Name that Malpas competition

[Simon Pieman]

This is not a game, this is entirely serious. This thread has been created for the sole reason of giving Maurice Malpas a new name. I feel this could only rebuild the bond between manager, team and fans.

If you have a suggestion on who you'd like Maurice Malpas to become, post it here by midnight. I will then create a poll for everyone to vote on, whichever name wins, I will email the club to let them know which name we want MM to change his name to by deed poll.

RULES

You may only enter once and you can only give a maxiumum of three reasons. You can change his first or second name, or both if you wish! Suggestions should follow this format (as a very quick example):

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'your suggestion here' by deed poll, because:

1) Reason one.
2) Reason two.
3) Reason three.


Remember, this is entirely serious, so no silly names like 'Phil Malpas' or 'John Clarke', I want some decent suggestions. Also if you could refrain from making them derogatory or racist that would be ace.

[Fred Elliot]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Joe Kinnear' by deed poll, because:

1) You're a cunt
2) You're a cunt
3) Fuck it...........your'e all cunts

[DV]

Colin Calderwood

1. he is a swindon legend (calderwood not malpas duh)
2. some sections of our crowd are that retarded that if he did change his name they would believe we did actually have Calderwood in charge
3. He will be given a chance here on name value

[flammableBen]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Fisty Discharge McFistFist' by deed poll, because:

1) Reason one.
2) Reason two.
3) Reason three.

[Fred Elliot]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Theopolous. T. Wilderbeast' by deed poll, because:

1) Cos I'm a fucking love god innit


(yes.........I'm bored)

[Fred Elliot]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Maureen' by deed poll, because:

1) These slingbacks are fucking killing me

[Sippo]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Joe Kinnear' by deed poll, because:

1) You're a cunt
2) You're a cunt
3) Fuck it...........your'e all cunts

Or call him Mike Hunt

[Jamiesfuturewife]

I think he should change his name to Monty Burns

because - a) he looks like him
b) it would be funny
c) maybe ho could go an run a power station and leave us alone?

[jayohaitchenn]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Maurice' by deed poll, because:

1) Some people call him the space cowboy.
2) Some people call him the gangster of love.
3) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Weasel]

He needs a surname which has two syllables and doesn't end in an 's'. Then the fans wouldn't struggle with the "we are <insert new name here>'s barmy amy" song.

I believe this is a major reason why the clever folk of Swindon haven't warmed to him.

[pauld]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Kredit Krunch' by deed poll, because:

1) It's topical
2) He could name a breakfast cereal after himself
3) Erm, erm, it's a bit like Kaptain Kremmin

[blinkpip]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Behemoth Kraken Malpas'  by deed poll, because:

1) I like it
2) Reason two same as reason 1
3) Reason same as reason 1 not quite 2.

[Bogus Dave]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Eddie Cochrane' by deed poll, So that:

1) He finds a girl to love
2) She falls in love with you
3) You kiss and hold her tightly

[nevillew]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Eddie Cochrane' by deed poll, So that:

1) He finds a girl to love
2) She falls in love with you
3) You kiss and hold her tightly

sure seems like heaven to me Dave  (wap, wah  ooh)

[pauld]

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Eddie Cochrane' by deed poll, So that:

1) He finds a girl to love
2) She falls in love with you
3) You kiss and hold her tightly

That's a bit tight - he finds the girl, then she falls in love with one of us and we get to kiss and hold her tightly. Hasn't Maurice had a bad enough time off Swindon fans as it is, without one of us nicking his dream lass?