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WR5
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« Reply #555 on: Friday, November 30, 2012, 22:00:36 » |
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 How did Bob Marley like his doughnuts?.....wi Jammin.
How about Bunny Wailer? He liked wi jammin too
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Flashheart
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« Reply #556 on: Thursday, December 6, 2012, 08:34:27 » |
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I've just been diagnosed with colour blindness. It came completely out of the green.
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Red Frog
Not a Dave
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Posts: 9047
Pondlife
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« Reply #557 on: Thursday, December 6, 2012, 10:10:46 » |
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If your feet smell and your nose is running, you may be built upside-down.
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sûr à propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
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Flashheart
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« Reply #558 on: Wednesday, December 19, 2012, 10:55:58 » |
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I once had an Indian girlfriend that asked me to give her a facial. I almost came on the spot.
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Flashheart
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« Reply #559 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 08:36:32 » |
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Wen't out last night and promised the misses I'll be back by midnight. It was about 3 AM I finally arrived back home.
Just as I got in the fucking cuckoo clock 'cuckoo-ed' 3 times. 'Fuck it', I thought. 'The cuckoo clock has busted me'. Thinking quickly though I cuckoo-ed myself another 9 times. Genius, she'll have heard me coming in and thought I got in at 12.
This morning though she said to me that we need a new cuckoo clock. 'What's wrong with the one we have?', I asked. Well she said, last night when you go home it cuckoo-ed three times, said 'Oh for fuck's sake' then cuckoo-ed twice again, cleared it's throat cuckoo-ed another 3 times, fell over the table and laughed, cuckoo-ed twice more, farted and laughed then cuckoo-ed two more times.
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Batch
Not a Batch
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Posts: 57740
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« Reply #560 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 09:11:26 » |
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Cracker jokes: what do you get if you eat your Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis
What do you call a Russian snooker player? Inov the red.
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Amir
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« Reply #561 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 09:20:03 » |
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We had one out of a cracker the other day: Why did the criminal have a bath? And the other half's six year old nephew said, 'because he was black.' His Mum said 'bit racist' and he could sense something was up, so he explained that criminals wear black clothes.  In case anyone cares the correct punchline is, to make a clean getaway. |
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4D
That was definately my last game, honest
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Posts: 23501
I can't bear it 🙄
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« Reply #562 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 09:39:19 » |
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What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?
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suttonred
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Posts: 12510
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« Reply #563 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 09:41:17 » |
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What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?
Really? |
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Batch
Not a Batch
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Posts: 57740
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« Reply #564 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 09:42:11 » |
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What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?
Lowering the tone. |
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4D
That was definately my last game, honest
Offline
Posts: 23501
I can't bear it 🙄
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« Reply #565 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 09:44:49 » |
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Seasonal and cracker joke level
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64622
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #566 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 10:07:47 » |
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Snow joke
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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4D
That was definately my last game, honest
Offline
Posts: 23501
I can't bear it 🙄
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« Reply #567 on: Thursday, December 20, 2012, 10:10:07 » |
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I snow
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Peter Gibbons
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Posts: 1110
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« Reply #568 on: Saturday, January 12, 2013, 02:40:46 » |
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Just read this on Twitter
What is pink, white and sits in corners while having pizza stuck on the top layered part of the skeleton protecting it outside?
A baby rat in a bag of salt with hot cheese on it’s face!
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It's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care.
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ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
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Posts: 3857
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« Reply #569 on: Saturday, January 12, 2013, 12:10:03 » |
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And...?
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
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