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Author Topic: Offside explained in girls terms  (Read 2213 times)
land_of_bo

« on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 09:10:55 »

Finally, they can understand!

The Offside Rule Explained for Ladies

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.
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Luci

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« Reply #1 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 09:15:06 »

So what if the purse is thrown and no-one goes forward to pick it up as it is out of reach?  
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land_of_bo

« Reply #2 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 09:15:36 »

You miss out on the shoes, or someone steals the purse
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Luci

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« Reply #3 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 09:19:31 »

which technically is the equivalent of the ball being in a non offside position.........providing nobody chases the purse.........
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STFC Village

« Reply #4 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 11:06:40 »

Sorry, you've lost me there Shrug
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STFCBird
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« Reply #5 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 11:12:46 »

Quote from: "STFC Village"
Sorry, you've lost me there Shrug


Do you want me to drop off that handbag you wanted to borrow tonight?
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STFC Village

« Reply #6 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 11:18:25 »

If you can explain the offside rule as well........ :thumbs:
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strooood
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« Reply #7 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 11:21:01 »

Quote from: "STFCLady"
So what if the purse is thrown and no-one goes forward to pick it up as it is out of reach?  


goal kick  :nuts:
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officially blacker than the night.
Luci

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« Reply #8 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 11:22:02 »

Quote from: "STFC Village"
If you can explain the offside rule as well........ :thumbs:


 :fag:

And was attempting to see if bo would slip up! Wasn't actually looking for correct answers.
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Simon Pieman
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« Reply #9 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 13:16:30 »

It's all about the salt and pepper pots (and other condiments) when explaining the offside rule to women.
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Sade

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« Reply #10 on: Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 13:21:57 »

:shock:  Bo, I'm afraid that explanation would most probably confuse me more!

My dad showed me with the ketchup bottle, the brown sauce bottle and the mustard  Cool  Never forgot neither.
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