Luci
Offline
Posts: 10862
Fatbury's Stalker
|
 |
« on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 08:57:59 » |
|
NICKNAMES * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY * A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. * A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale
BATHROOMS * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS * A woman has the last word in any argument. * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS * Women love cats. * Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secretfears and hopes and dreams. * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY * Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
* What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now. * What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
 |
« Reply #1 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:02:45 » |
|
Decent single men don't exist, they are already married and don't do affairs or they are gay.
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Luci
Offline
Posts: 10862
Fatbury's Stalker
|
 |
« Reply #2 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:03:40 » |
|
Decent single men don't exist, they are already married and don't do affairs or they are gay. Ever the optimist aren't we Birdy 
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
 |
« Reply #3 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:04:32 » |
|
yep. being nice went out the window on saturday when you lot bullied me :|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
McLovin
|
 |
« Reply #4 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:04:55 » |
|
Basically, you lot are all hard work, and hardly worth the effort... that's how i read it.
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
 |
« Reply #5 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:07:00 » |
|
Do you take time to get to know us?  
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Whits
Morphined Up
Offline
Posts: 8136
|
 |
« Reply #6 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:08:24 » |
|
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
so true 
|
|
|
Logged
|
Plays in midfield and his name is Tommy Miller, signed him from Huddersfield his name is Tommy Miller, first touch is average but his second is a killer, heeeeeey Tommy Miller!
|
|
|
Whits
Morphined Up
Offline
Posts: 8136
|
 |
« Reply #7 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:08:52 » |
|
bird/lady, did you leave a hoodie in my car? if so i've burnt it
|
|
|
Logged
|
Plays in midfield and his name is Tommy Miller, signed him from Huddersfield his name is Tommy Miller, first touch is average but his second is a killer, heeeeeey Tommy Miller!
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
 |
« Reply #8 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:10:02 » |
|
bird/lady, did you leave a hoodie in my car? if so i've burnt it That was mine you cunt :x you'd better bring it Tuesday or i'll get cold 
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
quinnismyhero
Offline
Posts: 397
|
 |
« Reply #9 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:38:16 » |
|
Basically, you lot are all hard work, and hardly worth the effort... that's how i read it.
Agreed Do you take time to get to know us?   Whats the point if you're hard work and hardly worth the effort
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Bushey Boy
Offline
Posts: 8351
|
 |
« Reply #10 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 10:33:05 » |
|
CATS * Women love cats. * Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
This is also very true!
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
blinkpip
His Infernal Majesty
Offline
Posts: 6761
|
 |
« Reply #11 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 18:17:15 » |
|
I like to kick cats 
|
|
|
Logged
|
ee the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
I annoyed Yeovilred 28/01/06
|
|
|
Johno
Offline
Posts: 5927
|
 |
« Reply #12 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 18:49:34 » |
|
the nickname one is very true...and the cat thing is too...cat isn't a pet people.
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Sussex
|
 |
« Reply #13 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 19:13:32 » |
|
DRESSING UP * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. And court appearances :|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Spud
|
 |
« Reply #14 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 19:34:00 » |
|
CATS * Women love cats. * Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
This is also very true!  :--
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|