oxford_fan
 Offline
Posts: 6764
|
 |
« on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:20:22 » |
|
I thought all of my housemates were out last night, so embarked upon an almighty wank.
Pretty soon after the man milk had been released I heard someone in the corridor muttering the world "vulgar" in disdain.
So far, I can see a few options.
1. never go home
2. say i was polishing the window/woodwork
3. when asked what i did last night, reply "I just stayed in and had a massive wank"
I think number three is probably the lesser of the evils.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
tans
You spin me right round baby right round
Offline
Posts: 26811
|
|
« Reply #1 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:21:08 » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
land_of_bo
|
|
« Reply #2 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:28:21 » |
|
Was it your nine o clock wednesday wank?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
janaage
People's Front of Alba
Offline
Posts: 14825
|
|
« Reply #3 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:32:44 » |
|
I thought all of my housemates were out last night, so embarked upon an almighty wank.
Pretty soon after the man milk had been released I heard someone in the corridor muttering the world "vulgar" in disdain.
So far, I can see a few options.
1. never go home
2. say i was polishing the window/woodwork
3. when asked what i did last night, reply "I just stayed in and had a massive wank"
I think number three is probably the lesser of the evils.  Brilliant!! That's brought tears of laughter to my face. Are all your housemates male?? I'd go for option 3 fella, ha ha, brilliant! |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
chalkies_shorts
|
|
« Reply #4 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:42:15 » |
|
I would have thought that being a Scummer and wanking aren't exactly mutually exclusive, are they?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
oxford_fan
Offline
Posts: 6764
|
|
« Reply #5 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:53:31 » |
|
it was a female housmate.
i live with 3 blokes and 3 girls, plus a 'couch surfer' (she doesn't pay rent but cleans, does my washing up and cooks dinner sometimes).
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
yeo
Offline
Posts: 3651
|
|
« Reply #6 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:55:12 » |
|
Who would catch someone having a wank and mutter the word "vulgar"?
Surely your house mates will just take the piss,I know I would.
Its not like they caught you in the living room hanging yourself from a lamp shade with their pants with a Cucumber up your bum is it......
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
/
W56196272
|
|
|
Colin Todd
Offline
Posts: 3318
|
|
« Reply #7 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:01:48 » |
|
best post for ages! Where were you? in the living room? I assume you were watching porn? Does the content of said porn add further comedy to the situation? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
oxford_fan
Offline
Posts: 6764
|
|
« Reply #8 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:02:54 » |
|
i was in my room, and it was an imagination toss
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Arriba
Offline
Posts: 21305
|
|
« Reply #9 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:03:24 » |
|
i dont get it?
did anyone actually catch you in the act?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
oxford_fan
Offline
Posts: 6764
|
|
« Reply #10 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:05:14 » |
|
not visually, but audibly. i should have put music on. some barry white.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Batch
Not a Batch
Offline
Posts: 57823
|
|
« Reply #11 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:15:39 » |
|
he's a wanker,
he's a wanker,
and it does him good like it bloody well should...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Arriba
Offline
Posts: 21305
|
|
« Reply #12 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:17:50 » |
|
oh a noisy wanker  just ask the girl if she wants to relieve you next time |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
SwindonTartanArmy
Go Team GB!
Offline
Posts: 2917
London Scottish - More History than Franchise!
|
|
« Reply #13 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:24:55 » |
|
Think OF's custom bit under his name should now read "resident scummer, and a wanker to boot!" |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Vi er best i verden! Vi er best i verden! Vi har slått England 2-1 i fotball!! Det er aldeles utrolig! Vi har slått England! England, kjempers fødeland. Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana--vi har slått dem alle sammen. Vi har slått dem alle sammen. Maggie Thatcher can you hear me?
Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
|
|
|
STFC4LIFE
Fence Fucker
Offline
Posts: 2785
|
|
« Reply #14 on: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 13:39:08 » |
|
Who would catch someone having a wank and mutter the word "vulgar"?
Surely your house mates will just take the piss,I know I would.
Its not like they caught you in the living room hanging yourself from a lamp shade with their pants with a banana up your bum is it...... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
