In the style of song or poem or a rap:
Here's one for Dave blackcurrant.
ahem.
Dave is silly and dave is gay.
He likes to bum his hamster every single day.
The only good thing is, is that he supports swindon town,
He's a bit like rockin robin,
A freaky demented clown.
Thats whats going down.
Thankyou, Thankyou very much.