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« on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 06:32:40 » |
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Utter genius and oh so spot on... BROWN NOW DICKING ABOUT WITH FISH AND CHIPS
04-03-10
GORDON Brown last night added the size of chip shop chips to his list of things to dick about with.
As the government's healthy eating experts told chip shops to increase the size of their chips by 32.7%, across the county 58 million people said 'oh for the love of fucking Christ' in perfect unison.
A spokesman for the Food Standards Agency said chips 32.7% bigger than average have less saturated fat, can form part of a balanced diet and blah, blah, fucking blah, his whiny little voice piercing the stillness like a red hot needle of unbelievably annoying dickishness.
Looking all serious, he added: "Myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh."
Helen Archer, a mother of two who has voted Labour since 1997 and enjoys a deep fried cod at the weekend, said: "I'm sorry Gordon, I just can't do this any more."
And Charlie Reeves, a chip eater from Stevenage, said: "What are you doing? Seriously, what do you think you're doing?"
"I've had a hard day at work and I am just trying to have a bag of chips, you utter fucking prick."
He added: "I'm telling you right now - fuck the deficit, the environment, Afghanistan and the NHS. I will vote for whichever politician says this exact sentence - 'Chip shops can serve chips in whatever size they want'.
"I'm so tired."
Meanwhile, in a small cafe in Doncaster, van driver Martin Bishop placed his knife and fork gently next to his plate of haddock and chips, dragged his hands wearily down his face and added: "What? What the fuck is it now?
"Oh Jesus Christ, can I just have my dinner? I'm begging you. Can I just. Please. Have. My fucking. Dinner?" http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/brown-now-dicking-about-with-fish-and-chips-201003042527/ |
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herthab
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« Reply #1 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 07:08:26 » |
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It's not even funny.
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It's All Good..............
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Samdy Gray
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« Reply #2 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 07:58:18 » |
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It's not even funny.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. |
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A Gent Orange
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« Reply #3 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 08:54:23 » |
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It might be British and so I should prefer it to The Onion but The Mash has had more misses than Tiger Woods.
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china red
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« Reply #4 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 08:59:37 » |
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How long before they start taxing chips at a higher rate like fags and booze? How much fucking money are they going to spend regulating this?
I live in a communist dictatorship and I can honestly say that there are less ridiculous rules and regulations here than in the UK now.
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Talk Talk
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« Reply #5 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:00:58 » |
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reeves4england
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We'll never die!
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« Reply #6 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:05:04 » |
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If they think that's going to stop obesity they really have lost the plot.
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herthab
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« Reply #7 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:07:39 » |
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How long before they start taxing chips at a higher rate like fags and booze? How much fucking money are they going to spend regulating this?
I live in a communist dictatorship and I can honestly say that there are less ridiculous rules and regulations here than in the UK now.
China, that well known haven of liberal attitudes and policies? Alan, you're right. If it was in the torygraph it must be 100% accurate. |
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Ginginho
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« Reply #8 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:23:06 » |
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an average portion of fish and chips, which contains 595 calories and 9.42g of fat. I'm actually very surprised how little fat is in a portion of chips, I would've assumed it was much higher! I really fancy a portion of fish & chips now, not had this fine British delicacy in a long while. |
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blah blah
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« Reply #9 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:26:37 » |
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Utter genius and oh so spot on...
A spokesman for the Food Standards Agency said chips 32.7% bigger than average have less saturated fat, can form part of a balanced diet and blah, blah, fucking blah, his whiny little voice piercing the stillness like a red hot needle of unbelievably annoying dickishness.
no need to get personal..... I've got nothing against chips. What have I ever done to him ? |
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Ralphy
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« Reply #10 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:27:11 » |
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If they think that's going to stop obesity they really have lost the plot.
The key to stopping obesity is better education on healthy living. Teach kids about the importance of exercise and healthy eating. It should be given the same importance as Maths and English in my view. It's fine to have a bag of chips once a week, just not every fucking night! |
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china red
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« Reply #11 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:31:16 » |
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China, that well known haven of liberal attitudes and policies?
Yep, thats the one. |
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Talk Talk
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« Reply #12 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:38:53 » |
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The key to stopping obesity is better education on healthy living.
Teach kids about the importance of exercise and healthy eating.
It should be given the same importance as Maths and English in my view.
It hasn't got anything to do with the government or schools Ralphy. What I or my family eat is our own business. It is individual choice. Everybody has a brain, they can decide for themselves what is 'healthy/not healthy', if they want to be thin, fat, green, blue or anything else as far as I am concerned. I just want the nanny state to get the fuck out of our lives. It's fine to have a bag of chips once a week, just not every fucking night! My sentiments entirely, but if others want to that is up to them. |
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spacey
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« Reply #13 on: Friday, March 5, 2010, 09:44:16 » |
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I'm confused. Is it against the law to eat fish and chips every day?
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