Lets release a TEF statement

[Dazzza]

What a cracking old school thread.  

[STFCBird]

fuckin here here si pie

[mexico red]

dear board of stfc.

following the various statements you have released over the last few weeks, it would be churlish and disrespectful not to add our own salient points thickening the plot.

point 1. you have an electronic scoreboard, why not show porn at half time?

point 2. customer satisfaction would be guarnteed if on matchday following a loss you would allow sections of the crowd to go on a rampage, maybe section of an area of the arkells where we can smash up seats on a regular basis, or when we out number the away fans lets us run at them, thus relieving the tension which builds up and leads to board/fans splits.

point 3. a suggestion to improve performance, if the team loses a raffle takes place, the 'winner' has to make his girlfriend/wife suck of a pre picked member of the forum, depending on the importance of the game the forum good looking scale will be inforced, for example a not so glamarous match say against rochdale they would have to suck off the more glamorous members such as walrus or yeovil red. now for a crunch match say walsall or a cup tie against oxford the lucky ticket holder would have to suck off fatbury, surely a huge incentive to play better.

point 4 we can call you what we want when we want,its in the football supporters bill of rights section 3a paragraph 4 and i quote...
' any chairman or board member fucking gets its coz they are all rich cunts, standard.'

i hope you take these points on board and we can move forward to a brighter future

yours mexico red
supporter of the year 2005/6

[STFC Village]

Quality

[Bushey Boy]

this is the best thread in the two years I have been on here! I love si pies and mex's.  Keep it going

[Piemonte]

Dear STC board

I can think of no other industry where the board of directors, lead by the principal shareholder, effectivly tell a goup of their most loyal customers to shut the fuck up. Further than this, to then seemingly attempt a character assination on the leader of a suporters (customers) group is bordering on the ridiculous. Dark forces appear to be at work in the STFC boardroom.

This has lead me to believe that the reason for Mike Diamadis' public shyness is that he is actually A dark lord of the Sith.

I've always found the dark side of the force much more entertaining than the gayness of the Jedi so I would like to offer my suggestions for the eradication of this rebal scum my lord, Darth Diamandis.

1. Routine throttlings using the force for any anti-board chanting at games
2. Send stormtroopers to any rebel Trust STFC meetings
3. A light Sabre battle with the leader of the rebel scum; Paul Davis at half time on saturday. Once he has been slain, show porn on the scoreboard.
4. Star Destroyers to be deployed at games instead of that gay police chopper.
5. Fill the stratton bank with pro-empire (i mean board) Ewoks.  They may need to be "persuaded" however this should not be a problem.
6. Monitoring of communications channels (usually called internet message boards on this planet my lord) for anti-empire (damn, I mean board) sentiments. All disscenting voices to be rounded up and executed prior to next home game.
7. The team should run out to the imperial march (thanks VD85)
8. Construction of a new, scaled down space station should begin. After 2 failed attempts at the creation of a death star, a more usable day to day means of mass extermination of rebel trust STFC scum is required. To improve aerodynamics and landing capabilities, the top and bottom sections of the sphere should be removed to form....................The Death Pie
9. Imperial walkers should be used instad of police horses.
10. Dennis Wise should be trained in the arts of the dark side

DIE REBEL SCUM. LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE. ALL HAIL DARTH DIAMANDIS.



Yours faithfully,

Mr Pie Monte

[DribblingSissy]

Mexico Red still takes the prize ....but still made me chuckle!
 

[fatbury]

now for a crunch match say walsall or a cup tie against oxford the lucky ticket holder would have to suck off fatbury, surely a huge incentive to play better.

Now as we usually lose those ones id have to say I totally endorse this suggestion!

[DiV]

Dear STC board

I can think of no other industry where the board of directors, lead by the principal shareholder, effectivly tell a goup of their most loyal customers to shut the fuck up. Further than this, to then seemingly attempt a character assination on the leader of a suporters (customers) group is bordering on the ridiculous. Dark forces appear to be at work in the STFC boardroom.

This has lead me to believe that the reason for Mike Diamadis' public shyness is that he is actually A dark lord of the Sith.

I've always found the dark side of the force much more entertaining than the gayness of the Jedi so I would like to offer my suggestions for the eradication of this rebal scum my lord, Darth Diamandis.

1. Routine throttlings using the force for any anti-board chanting at games
2. Send stormtroopers to any rebel Trust STFC meetings
3. A light Sabre battle with the leader of the rebel scum; Paul Davis at half time on saturday. Once he has been slain, show porn on the scoreboard.
4. Star Destroyers to be deployed at games instead of that gay police chopper.
5. Fill the stratton bank with pro-empire (i mean board) Ewoks.  They may need to be "persuaded" however this should not be a problem.
6. Monitoring of communications channels (usually called internet message boards on this planet my lord) for anti-empire (damn, I mean board) sentiments. All disscenting voices to be rounded up and executed prior to next home game.

DIE REBEL SCUM. LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE. ALL HAIL DARTH DIAMANDIS.



Yours faithfully,

Mr Pie Monte

 

how long till the players run out to death march!

[Batch]

Following recent critisism I would like to make the following open statement:

     statements are the new black.

I will take it as a personal attack on myself if anybody disagrees that statements are from hereon the only form of acceptable communication between two parties.

Consider this a message to cease and dissist from any other form of communication (other than public statements). Failure to comply will result in me issuing another statement, and the hunting down and chinese burning of guilt parties (by the cover of darkness). remember, a statement a day keeps the critics at bay.

The bored (sic).

[Piemonte]

 
 

how long till the players run out to death march!

Good thinking VD.

You can be my padowan.

[larwood]

16) A deluxe rabbit for Larwood after he last one broke (probably).

 :shock:  
You been going through my knicker drawer again Si?

Ace thread,well done everyone

[Rich Pullen]

"Dearest Board,

Either Swindon Town FC will be ruled according to the ideas of our modern democracy, or the world will be dominated according to the natural law of force; in the latter case the people of brute force will be victorious.

Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer, ein Swindon."

http://myspace-373.vo.llnwd.net/01275/37/33/1275543373_l.jpg

[Panda Paws]

this is ace!!! Chris K is near enough spot on just not enough cunts for my liking!

Agreed.

Feel free to use it if you want ...

Give the board back some of the shit they've thrown our way of late.

[reeves4england]

I'm liking Mex's. Nice of him to slip in the Supporter of the Year bit at then end