Thetownend.com

Last night my missus told me she didn't 'think' she wanted to be here anymore. It's all to do with the fact that she's 25 and wants kids and I'm 44 and don't want any more.

We had the big discussion a couple of years ago, when I told her there was no fucking way I would ever want any more kids and she said she could live with it, obviously she's changed her mind (It doesn't help when all her friends are squeezing brats out left, right and centre).

Should I just accept it and move on, or should I try and get her to stay?

The biggest worry is that if she moves out, I'm left with all the fucking bills.

You can see my predicament.

difficult one. How the hell did you get a 25 yr old in the first place?!  ;)

I think sometime in their life most women will want kids. If you don't want kids, and she does obviously there will be frictions. You've just got to be honest I guess.

So you're saying get a lodger in?

A female lodger, who's about 25 and doesn't want babies.

Older man, younger women relatationships rarely last the course.

The women usually gets bored or the man dies.

Experience.

Watch a bunch of films with giving birth scenes in them.

If that doesn't do the trick you might be in trouble.

In the current market you cannot sell.

I would get a lodger in, if she is leaving. Apparently the letting market is booming at the moment.

  Never an easy decision when one person in the relationship wants children and the other does not.
having a child/children to prolong/sustain a relationship is usually unsuccessful as babies/children are demanding and place additional strain on any relationship.
If you stay together there will need to be a compromise and will this compromise develop into a culture of blame within your relationship?

Ditch that ho.

Get the snip but don't tell her... then let her know you want to start a family. Easy...

I'm not going to compromise on the question of children. I told her that when we got together.

It wouldn't be fair on her (As you said, I'd blame her) the child (A dad who's an OAP) or me.

I also told her a couple of years ago that this would happen and the daft bint said it wouldn't.

Devious, underhand, conniving and downright wrong.

I'll give it some serious thought.

maybe she's feeling insecure at the moment?

Why would she? I even said I'd marry her! Just no kids.

Just ignore it, it'll go away.

   theoretically: if contraception failed and she confirmed she was pregnant, how would you feel/ react?  

Stitched up.

i'll give her kids, but im not bringing the cunts up.

I'll let her know.

Fuck mate !

If there were kids of your own (between you) already involved, then I would say fight tooth and nail to reach a compromise in order to stay together.

The old biological clock is a weird thing and things and feelings do change. However, I feel your pain.

All I can say is don't be manouvered into a corner that you really don't want to be in for what could be short term gains, for it will eat and eat away at you mate.

You know where I am if you need a chat

You should try and get her to stay for the right reasons.... paying the bills is not a good reason!

My best friend has an older man and has done for years now, it seems that not every woman needs to have children. Its something she and i have talked about alot and she is more than willing to give that up to be with him. Your other half might just be having a moment...?

I hope it works out for you x

If you definitely don' want kids, and she definitely does wnat kids there is only one way it is headed really.

It's shit but no point in being in denial of it.

Sorry.

This - if its something thats just passing, and she eventually realises that its not what she wants then you can get past it. However if she really has her heart set on having kids, then it may alter the dynamic of your relationship too much to stay together.

Probably just regurgitating what others have said but I wanted to put my own special spin on it.

This is the crunch right here. If she's adam ant then it's time to do the right thing and move on.

Cant you just give her dan? Seriously though mate i am sure you will do what is right.

If you're both serious and set on your respective kids/no kids positions, then you know where it's headed already, but worth taking the time to see if there's room for compromise on either side.

On a more serious note - 44-25, any tips to share?

Pick an ugly one.

I agree with Miss Angry. If paying the bills is the biggest worry, I think you've answered your own question.

I was being a bit flippant there, obviously there's more to it otherwise we wouldn't have been together for 4 years.

Had another chat this morning and she's moved out 'For A Few Days.'

Because women are fucked up in the head!

I think you know where you heading by now.  If I can add a few thoughts...if she's 25 this is just the start.  By the time she's 30 the biological clock will be going completely mental.  She told you a few years ago that she could do without kids because

(a) the clock possibly wasn't ticking quite as loud then; and
(b) she loved you and didn't want to lose you.

She now realises that it was a rash promise and doesn't know what to do.  I'm afraid the bottom line (even if she won't admit this to herself) is that if you aren't able to give her children, she'll need to find someone to be with who can.

I don't mean to sound flippant because I know feelings are involved (yours and hers) and you're probably going to get hurt in the short term.  I went through something fairly similar about 10 years ago - although on that occasion the girl and I were both in our mid 20s and it was she that was ruling the kids thing out.  (I wasn't desperate for them back then...just didn't want to rule it out forever.  I'm now father to a beautiful 8 month old baby boy, so definitely the right decision in the long run.)

I think you need to set her free, mate.

How many kids have you got? just one? I dont think 44 is too old to be a dad personally but if you dont want any more then fair enough 

by the way my boyfriend is alot older than me and weve been together like 8 years but he doesnt have any kids or ex wives etc so I guess its a bit different

hold on so when you got together she was 21 and you were 40?? sly old dog   ;)

my mrs is 13yrs older than me.

really? thats interesting? Ive always thought younger guys wouldnt go for older ladies?

im 25, shes 38

Fuck yeah. Older ladies are the way forward.

I'm same as tans, my wife's 13 years older than me.

Im loving this info

i shagged a 29 year old when i was 18 if that counts?
 
in regard to herhabs problem,her yearning for kids may pass and the relationship could carry on as normal.or it wont and you'll have to part,(unless you give in and become a dad again?)
it is a shame but these things happen.a mate of mine is divorcing for the same reason(his mrs changed her mind after agreeing to not wanting kids at the start of the relationship)
dunno how i'd feel about it if it happend to me? if i loved the woman, 44 isn't old in todays society.is a baby such a bad idea?

