High grade tramp lager

[otanswell]

I'll always doff my cap to a man who doesn't shy away from a good robust can of 9% shit. I enjoy a decent expensive bottle of XO as much as the next man, but I don't fuck about down the offy when there's serious boozing to be done.

As people seem to rock up round my gaff most weekends after the local establishments have kicked everyone out, I've started filling the fridge with pure tramp lager for late-night consumption. It's cost effective, and no-one goes home sober.

Much like a complex pinot, there is, of course, a variety for every occasion;


- Spesh: Notting Hill Carnival fare only these days, purely for tradition. Priced itself out of the lower-tier market, I've seen cans on sale for £2+, daylight robbery. The original market leader though and must be respected as a true visionary product. "Like beer? Like getting drunk? Well check out this handy time-saving device, you revolting, destitute cunt!"

- Super T: Turns you into an invincible hurricane of unstoppable, raw might. Watch the dosage though, 5 cans+ is edging into very murky waters indeed and severe personal injuries become a serious concern. You fear absolutely nothing, and bow down to no man. Until you're on your knees throwing up your stomach lining, but that's a small price to pay for temporary invincibility.

- Skol Super: Personal favourite, just £1.30 a can, 9%, that's a pretty sound return on your hard-earned, even Martin Lewis would be forced to endorse this volatile syrup. I happen to think it's the most drinkable of all the 'supers', almost too drinkable. Also carries a serious injury warning, possibly by virtue of it's (relative) drinkability. A bad mis-judgement with this stuff at the age of 16 left me shambling out of A+E with about 25 stitches.

- Kestrel Super: Not much to set this apart from the others, one of the cheaper entries, but has the significance of being one half of the infamous concoction; 'Kezzer Diamond'. Half a pint of Kestrel Super, half a pint of Diamond White. Beyond lunacy, 90% chance of arrest. For a few hours you know what it's like to have Charlie Bronson's brain. The hostage-taking British criminal that is, as opposed to the film star. Or maybe both? Yes, probably both.

Can't think of any others right now, but a special mention to the discontinued king of all super-strength lagers, the legendary FORCE 10. 99p a can, straight 10%, unbeatable. Disappeared from the shelves when I was about 18 sadly, I never had the honour of legally purchasing a can of this exquisite nectar.

[Peter Gibbons]

Not strictly in the same category, but Gold Label barley wine must be worth a mention.  You could consume it with a knife and fork, awful stuff.

[otanswell]

Ah yes, that stuff is vile.

[wiggy]

K Cider - only(!) about 8% but only about 80p per can.

[janaage]

I'll always doff my cap to a man who doesn't shy away from a good robust can of 9% shit. I enjoy a decent expensive bottle of XO as much as the next man, but I don't fuck about down the offy when there's serious boozing to be done.

As people seem to rock up round my gaff most weekends after the local establishments have kicked everyone out, I've started filling the fridge with pure tramp lager for late-night consumption. It's cost effective, and no-one goes home sober.

Much like a complex pinot, there is, of course, a variety for every occasion;


- Spesh: Notting Hill Carnival fare only these days, purely for tradition. Priced itself out of the lower-tier market, I've seen cans on sale for £2+, daylight robbery. The original market leader though and must be respected as a true visionary product. "Like beer? Like getting drunk? Well check out this handy time-saving device, you revolting, destitute cunt!"

- Super T: Turns you into an invincible hurricane of unstoppable, raw might. Watch the dosage though, 5 cans+ is edging into very murky waters indeed and severe personal injuries become a serious concern. You fear absolutely nothing, and bow down to no man. Until you're on your knees throwing up your stomach lining, but that's a small price to pay for temporary invincibility.

- Skol Super: Personal favourite, just £1.30 a can, 9%, that's a pretty sound return on your hard-earned, even Martin Lewis would be forced to endorse this volatile syrup. I happen to think it's the most drinkable of all the 'supers', almost too drinkable. Also carries a serious injury warning, possibly by virtue of it's (relative) drinkability. A bad mis-judgement with this stuff at the age of 16 left me shambling out of A+E with about 25 stitches.

- Kestrel Super: Not much to set this apart from the others, one of the cheaper entries, but has the significance of being one half of the infamous concoction; 'Kezzer Diamond'. Half a pint of Kestrel Super, half a pint of Diamond White. Beyond lunacy, 90% chance of arrest. For a few hours you know what it's like to have Charlie Bronson's brain. The hostage-taking British criminal that is, as opposed to the film star. Or maybe both? Yes, probably both.

Can't think of any others right now, but a special mention to the discontinued king of all super-strength lagers, the legendary FORCE 10. 99p a can, straight 10%, unbeatable. Disappeared from the shelves when I was about 18 sadly, I never had the honour of legally purchasing a can of this exquisite nectar.

