nearly fisty cuffs with a neighbour

[Arriba]

fuck it.i'm off with me swan vestas then

[Arriba]

Are you in or around Swindon, arriba?

yep.

[BANGKOK RED]

Tie Tan's down to a bus stop by his lips, and then burn them.

[jonny72]

I'd go with the diffuse the situation approach. If it escalates then there's a good chance it will only make things worse for your kid and as you've said you can't be there all the time. Not sure going to the police or the school or whoever at this point will help, might be making something out of nothing. It's easy to forget that kids get in to arguments and disputes with each other all the time, and that they normally sort them out themselves quickly and the parents getting involved only make things worse.

Maybe go back round their house when you're calm, say if your kid does anything they're to tell you immediately so you can deal with it. But if they try taking things in to their own hands they'll have you to do deal with. Don't get in to an argument and don't take your kid with you. Maybe apologise for your reaction previously as well, even if you didn't do anything wrong it will help keep things calm. Make sure your kid isn't worried as well and if she is then make sure she stays near your house and you take her to and from school until things are better.

I'm no expert so take my advice with a pinch of salt, but getting in to a punch up over it isn't going to solve anything.

[Arriba]

I'd go with the diffuse the situation approach. If it escalates then there's a good chance it will only make things worse for your kid and as you've said you can't be there all the time. Not sure going to the police or the school or whoever at this point will help, might be making something out of nothing. It's easy to forget that kids get in to arguments and disputes with each other all the time, and that they normally sort them out themselves quickly and the parents getting involved only make things worse.

Maybe go back round their house when you're calm, say if your kid does anything they're to tell you immediately so you can deal with it. But if they try taking things in to their own hands they'll have you to do deal with. Don't get in to an argument and don't take your kid with you. Maybe apologise for your reaction previously as well, even if you didn't do anything wrong it will help keep things calm. Make sure your kid isn't worried as well and if she is then make sure she stays near your house and you take her to and from school until things are better.

I'm no expert so take my advice with a pinch of salt, but getting in to a punch up over it isn't going to solve anything.

i tried to difuse it from the outset.
my daughter doesn't know the girl.
it's gone way beyond the discussion stage.
we parted on fuck off status

[Nomoreheroes]

i think that he is trying to say somehow that you should apologise. It gives them them the opportunity to accept the apology and back down without feeling bad/defeated.

In this part of the world it is known as 'giving face'

it is something that I personally disagree with. I could start a thread about 'face'

Sorry for the delay....

No, I don't mean apologise. What I mean is look for common ground. Change the focus of the argument.....Maybe talk or write to them acknowleging that you both got off on the wrong foot. Highlight the fact that the thing that you both want is to make sure that neither of your daughters are intimidated. Furthermore, acknowledge that you both want to find out what happened. Tell them that you would be angry if your daughter were involved in something like this (As you would be if she was, but you know she isn't - You don't need to say that) and reassure them that you would take action if she were (Again, from what you have said to us, this is true. However, you wont need to do anything because you already know she didnt do anything). Ask them for clarification of what they think happened, when it happened, where and in front of who.

Once they have told you, give it a little while then tell them what your daughter has told you. If there are others who can corroborate that you daughter was elsewhere at the time, highlight this to the chavs. Then suggest there might have been a case of mistaken identity.

OK, told you you wouldn't like it. But you are diffusing the situation by giving them a way out. Doesn't matter if they deserve it, and it doesn't matter that you don't like it. The thing you are trying to do is to avoid conflict that might affect your daughter.

[jutty274]

Call the police to report it and make it clear to the old bill that youdon't want anybody to go out to them yet. Then if it happens again get straight on the phone to the old bill and make official. Then when the dad is out by himself do him. I will give you an alibi as would half the people on here.

[iffy]

Chances are this family have had similar incidents with pretty much every person they come across.

If they're as aggressive as you suggest, they've probably had set-tos with half the street, the newsagent and the milkman. They'll have ASBO's, statemented kids, the full menu of chav battle-honours.

This is a one-off for you, and you're raging (rightly) but this is how they live their lives. You're not going to be friends. Don't back down, be respectful in public, but don't apologise. Don't forget, but log it and let yourself calm down. Talk to your neighbours, see if they've had similar experiences. If there's another incident, go to the police. Console yourself with the fact that these people are losers with shit lives and the less they overlap with yours the better.

[Fred Elliot]

Grow a pair and need not ask a forum of other men how to deal with the obvious. Just monitor the situation an if anymore happen then lamp the cunt.

imbecilic cunt

Arriba, chill tonight dude and look at it again in the cold light of tomorrow.

I would love to give advice on this but it wont be the common sense approach so I will keep my counsel.

Good luck

[Arriba]

Sorry for the delay....

No, I don't mean apologise. What I mean is look for common ground. Change the focus of the argument.....Maybe talk or write to them acknowleging that you both got off on the wrong foot. Highlight the fact that the thing that you both want is to make sure that neither of your daughters are intimidated. Furthermore, acknowledge that you both want to find out what happened. Tell them that you would be angry if your daughter were involved in something like this (As you would be if she was, but you know she isn't - You don't need to say that) and reassure them that you would take action if she were (Again, from what you have said to us, this is true. However, you wont need to do anything because you already know she didnt do anything). Ask them for clarification of what they think happened, when it happened, where and in front of who.

Once they have told you, give it a little while then tell them what your daughter has told you. If there are others who can corroborate that you daughter was elsewhere at the time, highlight this to the chavs. Then suggest there might have been a case of mistaken identity.

OK, told you you wouldn't like it. But you are diffusing the situation by giving them a way out. Doesn't matter if they deserve it, and it doesn't matter that you don't like it. The thing you are trying to do is to avoid conflict that might affect your daughter.

i tried to be as open as possible from the start.3 times matey said dont come knocking on my door blahh blah blahh, starting trouble, to be told i am not looking for trouble from myself.i asked to know what happend.
after that i lost patience.
i did think of wriitng a letter,but dont want them to know my address(i dont know if they know my exact address)  
and to be honest dont think it will wash with their stupid, blinkered minds anyway.    
after thought, i cannot see how it cannot be anything but a case of mistaken identity.if i knock on their door it will only lead to one thing.(i will end up in court)
they think it was my daughter(their kid is lying-mistaken) and they are backing their kid.
the fact matey is a pussy who can't back up his threats, and his mrs is rough as fuck with a mouth as big as as her pussy means fuck all.
both could hurt my daughter if i'm not there.  

[Arriba]

although mudfish is a troll.when i was 20 i would have dealt with it that way.
infact i would have got a mob up together,and the house wouldn't be there anymore.
i could still get people involved if need be,but i am a man who does it alone nowadays.
i aint scared and am more than enough on my own.
they know that.i took it too them big fucking time.

[Fred Elliot]

they know that.

That's all that's needed

[Arriba]

now i'm calm i know that fred .i lost it earlier.my mrs and kids were like water off a ducks back.
my lad is so laid back he's almost horizontal.good thing when you are a promising footballer(watch this space)

[tans]

How old is he mate? Cant have long to go if he played in the milk cup?

[Arriba]

just turned 14.
has had loads of injuries but has found his form this season and is playing out of his skin.really pleased how it's going at the moment(touches wood)
hopefully will play in the milk cup again next year.