Obviously I don't know the lady in question (or Hertha for that matter).  But I'd be very surprised if her yearning did pass.  It's an instinct that people either have or they don't have.  Not the sort of thing that can be turned on or off at will.

herthab. Take her on holiday to Thailand and let her baby sit my little'un for a couple of hours, that'll change her mind.

Adopt a black boy and call him marmite

I shagged a woman 18 years older than me once. I was 22 she was 40. Taught me a few things...

Sorry that just made me spit squash all over my desk.  What is wrong with Bovril?

Herthab, I'm very sorry to hear all of this, you can only do what is best for you and if you really don't want kids and she really does then you aren't meant to be.  There has to come a point where you have to walk away because you know it's the right thing to do for you in the long run.  If she stays she may resent you for it further down the line.  It does sound though that she needs to take some time to sort her head out and decide what she really wants, because you don't tell someone you aren't sure you want to be with them, you usually tell them when you are sure you don't want to be with them?!

On another note - Why do men always propose in the face of a relationship collapse?

  It's not the social age thing as such, it's just it's very tiring having a small one after 40, its the same as going on a bender on a monday night and going straight to work after, you can do it at 25 not at 45, bloody kills you.

ummmmm Ive never been proposed too!  :(

Have you ever dumped anyone to beg for your hand in marriage?

ummm nope - maybe thats where Im going wrong?  :soapy tit wank:

We never did elope, did we...

haha brings back one particular memory.  My response "you're clearly clutching at straws".

no............I think you went off me!

spat coffee out!

No no, i was just waiting for you to ditch your other half!

With regards to marriage, I didn't propose to her this week, we've been engaged for a couple of years.

On the kids topic, been there, done that and really don't want to do it again. There's also a lot of family history of premature death (65ish) and while I'm not planning on departing quite that soon, it is something I'm aware of.

Im in a very similar situation GF's clock is ticking big time, sadly we have to let each other go - which is a lot easier to type than to do! Its the only "problem" in our relationship, but they don't get much bigger.....(well apart from  - no, thats another story.....)

it's all about older women.

Get a 65 year old in Herthab, she certainly won't give you any grief about babies and you'll get her money in 30 years tops.

How long does Herthab's gf have to have been cohabiting before she can get 50%?

It's ok Reg, she's got more than me so if we go 50-50 I'll be quids in.

 Sorted then...

On the downside it will be like throwing a hotdog down an arid corridoor.

It's now officially over, got THE TEXT this morning.

I'd stick my head in the oven, but it's electric......

Can still be done, just hurts a bit more.

Yeah, but if it didn't work, just think of the bill.

I'd give yourself a bit of time to get over it....out on the pull tomorrow then?

Probably.

It's a bit like falling from a horse, best thing to do is to remount asap.

Not that I've ever fallen from a horse, but have split up with a fair few women.

oooh can I set you up with my friend Jane? shes 19 with big boobies? she needs to "get back on the horse" after a break up too?

Me or Herthab?

Pm me a picture.

ummm I dont think I have one? umm check my Facebook

19 with big boobies? Sounds good!

Im 29 with big boobies

after checking your facebook i can confirm she has big boobies, however she does look about 13, I cant believe you didnt think of me!

I'm in on that one.

Mex you go for the young lookers!! :D (especially 16 year old receptionists with strict mums!  ;))

If anyone fancies anyone off my facebook do let me know and Ill see what I can do  :D I love setting people up!!

AXS have you found anyone yet? I want to set you up with my friend Kate - shes brainy like you

right will let you know in a minute :)

love it!! I love setting people up!!

please be appropriate this time!  ;)

jane and emily would get it.

however that luci davies looks filth.

Fucker.

:)

Think I'll stick to older women from now on.

JFW, do you know anyone your age, or older?

surely you want pre-menopause?

wrinkles add character

Tell that to my ball bag

 :)

 

OH MY GOD you lot

ummm yeah - well like everyone I went to school with would be my age

I'll take her. Although you have more than one friend called Kate, I'm not fussy.

you cant afford to be


you're Ginge

 :cry:

 :D ;)

I'm over it.

I'm going down the CG to see what's going on.

ahhhhhhh some of us love the ginge

and always remember Lee Peacock is a secret ginge

There are a secret clan of ginge loving girls. Unfortunately they are very secret.

The problem is they're too embarrassed to tell anyone. Even ginge blokes.

It's tragic.

Catch 22.

Well i just got on the same train as herthab. I guess im lucky in the fact we dont live together and i have only been with him just over a year... but im still very very sad.
I have to find a friend and change my season ticket now.

Oh bloody hell, is it going tits up for everyone!?  :(

Was it a an 0-6-0 Collett "mixed" on the Somerset and Dorset..all change at Evercreech Junction?

Ahh the S and D....Slow and Dirty to its friends.

I think you can scientifically prove a link between relationship break downs and the Town End! :)

As someone who's terminally unemployed and single it would be easy to take pleasure from lots of people falling into one boat or the other, or ripped apart and split into both.

However, I'm nice and take no satisfaction from it what so ever and I wish the best for all of you.

xxx

herthab and Jane? Seriously?!

(Sorry dude but that just seems wrong from my position - she was in my year at school!)

Im 38.........im with Herthab!!!!

Subtle, but I know what you mean!

sorry about everyones break ups, but i pulled not once but twice last night :)

Just an observation Sussex. you and birdy are teh only ones still together I think

ummm yes please jfw

One was a hamstring and one a calf muscle :)