leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #210 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:32:41 » |
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I saw a scottish mouse in my airing cupboard today.........it was on the pipes.
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27137
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« Reply #211 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:32:52 » |
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I shagged the arse off this deaf and dumb girl last night, I was so ashamed of myself this morning, I super glued her fingers together so she couldn't tell anyone.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #212 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:33:44 » |
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I saw a scottish mouse in my airing cupboard today.........it was on the pipes.
His German friend was on the tank.
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nochee
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« Reply #213 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:34:03 » |
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Tomorrow is the 9th anniversary of the terrible "terrorist" attack on the world trade centre, I think we should pay tribute to those who died by bringing everyone together....
by having a Jenga tournament
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Morgan Freeman
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Posts: 110
People enjoy the sound of my voice
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« Reply #214 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:35:49 » |
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I met this German man and in the back of his car he had a piece of meat, "that is my spare veal" he replied.
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16354
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« Reply #215 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:56:18 » |
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The missus gets a bit tetchy around her time of the month
Bloody Woman
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Went to pick up a copy of Cricket 2007 to find the disk had snapped. I've since sent it off to pakistan, apparently they're good at fixing cricket games
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Things get better but they never get good
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Arriba
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Posts: 21289
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« Reply #216 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:57:40 » |
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a couple of naked lesbians barged into the house and started wrestling with my wife today, while she was in the bath... I tried to fight them off but I could only knock one out
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Coca Fola
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« Reply #217 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 21:14:45 » |
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I was on Dragon's Den but got chucked out. Apparently asking Deborah Meaden to "fuck off and get me a sandwich while the men talk business" is unacceptable.
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Hitchinred
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Posts: 448
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« Reply #218 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 22:22:45 » |
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Jill Dando's boyfriend wanted a new front door but she was dead against it.
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Crispy
Pink Jumper For Goalpost
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Posts: 3041
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« Reply #219 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 22:41:04 » |
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Just been to my first muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!
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They've got muslamic rayguns, muslamic rayguns..
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59465
Things can only get better
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« Reply #220 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 09:39:34 » |
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I just heard on the news that gangs are now using dogs instead of knives.
I tried this and my toast was very hairy.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59465
Things can only get better
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« Reply #221 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 10:06:12 » |
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I went out with a ginger haired woman who had a Brazilian wax done....looked like she was balancing a fish finger on her minge!
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12533
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« Reply #222 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 10:14:00 » |
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Poor little Temitope, the African orphan... he has to walk nearly 15 miles a day to get water.
Bet he wishes he was a paki.
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #223 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 13:50:48 » |
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The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They asked "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked I answered, "Yes, that's her." They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident." I said "I know, but she has a lovely personality..."
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #224 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 13:51:23 » |
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What time did the Chinese man go to the dentist?
2:30.
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