jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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« Reply #465 on: Thursday, March 1, 2012, 19:30:15 » |
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All these jokes about PC David Rathband have to stop. A man has died for goodness sake, I don't even find any of them Raoul Moatly funny.
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leefer
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« Reply #466 on: Thursday, March 1, 2012, 19:32:42 » |
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All these jokes about PC David Rathband have to stop. A man has died for goodness sake, I don't even find any of them Raoul Moatly funny.
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jimmy_onions
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« Reply #467 on: Thursday, March 1, 2012, 19:34:00 » |
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When my wife told me Davy Jones of the monkees has died I thought she was joking....but then I saw her face, now I'm a bereaver...
Or,
At last I've managed to find my girlfiends g spot....Who would have thought her sister had it all the time!
or
I saw a girl on the bus today who had a black eye. I was going to say something but its pretty obvious she doesnt listen.
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Ginginho
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« Reply #468 on: Thursday, March 8, 2012, 16:19:05 » |
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My wife just announced that we would soon need to start buying nappies.
She's not pregnant, her arse muscles have packed up.
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Bewster
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Posts: 4004
We fucking love you Gumbo!
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« Reply #469 on: Thursday, March 8, 2012, 17:03:33 » |
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Hill Billy (Oxford Fan) goes to his local pharmacy and asks, "Do you have any contraception for my 14 year daughter ?"
to which the pharmacist replies "your 14 year old daughter?? Is she sexually active then"
"hell no, she just lays there like her ma"
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59383
Things can only get better
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« Reply #470 on: Friday, March 9, 2012, 10:11:16 » |
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I went to the doctors yesterday and said to the doctor ''Doc i think im going deaf''
The doctor says ''Ok can you describe the symptoms?''
I said '' Marge has got blue hair and Homer iss fat''
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Notts red
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« Reply #471 on: Friday, March 9, 2012, 12:42:09 » |
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My wife has started copying Foderingham, I haven't scored for months.
Wife: " football, football, football, that's all you ever think about, if you said you weren't going Saturday I'd probably die of shock "
Husband: " it's no point trying to bribe me "
My wife said to me, " I can always tell when your lying, your lips move "
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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« Reply #472 on: Friday, March 9, 2012, 16:42:18 » |
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I'm going to Kony Island on holiday. The kids club is great!
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Notts red
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« Reply #473 on: Friday, March 9, 2012, 17:01:37 » |
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I'm going to Kony Island on holiday. The kids club is great!
Watched the Kony2012 video last night and can see why people want him arrested. It only tells one side of the story though and doesn't mention part of the monies raised will also be used to fund the Ugandan army which isn't exactly ideal. |
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mexico red
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Posts: 11748
Demasiado no es demasiado
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« Reply #474 on: Friday, March 9, 2012, 18:13:43 » |
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I know time travel jokes aren't very funny but I heard a great one tomorrow.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12519
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« Reply #475 on: Friday, March 9, 2012, 21:41:36 » |
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Watched the Kony2012 video last night and can see why people want him arrested. It only tells one side of the story though and doesn't mention part of the monies raised will also be used to fund the Ugandan army which isn't exactly ideal.
I don't get it. |
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59383
Things can only get better
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« Reply #476 on: Saturday, March 24, 2012, 17:59:49 » |
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Supporting Liverpool is like asking your parents for a brand new, 50" plasma TV for Christmas, and on Christmas morning opening your presents to find an old TV from the 60's for your parents to say "it's still good, it's got a lot of history"
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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WR5
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« Reply #477 on: Friday, April 6, 2012, 11:22:44 » |
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A robber bursts into a bank and shouts "give me the money ".
A brave customer runs up, pulls his mask off and says "you cant rob the bank now ive seen your face ". The robber shoots him dead and shouts "anyone else see my face?".
Theres a few moments silence before a voice says " That cunt in the Oxford top had a look!"
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Flashheart
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« Reply #478 on: Sunday, April 15, 2012, 11:05:11 » |
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How embarrassing for N. Korea that they couldn't launch that rocket.
After all, it's hardly brain surgery.
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pericarp
is a nice chap
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« Reply #479 on: Sunday, April 15, 2012, 17:50:09 » |
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Apparently that was enough money to feed their country for a year. 800 million just blown into pieces
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