Right, there can be no fun until all the pre-match chores are done. Feel free to add to the list.
PRE-MATCH
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- KOT - Official matchday thread starter. Don't oversleep and let somebody spoil it. If you could stay up on Friday night until 00:00.01 that would reduce the risk.
-STFC Dave - Fans motivational speech maker. Your Charlton effort was good, but we need more. I want our fans whipped into a frenzy, a speech wothy enough to turn even the pastiest faced veggie tree hugging day tripper into a snarling singing machine that thinks a blue steak is overdone.
-Birdy & Sussex - crowd fluffers. Just in case Dave forgets we need something to get the crowd going.
JFW - Party Coordinator. Take a big handbag. Steal as many vol-au-vonts (or any assorted canopes) as you can. We may need them to soak up the beer should we win.
The Norweigan Viking Army - Security. Wear your scariest viking clothes. Hang around in the Green man and make sure them Millwall lot don't try and intimidate us. Cut off their heads and steal their women if they do (longboat parking still available at the green man). If you all turn out to be one of Sotton's imaginary internet persona I'll be more than dissapointed (though good work on the Norweigan website if it is Sutton).
DV - Official Statto - I need at least a squillion stats that will prove that there is no point in Millwall even getting off the coach.
Arriba - Designated moaner. I know its unfair for you to get this job but someone has to do it. If you do everyones share of moaning for them pre-match maybe we'll get it out the way and I won't be sat by them at Wembley.
Leefer - Sherper TomTom. Do something amusing on the way to Wembley. I need Leefer stories to make any loss seem not quite as bad. Not that we will lose.
Neville - TEF press officer. We need as many pun headlines as possible in order to beat the Adver into submission. Start with the benchmark "Charlie wants to beat Wembley Arch rivals" and up it from there.
Si_Pie - Chief science officer. I expect to see a full catalog of facebook pictures and comments by 2:59. Think of the poor mites that can't make it; talking of which:
SIPPO - Chief jellyfish impersonator. Not sure why we need a jellyfish, but your lack of backbone may come in handy
Enjoy entertaining the outlaws.
HERTHAB - erm, spend time working out how they build the pyrmaids. It'll keep your mind off more mportant matters.
LUCI - International ambassedor. Try and make our poor cousins understand how important Saturday is and how much you have given up by going to some weading or other.
