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Author Topic: We havent had a joke thread in ages!  (Read 3821 times)
Rossi

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« Reply #30 on: Wednesday, September 21, 2005, 16:49:09 »

Quote from: "sade"
A classic.................what do you call a women with one leg?

Eileen..... Cheesy still makes me laugh.

What do you call a boy with a paper bag on his head?




















Russel
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Sade

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« Reply #31 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 10:54:45 »

Soapy Tit Wank hahaha!I'm sure I could make loads of ones like that up just on the spot!
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walrus

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« Reply #32 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:01:38 »

What do you call a ball with a 1 inch willy?

















Justin  :|
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Mexicano Rojo

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« Reply #33 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:07:52 »

wheres the soap? i do believe it is using a play on letters spazzers as in to ware something out, or when something is worn out.

jesus sometimes i wonder about this forum.
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walrus

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« Reply #34 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:19:35 »

Quote from: "mexico red"
wheres the soap? i do believe it is using a play on letters spazzers as in to ware something out, or when something is worn out.

jesus sometimes i wonder about this forum.


I got it, but had to think about it, but it is a bit of a crap joke - it's more of a spoken one than a written one.

Not a joke but funny:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their #### to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. so what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
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janaage
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« Reply #35 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:23:09 »

8, 9, 10, 11 and 13 are shit.  Actually most of them are shit.  What comedian came up with those?

Isn't it "life's too short" btw?
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walrus

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« Reply #36 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:25:12 »

Quote from: "janaage"
8, 9, 10, 11 and 13 are shit.  Actually most of them are shit.  What comedian came up with those?

Isn't it "life's too short" btw?


The legend Billy Connolly.  I thought most were quite funny, particularly 13.  You're not a McDonald's worker Jan are you?!
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Sade

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« Reply #37 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:25:59 »

I do number 12 alot,especially when I've been drinking Oops
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walrus

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« Reply #38 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:27:29 »

Quote from: "sade"
I do number 12 alot,especially when I've been drinking Oops

So do I, though it's alright for me as I'm a bloke.  Very unladylike of you!   Cheesy
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Sade

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« Reply #39 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:29:59 »

Soapy Tit Wank I know,I got a bit like that a few weekends ago and was sat in a bar with my cousins and I apparently announced/shouted 'Right girls I'm going for a piss now,save my seat'  Oops  :| maybe I should not of said that!
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janaage
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« Reply #40 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 11:33:05 »

Really, that's the big Yin?  Surprised, i like his stuff usually, but I though half of those were toss.

No never been a Maccie D's worker thanks.
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Bedford Red

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« Reply #41 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 18:58:53 »

I thought they were quite funny, I've got some of Billy Connelly's video's, think he's really good.
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sonicyouth

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« Reply #42 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 19:06:57 »

How do you sell a lamb to a deaf man?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A LAMB?
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Boeta

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« Reply #43 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 19:48:14 »

Quote from: "sonicyouth"
How do you sell a lamb to a deaf man?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A LAMB?

Just because a man's deaf doesn't mean you need to use size 24 font. That would be if he's partially sighted  Shocked
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Whits
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« Reply #44 on: Thursday, September 22, 2005, 21:58:22 »

What do you do once you've had a baby?






































put the nappy back on  :|
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Plays in midfield and his name is Tommy Miller,
signed him from Huddersfield his name is Tommy Miller,
first touch is average but his second is a killer,
heeeeeey Tommy Miller!
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