Dear Mr Employer...

[Minnesota Fats]

Minnesota Fats will be unable to fulfil his duties with any skill or enthusiasm this week due to the fact his mind will be on the forthcoming Swindon Town FC match at home to Port Vale on Saturday 28th April.
M.Fats wishes to express his sincerest apologies that he couldn't give a f*** what happens at work this week as he also has a small wager with the bookmaker Mr Coral that Swindon Town would win League 2, a bet he made back in July '11.
Seeing as you pay Mr Fats peanuts as it is, he in actual fact couldn't give a damn about any warnings or potential suspension due to lack of effort or care.
Any work-related questions or tasks posed to Minnesota during the course of the week will be met with measured renditions of: "PAOLO DI CANIO, PAOLO DI CANIO..." or "WE ARE SWINDON, WE'RE TOP OF THE LEAGUE".

Yours in (non)expectation....
Minnesota Fats
Aged 32 and three quarters.

[wobby]

Dear Mr Fats

As your employer I not surprised by this attitude, as I too am thinking about this coming Saturday in the hope of seeing STFC crowned Champions, and myself couldn't give a shit about work this week either.

 

Your Boss

[Ardiles]

The FTSE is heading for a crash tomorrow morning, and no mistake.  This is how recessions start.

[woolster]

Minnesota Fats will be unable to fulfil his duties with any skill or enthusiasm this week due to the fact his mind will be on the forthcoming Swindon Town FC match at home to Port Vale on Saturday 28th April.
M.Fats wishes to express his sincerest apologies that he couldn't give a f*** what happens at work this week as he also has a small wager with the bookmaker Mr Coral that Swindon Town would win League 2, a bet he made back in July '11.
Seeing as you pay Mr Fats peanuts as it is, he in actual fact couldn't give a damn about any warnings or potential suspension due to lack of effort or care.
Any work-related questions or tasks posed to Minnesota during the course of the week will be met with measured renditions of: "PAOLO DI CANIO, PAOLO DI CANIO..." or "WE ARE SWINDON, WE'RE TOP OF THE LEAGUE".

if i was your boss i would fire you on the spot for mentioning this bloody song

[Only Me]

if i was your boss i would fire you on the spot for mentioning this bloody song

You miserable git 

[corner]

Minnesota Fats will be unable to fulfil his duties with any skill or enthusiasm this week due to the fact his mind will be on the forthcoming Swindon Town FC match at home to Port Vale on Saturday 28th April.
M.Fats wishes to express his sincerest apologies that he couldn't give a f*** what happens at work this week as he also has a small wager with the bookmaker Mr Coral that Swindon Town would win League 2, a bet he made back in July '11.
Seeing as you pay Mr Fats peanuts as it is, he in actual fact couldn't give a damn about any warnings or potential suspension due to lack of effort or care.
Any work-related questions or tasks posed to Minnesota during the course of the week will be met with measured renditions of: "PAOLO DI CANIO, PAOLO DI CANIO..." or "WE ARE SWINDON, WE DO WHAT WE WANT".

Yours in (non)expectation....
Minnesota Fats
Aged 32 and three quarters.

Thats better

[Matchworn Shirts]

Dear Mrs Employeress,

Firstly may I begin by suggesting you hurry up and get yourself a good rodgering, because the mood you have been in for the last two months suggests you are in dire need of one.

Secondly you mentioned no holidays for UK management for the next 6 to 8 weeks because we have to train new staff, which includes the period when Swindon are due to win the league. That for me is no problem, but I may have (please delete as applicable or as most feasible) a bad cough/the shits/headache/cantbefuckeditis on or around the Friday,  weekend and subsequent Mondays of the 28th of April & 5th May - all of these illnesses require me to return to the UK for expert treatment from  Dr P Di Canio.

Should you require for a doctors note, a piece of paper with (handwritten) "We Are Swindon, We Do What We Want" will of course be forthcoming.

viele grüße
yout disinterested employee

[Crispy]

Dear Job Center,

Hi 


Love Crispy xooxoox

[Notts red]

Dear Job Center,

Hi  


Love Crispy xooxoox

I heard they need more Stewards for Saturday Crispy   something about trying to stop a pitch invasion  

[Crispy]

I heard they need more Stewards for Saturday Crispy   something about trying to stop a pitch invasion  

I reckon i'd be a class steward 

[Samdy Gray]

The FTSE is heading for a crash tomorrow morning, and no mistake.  This is how recessions start.

You weren't wrong. I didn't realise how many bankers were Town fans.

[Matchworn Shirts]

I didn't realise how many bankers were Town fans.

you are one letter out with that statement