!. Similar one, first hols away was Benidorm when I was 19 with 3 mates. Two of us pulled a couple of sorts from Scunthorpe first night, woke in the morning to a red bed. Made my mate take them down the lift and get rid whilst I swapped bedsheets. No way was I sleeping like that for 13 more nights. Did spend the rest of the hols hiding though.
Did the Lads from Scunthorpe take your anal virginity? Maybe they'll be back for more on Saturday. |
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EldeneRed
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« Reply #209 on: Monday, November 9, 2015, 11:24:58 » |
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Losing my virginity happened in two phases. We had an executive suite hotel room, just had a date for a fancy dinner and I did the hiding gifts with notes thing.
We showered together, I gave her a massage, then we tried (and failed) to do the lovemaking, it was too painful for her (also a virgin) so we stopped.
Next morning we woke up, and did it for 3 and a half hours, only stopping because the maid was knocking the door down. Blood on the sheets.... There was a little. I have no idea why you guy's girls all painted the sheets red.
Were you all riding the crimson tide or something?
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