oxford_fan
 Offline
Posts: 6764
|
 |
« on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 10:51:53 » |
|
stupidly i chose last night to break it to my girlfriend that when we return from our 5 week holiday in tanzania (due to depart next wednesday) we should have a break from each other. i probably should have waited until after the holiday to tell her. fuckity fuck.
understandably she's not so keen on the trip any more. its her own fault that this is needed though, i don't trust her as far as i could throw her and it does my head in. there have been some troubles in the past and we've never made a fresh start, hence the problems are always there under the surface and also seem to keep on occuring. plus when we return she will be in london and i'm moving back to oxford for a little bit at least, so it seems a good time to go our own ways for a bit. i stressed that it would only be a temporary measure and it would do us both some good, but obviously she was having none of that and only seeing it short term.
when she asked what would happen after africa i wish i'd just been optimistic and it would have delayed all of this hassle. idiot.
sorry if this bores you, i'm in need of some advice though! i need to rescue this holiday. as i've now made my position clear i think i just need to work on jutifying it?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
dell boy
|
|
« Reply #1 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 10:55:10 » |
|
Hell, the only thing I can think of is to say we both need this holiday and being together for five weeks is just what we need to build the relationship. Enjoy the holiday then dump her.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Weasel
Offline
Posts: 685
|
|
« Reply #2 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 10:56:20 » |
|
Retract everything you've said, blame it on your hormones and buy her some flowers. Or face a load of money spent on a holiday from hell.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Colin Todd
Offline
Posts: 3318
|
|
« Reply #3 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 10:59:14 » |
|
Take a more cheerful bird on holiday with you as its all paid for i imagine?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
dell boy
|
|
« Reply #4 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:00:07 » |
|
Take a more cheerful bird on holiday with you as its all paid for i imagine?
I'd imagine it's in her name, and it costs fortunes to change details at this stage though, so that is probably a no no. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Arriba
Offline
Posts: 21305
|
|
« Reply #5 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:01:30 » |
|
get a mate to buy her out for the holiday(at a reduced cost of course)
then you can dump her at will
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
Offline
Posts: 16467
|
|
« Reply #6 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:04:16 » |
|
leave her in tanzania
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Things get better but they never get good
|
|
|
oxford_fan
Offline
Posts: 6764
|
|
« Reply #7 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:08:57 » |
|
Hell, the only thing I can think of is to say we both need this holiday and being together for five weeks is just what we need to build the relationship. that's a good little line, i like it. the holiday would be amazing, there is no problem when we're alone together. i'd still like to go on it. i made the flight booking (pretty much all we've got booked) in our names. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
janaage
People's Front of Alba
Offline
Posts: 14825
|
|
« Reply #8 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:12:58 » |
|
stupidly i chose last night to break it to my girlfriend that when we return from our 5 week holiday in tanzania (due to depart next wednesday) we should have a break from each other. i probably should have waited until after the holiday to tell her. fuckity fuck.
understandably she's not so keen on the trip any more. its her own fault that this is needed though, i don't trust her as far as i could throw her and it does my head in. there have been some troubles in the past and we've never made a fresh start, hence the problems are always there under the surface and also seem to keep on occuring. plus when we return she will be in london and i'm moving back to oxford for a little bit at least, so it seems a good time to go our own ways for a bit. i stressed that it would only be a temporary measure and it would do us both some good, but obviously she was having none of that and only seeing it short term.
when she asked what would happen after africa i wish i'd just been optimistic and it would have delayed all of this hassle. idiot.
sorry if this bores you, i'm in need of some advice though! i need to rescue this holiday. as i've now made my position clear i think i just need to work on jutifying it?
OF I think you need to clear the air now, and you may be able to rescue the holiday. Just tell her why you're feeling the way you do right now and see if things change. Tell her you really want to go away with her as if you go away with her things might work out (and if you shag her in Tanzania that'd be a new country to add to your sex list). You never know. Sounds like there are some trust issues going on, need to sort them out or cut your losses and finish it. Up to you fella. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Batch
Not a Batch
Offline
Posts: 57831
|
|
« Reply #9 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:26:15 » |
|
Ouch!
Good luck OF.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
oxford_fan
Offline
Posts: 6764
|
|
« Reply #10 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:29:48 » |
|
Spot on with the trust issues. I can't see how they can be sorted out though, other than taking a break? With that we could draw a line under past incidents and maybe start again. There is also the possibility that its too fucked and unable to be fixed.
In the past we've tried talking things through but the same things happen again, be it me being suspicious or her doing something stupid or lying. If we keep going the problems will persist as nothing will have changed, and I can't be arsed with the same things anymore.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
LucienSanchez
Offline
Posts: 5194
Is this hospital called St. Croc of Shit?!
|
|
« Reply #11 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:32:58 » |
|
Ditch her. Go on holiday alone, it'll be cool regardless...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
We made a promise we swore we'd always remember... no retreat, baby, no surrender
|
|
|
tans
You spin me right round baby right round
Offline
Posts: 26817
|
|
« Reply #12 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:42:43 » |
|
If you dont trust her, theres no point being with her, go on your own, you know it makes sense
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia
Offline
Posts: 34913
|
|
« Reply #13 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:45:39 » |
|
See if that bird Frenchy on TIU fancies steppng in at the last moment, she seems like a game lass...(pun intended)....you could woo her with the offer of a sightseeing trip to Firoz Kassam's birthplace.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Luci
Offline
Posts: 10862
Fatbury's Stalker
|
|
« Reply #14 on: Monday, August 4, 2008, 11:53:53 » |
|
Ive always been a bit skeptical about going on a 'break'. To me that just rings running away from the problem rather than actually dealing with it - unless you don't want it dealt with.
IMO putting a bit of distance in between yourselves just makes the trust worse and constantly worrying about what the others doing.
No disrespect but in my opinion a 'break' isn't the answer as I don't think it will suddenly make you trust someone again.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
