Netherlands manager 'ch-easy' after friendly

The Daily Stain caught up with the Netherlands team manager Talk Talk after their friendly with the Ivory Coast.

In between munching chunks of Gouda he said:

"I would like to thank Nemo and his team for the match and the good spirit in which it was played. I really think that the Ivory Coast have been underrated and I expect them to be the suprise of Group C.

"Amanda won it for us. As full (on her) back she took a good hammering but kept her legs open and handled all penetration attempts admirably.

"As usual, veteran Carice's assets stood out and they were a pleasure for everybody to see. She is probably just a bit too old to progress further in the competition against younger opposition, but we shall have another good look at her before deciding.

"I was disappointed with Claire to be honest, she was a bit too laid back and didn't offer much in the final third so we won't be fielding her again in this World Cup.

"I thought Flashheart the tournament referee had a good game. It was also interesting to listen in to the other managers comments in the stands at this early stage to get an idea of their thinking.

"Oh and it is pretty obvious that DMR is no Alan Hansen, the correct phrase is 'you can't win anything with fat slags', so don't pay any attention to him in the future."

Talk Talk then left to track down some Edam cubes with pineapple on sticks.