Retards who cant shut or open car doors properly

[michael]

Or gob on the windscreen

[Barry Scott]

Wouldn't that just make all complaints you have about the idiot worthless - you deflating the tyres means they'll be there, in a place you don't want them to be, for a longer amount of time.

Why not get under the car, loosen the hand brake and roll it to the other end of the car park?

Just a thought i had.

Or cut the brake lines so they can validly use disabled spaces. Which reminds me of a drunken idea me a few mates had years ago. Go around stealing Platinum from catalytic converters to melt down and sell on.

[Arriba]

Or gob on the windscreen

that's what i usually do.

[Talk Talk]

On the subject of anger against other motorists/road rage, I feel the need to relate an episode of serious intimidation from this morning.

I had to go up to the Smoke today and as is my wont, I drive up to West London and get the tube in. This naturally takes me along the M4. For years now, J12 has been the danger zone of the drive as most of the people in West Reading use the M4 as a by-pass and get off at J11. So you approach J12 with some trepidation, knowing that there will be a swarm of nutters who move from the acceleration lane into the outside lane in one swift, thoughtless action.

Today I did the usual, moved to the middle lane just before, checked my distance from the car in front (2 second gap) and waited for the onslaught.

Predictably, a few hundred yards past the junction I have a white van in my rear view mirror, about ten inches off my bumper. The outside lane is moving faster than me but the inside is rammed. So I stay where I am, trying to avoid the swarm heading for the outside lane. Thirty seconds later the driver in the van behind me is flashing his lights and blowing his horn. Hmmm. I can't go anywhere, if I could pull in to the inside lane I would. If I could go faster I would. If I could pull out into the outside lane I would. Nope, I will have to stay where I am, thanks.

Out of nowhere, this van pulls up alongside me on the right, the driver giving me all the verbals and wanker signs. I look over and just put my hands up to say 'What? What do you expect me to do?". This, for some reason, enrages him even further. He then tries to push me sideways three times with his van but I don't swerve or move as the inside lane is solid and we're moving at about 60mph. Not having any effect he then accelerates hard and cuts in front of me. I am expecting him to brake hard - I can handle that but the other vehicles behind me won't have any warning and they will be piling up against my boot.

Instead, he cuts into the inside lane, about two feet in front of the car behind to my left and then onto the hard shoulder. Still doing 60mph he opens the door and makes 'come on then you fucker' gestures to me. I resist getting flustered and don't respond, I just concentrate on the reactions of the other cars around me.

Things quieten down as Mr Angry gets stuck on the hard shoulder as there is just no room for him to pull back out and the distance between us increases. Once past J11 I put my foot down as the traffic clears, just in case.

I'm somewhat perturbed by all this. What a fucking idiot. He could easily have caused a multiple pile up with chucking that van around like he did. I am the last person to hog the middle lane as it is one of my pet hates - but under the circumstances I wasn't and it is also the safest place to be on that stretch of road (Fred might understand this).

FFS.

[Arriba]

fucking middle lane hoggers.tut tut

[flammableBen]

I don't drive so this may be a silly question, but if people are bombing across the lanes like maniacs isn't the middle lane the worst place to be? Why not just stay in the outside as much as possible?

[Talk Talk]

I don't drive so this may be a silly question, but if people are bombing across the lanes like maniacs isn't the middle lane the worst place to be? Why not just stay in the outside as much as possible?

It is a very difficult junction to judge.

If you stay in the inside lane then you get immediately cut up by cars coming off the slip road (this lane usually grinds to a halt within about 200 yards from the weight of traffic).

If you stay in the outside lane it gets a full complement of nutters quickly and the brake lights go on as it can't handle the onslaught. I had a rear collision and a bad neck injury in exactly this stretch about twenty years ago and nothing has changed, so my gut feel is that the outside = suicide.

So that leaves the middle lane. It means you can watch the inside lane cars pulling out and watch the brake lights in the outside. I don't know if it is the best answer but it has always worked for me since my accident. I'm happy to get back in the inside lane and take it easy once the swarm is over.

[flammableBen]

If you stay in the outside lane it gets a full complement of nutters quickly and the brake lights go on as it can't handle the onslaught. I had a rear collision and a bad neck injury in exactly this stretch about twenty years ago and nothing has changed, so my gut feel is that the outside = suicide.

(I promise I'm not being argumentative just for the sake of it, I'm just interested - I think I get motorway driving despite not doing it, but I'm not really sure.)

But don't you have that problem with the middle lane too? I guess you get a bit more prior warning if someone looks like they're going to make a dive across in front of you, but surely you'll get break light stop start madness with the people in front of you having to quickly hit the stoppers for similar reasons?

Despite not driving I do have some of my own driver annoyances, is it normal for people not to bother indicating when there are no other cars about?

[Simon Pieman]

I remember doing a ton on the way back from Southampton to rush back for the train to Millwall (running late not proud of it, roads were quite empty luckily as it was early morning). Suddenly I noticed flashing lights in my rear mirror, which I checked frequently so I was surprised how sudden it all was. Basically I thought I'd not seen a camera and got caught bombing through at first, but then realises there is a white van driving right up my arse even though I was bombing past the two inner lanes of cars. He sped off in the distance, must have been doing a good 120mph the way he flew past.

My conclusion is that white van drivers can be absolute nut jobs.

[flammableBen]

Were you drunk at the time?

[Simon Pieman]

Yeah, I'd just got out of the pub.

[flammableBen]

That's fucking disgraceful, you should be ashamed.

[china red]

Where I live in China is full of the most inconsiderate mother fucking bastards I have ever had the misfortune to come across.

The pavement here is not for people to walk on, it's for cars to park on.  I find myself pushing my son in his push chair in the road because literally the pavement is full of cars. 

Add to that the fact that no one uses Indicators or mirrors, drive the wrong way down dual carriage ways and people here wonder why so many are killed on the roads each year.

[Mexicano Rojo]

coming over here using our pavements

[Hammer]

I remember doing a ton on the way back from Southampton to rush back for the train to Millwall (running late not proud of it, roads were quite empty luckily as it was early morning). Suddenly I noticed flashing lights in my rear mirror, which I checked frequently so I was surprised how sudden it all was. Basically I thought I'd not seen a camera and got caught bombing through at first, but then realises there is a white van driving right up my arse even though I was bombing past the two inner lanes of cars. He sped off in the distance, must have been doing a good 120mph the way he flew past.

My conclusion is that white van drivers can be absolute nut jobs.

   
             
  Being a very experienced professional driver, I totally agree that white van drivers are nut jobs. However, I know two black van drivers and one who is half-caste. They are equally as bad.