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Author Topic: Fred's FourFourTwo Adventures  (Read 7620 times)
Fred Elliot
I REST MY FUCKING CASE

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« on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 17:45:42 »

Freds report on last night

Venue : Bar Kick, Shoreditch (Crack Den, Shite Hole, Prozzies Hang out)

Cast :

STFC : Fred - Swindon
BRFC : Hazel - London
CTFC : Leo - Near Oxford
BCFC : Not that interested so dont recall his name - Norwich

This is going to be hard trying to precis a 3 hour interview, but will give you the salient points.

Turns up at 18.55

Fred : Awright gashead

BR : Awright Swindle

Fred : Where's the rest ?

BR : Cheltnums downstairs

Fred : Shitty ?

BR : Late

Fred : Yeah, I heard they always come last

Everybody turns up eventually

Fred : So where you lot from then ?

BR : Laaaaaandaaaaannn

BC : Norwich my lovely

CT : Near Oxford

Fred :           Fucking Plastics

BC : Not, Im still a Season Ticket holder

Fred : Mug

Interviewer : Shall we go downstairs where it is a little quieter so I can tape

Fred : Whatever !


Question 1

So, out of the four of you who are your main rivals ?

Fred : None of these lot really, our main rivals are Oxford, but thats inconsequential now because they are no longer a football league club and they are playing the likes of Salisbury and Histon. "Thanks Jim"

BC : Dont know really but Plymuff and the Taffs hate us

BR : ERRRRRRRRRRMMMM Huh?Huh?Huh??

CT : We love everyone and everyone loves us


Question 2

How would each of you sum up last season ?

Fred : Typical Swindon really, start ok and full of promise, then get fucked over by the board and Ken Bates, struggle for a while, then make the easiest of jobs hard work and leave things to the last minute.

BR : Unbelievable and unexpected

BC : What can I say - we deserve it

Fred : Fuck off do you !

CT : Grateful to finish in 17th place

Fred :  Cheesy


Question 3

So what are your realistic aspirations each of you for next season ?

Fred : There is a lot of optimism on the Townend.com and my mate DV reckons we will challenge for a play off spot, but I am a lot more pragmatic and realistic and I hope that with the squad the manager can pull together with the finances open to him we can consolidate. 17th would see me a happy man. Staying in the division is paramount.

BR : Consolidation definately

BC : Top half realistically

Fred :  

CT : 17th would be ace


Question 4

So you and Cheltenham see yourselves in a relegation scrap then ?

Fred : No.................Cheltenham are going down (in a Clubber Lang voice)

CT : It will be close, Swindon have not got the financial nous to keep afloat and consolidate in this league.

Fred :  :fu:


Qusetion 5 :

So who out of the 4 of you would you say is the bigger club ?

Fred : (1st to pipe up) no contest....us of course !

BR : errrrrrrrrrmmmmmm

BC : Its got to be us...................look at the league we are in

Fred : Thats bollocks, you always have thought you are bigger than what you are !

BC : We are a City, Look at our potential fan base !

Fred : Yes, a shitty that shares with annother club, pulls fans from the city for Bristol Rugby and Bath Rugby, you are predominantly a rugby town.

CT : BC are a bigger club because they have a better stadium and are financially viable.

Fred : FFS shut up ! Franchise have got a magnificent new stadium that will host 4000 fans everyother week in league 2, does that make them a bigger club than STFC ?. You are financially viable, but no fucking way are you a bigger club. Its all about history and heritage. That's were you are all wrong, its all about history and heritage. We have been there, done it, won the League Cup, what have you done ? Shitty have to reinvent themselves and ask for certain players to fall on their swords. Your opinion does not wash its face.



Interviewer : Bar break and we will take some shots

Fred : Oh ace ! The camera loves me darling !



PART 2 TO FOLLOW
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tans
You spin me right round baby right round

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« Reply #1 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 18:34:09 »

superb  
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larwood
The girl least likely to.

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« Reply #2 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 18:40:13 »


What a hero you are Fred,good job  Cheesy
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I was a small, fat child in a welfare house
There was only one thing I ever dreamed about
And fate has just
Handed it to me - whoopee
mattboyslim

« Reply #3 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 18:41:26 »



Fred will you sign my copy of 442 Wink
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Fred Elliot
I REST MY FUCKING CASE

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« Reply #4 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 18:58:55 »

Thats about 20% of it

will post the rest later tonight after I have had something to eat

48 hrs without food IS NOT GOOD !
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DV
Has also heard this

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Joseph McLaughlin




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« Reply #5 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 19:31:20 »

I have been horribly mis-quoted....I said a top half finish  
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pumbaa
Ha, no cunt in my title anymore. Oh.....

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Fartmeister




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« Reply #6 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 19:59:23 »

What a load of utter bullshit

 
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Rich Pullen

« Reply #7 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 20:27:58 »

Brilliant - you'll piss off so many City fans who read it.

 Cheesy
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axs
naaarrrrrppppp

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« Reply #8 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 22:11:34 »

quality  - do you know which issue this will be in Fred?
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Gelbfüßler

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Was gücksch?




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« Reply #9 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 22:16:29 »

That is entirely genius. Can't believe Shitty fans, completely deluded.
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Wir lassen uns unsere Liebe nicht nehmen
Nicht von den Bullen und nicht vom DFB
glos_robin

« Reply #10 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 22:28:05 »

The Cheltenham fan sounds a bit of a twat, but then they are really a non-league club and most of their fans also support Prem clubs
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Gelbfüßler

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Was gücksch?




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« Reply #11 on: Wednesday, June 27, 2007, 22:34:29 »

Are they implying we're not financially 'viable'?  
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Wir lassen uns unsere Liebe nicht nehmen
Nicht von den Bullen und nicht vom DFB
Spud

« Reply #12 on: Thursday, June 28, 2007, 05:38:22 »

How many pints were sunk before this interview then Fred?  

Oh and you should have that cheque early next week mate.
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Fred Elliot
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« Reply #13 on: Thursday, June 28, 2007, 08:53:32 »

Quote from: "axs"
quality  - do you know which issue this will be in Fred?


Its in the "pre Season" issue, branded September, but will be out early August
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Fred Elliot
I REST MY FUCKING CASE

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« Reply #14 on: Thursday, June 28, 2007, 08:54:26 »

Quote from: "Spuddy_STFC"
How many pints were sunk before this interview then Fred?  
.


The bar never sold pints, much to my dismay

Had about 4/5 bottles of Sol
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