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Author Topic: Friday Joke  (Read 108049 times)
leefer

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« Reply #210 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:32:41 »

I saw a scottish mouse in my airing cupboard today.........it was on the pipes.
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Samdy Gray
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« Reply #211 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:32:52 »

I shagged the arse off this deaf and dumb girl last night, I was so ashamed of myself this morning, I super glued her fingers together so she couldn't tell anyone.
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leefer

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« Reply #212 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:33:44 »

I saw a scottish mouse in my airing cupboard today.........it was on the pipes.

His German friend was on the tank.
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nochee

« Reply #213 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:34:03 »

Tomorrow is the 9th anniversary of the terrible "terrorist" attack on the world trade centre, I think we should pay tribute to those who died by bringing everyone together....

by having a Jenga tournament
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Morgan Freeman

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« Reply #214 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:35:49 »

I met this German man and in the back of his car he had a piece of meat, "that is my spare veal" he replied.
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Bogus Dave
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« Reply #215 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:56:18 »

The missus gets a bit tetchy around her time of the month

Bloody Woman

--------

Went to pick up a copy of Cricket 2007 to find the disk had snapped. I've since sent it off to pakistan, apparently they're good at fixing cricket games
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Things get better but they never get good
Arriba

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« Reply #216 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:57:40 »



a couple of naked lesbians barged into the house and started wrestling with my wife today, while she was in the bath... I tried to fight them off but I could only knock one out
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Coca Fola

« Reply #217 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 21:14:45 »

I was on Dragon's Den but got chucked out.

Apparently asking Deborah Meaden to "fuck off and get me a sandwich while the men talk business" is unacceptable.  Girl Giggle
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Hitchinred

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« Reply #218 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 22:22:45 »

Jill Dando's boyfriend wanted a new front door but she was dead against it.
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Crispy
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« Reply #219 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 22:41:04 »

Just been to my first muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!

 Doh
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They've got muslamic rayguns, muslamic rayguns..
Peter Venkman
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« Reply #220 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 09:39:34 »

I just heard on the news that gangs are now using dogs instead of knives.

I tried this and my toast was very hairy.
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #221 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 10:06:12 »

I went out with a ginger haired woman who had a Brazilian wax done....looked like she was balancing a fish finger on her minge!
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
jayohaitchenn
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« Reply #222 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 10:14:00 »

Poor little Temitope, the African orphan... he has to walk nearly 15 miles a day to get water.

Bet he wishes he was a paki.
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BANGKOK RED

« Reply #223 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 13:50:48 »

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They asked "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked I answered, "Yes, that's her."
They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident."
I said "I know, but she has a lovely personality..."
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BANGKOK RED

« Reply #224 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 13:51:23 »

What time did the Chinese man go to the dentist?

2:30.
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