The confessions (a.k.a the sexual adventures of Audrey & EldeneRed) thread

[Gethimout]

nowt wrong with a decent struggle cuddle.

I thought it was.... snuggle struggle?

[Honky McCracker]

I can run faster horny than they can scared.

[jimmy_onions]

When I noticed that 'Ray-pest' had posted in the 'confessions' thread, which had recently turned into a litany of sexual conquests and general mysongnistic filth, I wasnt expecting a story about a stolen digestive biscuit at a tea party.

I wasnt dissapointed.

[Nemo]

In context, it seems like a bit of confession to admit that I'm a girly lefty man who's currently in a bit of a sulk because his not even proper girlfriend has left the country for a few months to do charity work.

I suspect I need a prescription for manning up.

[magicroundabout]

nowt wrong with a decent struggle cuddle.

no girl could ever class it as rape because i'd of finished by the time she says NO

[Benzel]

I arrived home from a night out with an ex girlfriend, both of us were completely smashed.

I remember things getting a bit hot and heavy in my bed, I remember putting a condom on.

Then I woke up the next morning, she had underwear on and I never found the condom.

[magicroundabout]

i remember on millenium new year we had a house party in chippy.

Upon big ben ringing out for 12am we all had a massive group hug. I took this opportunity to grope my girlfriends mates tit. Till this day she never knew it was me nor did my mates realise I’d done it

[jayohaitchenn]

Aforementioned (now ex) girlfriend fell asleep during sex once, I finished anyway. I fucking hated that cunt.

[tans]

Upon big ben ringing out for 12am we all had a massive group hug. I took this opportunity to grope my girlfriends mates tit. Till this day she never knew it was me nor did my mates realise I’d done it

Dirty cunt touching my sister, she was only 14!

[magicroundabout]

she sucked my cock first

[chalkies_shorts]

In context, it seems like a bit of confession to admit that I'm a girly lefty man who's currently in a bit of a sulk because his not even proper girlfriend has left the country for a few months to do charity work.

I suspect I need a prescription for manning up.

Fucking great, you're free to shag whatever you want - get pissed whenever you want, eat shit bacon whenever you want. Nemo, its party time. Why should she go and help others when you've got to go withuot - selfish cow. 

[Nemo]

Thanks dad

[Jamiesfuturewife]

This thread is ace!!

Im trying to think of something suitable to add! 

[Samdy Gray]

When I was about 13, me and a mate accidentally set fire to a tree messing around with a can of deodorant and a lighter. We blamed it on a firework.

[Costanza]

In 2008 and 2009 I paid to watch WWE wrestling at Newcastle Metro Arena and enjoyed it both times.

I'd do it again.