Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: How Men and Women Differ  (Read 4377 times)
Luci

Offline Offline

Posts: 10862


Fatbury's Stalker




Ignore
« on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 08:57:59 »

NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,
secretfears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

* What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to
clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't
do the laundry now.
* What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah,
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah,
blah, NOW
Logged
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream

Offline Offline

Posts: 10673

C U Next Tuesday!




Ignore
« Reply #1 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:02:45 »

Decent single men don't exist, they are already married and don't do affairs or they are gay.
Logged
Luci

Offline Offline

Posts: 10862


Fatbury's Stalker




Ignore
« Reply #2 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:03:40 »

Quote from: "STFCBird"
Decent single men don't exist, they are already married and don't do affairs or they are gay.


Ever the optimist aren't we Birdy  
Logged
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream

Offline Offline

Posts: 10673

C U Next Tuesday!




Ignore
« Reply #3 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:04:32 »

yep. being nice went out the window on saturday when you lot bullied me  :|
Logged
McLovin

« Reply #4 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:04:55 »

Basically, you lot are all hard work, and hardly worth the effort... that's how i read it.
Logged
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream

Offline Offline

Posts: 10673

C U Next Tuesday!




Ignore
« Reply #5 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:07:00 »

Do you take time to get to know us?Huh?Huh?
Logged
Whits
Morphined Up

Offline Offline

Posts: 8136




« Reply #6 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:08:24 »

Quote

* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


so true  Cheesy
Logged

Plays in midfield and his name is Tommy Miller,
signed him from Huddersfield his name is Tommy Miller,
first touch is average but his second is a killer,
heeeeeey Tommy Miller!
Whits
Morphined Up

Offline Offline

Posts: 8136




« Reply #7 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:08:52 »

bird/lady, did you leave a hoodie in my car? if so i've burnt it
Logged

Plays in midfield and his name is Tommy Miller,
signed him from Huddersfield his name is Tommy Miller,
first touch is average but his second is a killer,
heeeeeey Tommy Miller!
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream

Offline Offline

Posts: 10673

C U Next Tuesday!




Ignore
« Reply #8 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:10:02 »

Quote from: "Whits"
bird/lady, did you leave a hoodie in my car? if so i've burnt it


That was mine you cunt  :x

you'd better bring it Tuesday or i'll get cold  Crying
Logged
quinnismyhero

Offline Offline

Posts: 397





Ignore
« Reply #9 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 09:38:16 »

Quote

Basically, you lot are all hard work, and hardly worth the effort... that's how i read it.



Agreed

Quote

Do you take time to get to know us?Huh?Huh?


Whats the point if you're hard work and hardly worth the effort
Logged
Bushey Boy

Offline Offline

Posts: 8351





Ignore
« Reply #10 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 10:33:05 »

CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


This is also very true!
Logged

blinkpip
His Infernal Majesty

Offline Offline

Posts: 6761



WWW

Ignore
« Reply #11 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 18:17:15 »

I like to kick cats  Cool
Logged

ee the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

I annoyed Yeovilred 28/01/06
Johno

Offline Offline

Posts: 5927




Ignore
« Reply #12 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 18:49:34 »

the nickname one is very true...and the cat thing is too...cat isn't a pet people.
Logged
Sussex

« Reply #13 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 19:13:32 »

Quote from: "STFCLady"
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


And court appearances  :|
Logged
Spud

« Reply #14 on: Monday, August 7, 2006, 19:34:00 »

Quote from: "Bushey Boy"
CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


This is also very true!


   Yes  :--
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
Print
Jump to: