How Do You Classify Being Pissed

[Rich Pullen]

Wehn yuo cnat wirte prpoer no teh fourm.

When that sentence makes pefect grammatical sense.

[nochee]

When u wake up on coate water diving board with a allen n harris for sale sign.

Please please please tell me that you, or someone you know has done this. Please let it be true.

Oh how i wish it was me.

[RobertT]

My tell tale sign is when I begin offering to buy drinks for people.

[yeo]

I dont seem able to get to the point of no return anymore,my homing beacon switches on way before that these days

[chalkies_shorts]

When you wake up and the fire brigade are cutting you out of a tree after you've innocently walked home thruogh Lawn Woods, stopped for a waz and fallen into the tree and got your arm lodged in it so as you can't move.

[spacey]

I'm going back a few years, but throwing up in my bed and deciding that the best course of action is scooping up the puke in my hands and throwing it down the toilet. Unfortunately I lost my balance in the hallway and fell into my parents room and lobbed the spew all up their wall.

[Mexicano Rojo]

puking then eating your puke.

[herthab]

When you wake up with scratches all over your arms, with no memory of why.

(Only to be told by your mates later that they dared you to climb up an electrical pylon, past the barbed wire in the middle, and you did)

When you wake up with a cut hand and no memory of why.

(Only to be told later that you headbutted your mate, punched your boss, got kicked out of your works Christmas do and punched a glass door, smashing it in the process, as you were kicked out)

I would like to add that both of these incidents happened years ago. 99% of the time now I'm a responsible drinker and usually when I get drunk I fall asleep.

[Sippo]

When its chucking down with rain, its cold, you only have a t-shirt on and you think you're strong and hard enough to walk home from Old town to priory vale which is probably a good 7 miles!!

[BANGKOK RED]

When you insist that you are 'man enough' to eat a Chicken Phal, and tell the waiter to fuck-off after he offers you some yoghurt to cool it down when he see's you struggling.

Oh, and finishing it of course.

[dell boy]

I got sent to bed after I typed that yesterday and didn't wake up until 11.30pm - I explained last night I was just very tired ....

I think she believes me!!!

[Gazza's Fat Mate]

Coming home, pissing on the sofa and then telling your g/f she is a fucking whore when she tells you to stop. Falling asleep in bed whilst your g/f cleans up said piss. Then waking up in the morning without remmbering any of it and wondering why g/f is pissed of with you.

[Dazzza]

When you wake up and the fire brigade are cutting you out of a tree after you've innocently walked home thruogh Lawn Woods, stopped for a waz and fallen into the tree and got your arm lodged in it so as you can't move.

Is that true Chalkie?

I had a flatmate who was a keen cyclist and he went for a Sunday morning 6am ride absolutely shit faced.  24 hours later he was found with his wedged in a tree on a mountain  road and had to be cut out by the fire brigade.

I know I'm in trouble when turboshandies sound like a good idea.  That or closing an eye to read anything.

[chalkies_shorts]

Yes, its true and I had my nudger hanging out all the time as I couldn't reach it to tuck it away.  Also pissed all down my suit when I fell. I was lucky when they cut me from the tree their cutting equipment didn't slip. It made a nice sight for all the pissheads walking late through the Woods. It was about 20 years ago and made the local radio - "we've heard of the fire brigade rescuing cats from a tree, now we've got a bloke stuck in one."
I will add that it was my arm stuck in a tree, I was not trying to roger said tree, althuogh at that time it probabhly would have been the best offer I'd have had for a while.
After that I was nicknames splinter for a while. 

[billy the fish]

when i start chatting up older women