Great post, reminds me of an afternoon many years ago when a mate of mine and I were sat round my parents house with nothing planned. We got on to the subject of super strength tramp beer and realised we'd never tried it. So a trip down to the offy to purchase a couple of 4 packs.

Most disappointingly when we got back home and I'd sampled a few sips I realised I couldn't stand the stuff and had to give up. Lightweight I know, but that was it for me.

What a gash post.

[Arriba]

K Cider - only(!) about 8% but only about 80p per can.

this was my clubbing drink of choice in the early 90s  along with Diamond white. Both were popular drinks back then.

[Flashheart]

In Malasia it's often the norm.

In some restaurants you need to tell them that you want normal strength stuff otherwise they will bring you tramp juice. I got really pissed on 4 pints of Guinness once, I had no idea at the time what I was drinking was something nuts like 13%.

[chalkies_shorts]

this was my clubbing drink of choice in the early 90s  along with Diamond white. Both were popular drinks back then.

I thought the idea was to get that stuff down a bird not yourself

[Arriba]

I thought the idea was to get that stuff down a bird not yourself

everyone seemed to drink it in the brunel rooms. Lads and lasses

[jutty274]

Before the Brunel on nappy nights was a quick bottle of Thunderbirds from the offy in Euclid Street then in the Park behind to drink it then onto the Brunel.
Now thunderbirds was vile but was about £1.20 for 1.5 litre bottle.

[Arriba]

Thunderbirds, now that stuff got many a greendown teen kid plastered. There was red and blue if I remember rightly. Friday nights at Westlea park or the mud hills in toothill would see plenty wrecked on that stuff. Mad dog 20 20 was another drink for the kids. Scots Mac too.

[Ardiles]

I'll always doff my cap to a man who doesn't shy away from a good robust can....of this exquisite nectar.

Take a bow!  I have not laughed like that for a long time.  Outstanding post!  Puts all the previous beer threads to shame.

[jonny72]

this was my clubbing drink of choice in the early 90s  along with Diamond white. Both were popular drinks back then.

Diamond White was only popular with girls. Blokes drank Holsten Pills.

[otanswell]

Take a bow!  I have not laughed like that for a long time.  Outstanding post!  Puts all the previous beer threads to shame.

I aim to please

[suttonred]

I'll always doff my cap to a man who doesn't shy away from a good robust can of 9% shit. I enjoy a decent expensive bottle of XO as much as the next man, but I don't fuck about down the offy when there's serious boozing to be done.

As people seem to rock up round my gaff most weekends after the local establishments have kicked everyone out, I've started filling the fridge with pure tramp lager for late-night consumption. It's cost effective, and no-one goes home sober.

Much like a complex pinot, there is, of course, a variety for every occasion;


- Spesh: Notting Hill Carnival fare only these days, purely for tradition. Priced itself out of the lower-tier market, I've seen cans on sale for £2+, daylight robbery. The original market leader though and must be respected as a true visionary product. "Like beer? Like getting drunk? Well check out this handy time-saving device, you revolting, destitute cunt!"

- Super T: Turns you into an invincible hurricane of unstoppable, raw might. Watch the dosage though, 5 cans+ is edging into very murky waters indeed and severe personal injuries become a serious concern. You fear absolutely nothing, and bow down to no man. Until you're on your knees throwing up your stomach lining, but that's a small price to pay for temporary invincibility.

- Skol Super: Personal favourite, just £1.30 a can, 9%, that's a pretty sound return on your hard-earned, even Martin Lewis would be forced to endorse this volatile syrup. I happen to think it's the most drinkable of all the 'supers', almost too drinkable. Also carries a serious injury warning, possibly by virtue of it's (relative) drinkability. A bad mis-judgement with this stuff at the age of 16 left me shambling out of A+E with about 25 stitches.

- Kestrel Super: Not much to set this apart from the others, one of the cheaper entries, but has the significance of being one half of the infamous concoction; 'Kezzer Diamond'. Half a pint of Kestrel Super, half a pint of Diamond White. Beyond lunacy, 90% chance of arrest. For a few hours you know what it's like to have Charlie Bronson's brain. The hostage-taking British criminal that is, as opposed to the film star. Or maybe both? Yes, probably both.

Can't think of any others right now, but a special mention to the discontinued king of all super-strength lagers, the legendary FORCE 10. 99p a can, straight 10%, unbeatable. Disappeared from the shelves when I was about 18 sadly, I never had the honour of legally purchasing a can of this exquisite nectar.

No danger of me having a can of anything left next saturday then! Jeez what have i done, god help me.