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china red
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« on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 16:55:45 » |
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So Saturday is my wedding and its traditional for the groom to give a speech here. I have no fucking idea at all what to say. Do I go for the comic route with a PPT (ending in a picture of my wife wearing a pair or knickers on her head) or the romantic lovey dovey bullshitty thing? 200 people, 15 white and 185 locals (50% who speak no English), left it all till the last minute and completely shitting myself now.
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THE FLASH
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Posts: 9609
Quick as a Flash!
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« Reply #1 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 17:16:28 » |
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Sing this...
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Clems Army!
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ronnie21
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The Mighty Hankerton
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« Reply #2 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 17:21:25 » |
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And don't forget the Chinese way of things - they chop your balls off if you get caught shagging the bridesmaids!!!
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Only Me
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« Reply #3 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 17:41:25 » |
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So Saturday is my wedding and its traditional for the groom to give a speech here. I have no fucking idea at all what to say. Do I go for the comic route with a PPT (ending in a picture of my wife wearing a pair or knickers on her head) or the romantic lovey dovey bullshitty thing? 200 people, 15 white and 185 locals (50% who speak no English), left it all till the last minute and completely shitting myself now.
Best of luck. Hope it goes well for you.   |
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Batch
Not a Batch
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« Reply #4 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 17:46:14 » |
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Congratulations. Is it the Chinese tradition where the bride wears red? 185 locals (50% who speak no English)
If you keep it short at least 92 1/2 people will be happy  |
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #5 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 17:55:01 » |
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If 50% don't speak English.....then the plus point is that 50% DO speak English |
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Not that Nice If I'm Honest
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« Reply #6 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 18:28:39 » |
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Opening line for you -
Apologies if I seem nervous today, but I've been nervous about today ever since the date was fixed.
And as it's got closer, I've got more and more nervous. I know there's nothing to worry about, but it's been praying on my mind for ages.................................
....................having said that, if Benson is fit, and we can get plenty of service to the wingers, then we should beat the Pikeys easily.
(I did something similar when my wedding clashed with a rugby World cup game, and it went down a storm)
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Ardiles
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Stirlingshire Reds
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« Reply #7 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 18:30:27 » |
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This is a probable first for the TEF - because never before can I remember advice being solicited for a Chinese best man speech. Sadly, I do not have the faintest idea what the form is out there. Do they like a bit of humour, romance, or a stiff upper lip?
The other China-based fella on here (ChinaWhite&Red?) may have some better advice for you. All I can do is wish you all the best, hope you enjoy your big day and then have a wonderful life together. If it is anything like mine, it will go by in a flash - so take some time to sit back and enjoy it if you can.
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Not that Nice If I'm Honest
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« Reply #8 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 18:31:05 » |
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Another good one (this assumes you haven't been married before) is to keep refering to her as your "first wife" rather than your wife.
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SuggWillSugg MBE
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« Reply #9 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 18:32:50 » |
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Another good one (this assumes you haven't been married before) is to keep refering to her as your "first wife" rather than your wife.
Or Current Wife.. |
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hobnob
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« Reply #10 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 18:41:20 » |
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I got married in China and had the same problems, all worked out fine tho.
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Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia
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« Reply #11 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 19:27:57 » |
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So Saturday is my wedding and its traditional for the groom to give a speech here.
Isn't it traditional in Blighty as well...I ended up doing one, I'd have rather not bothered? |
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janaage
People's Front of Alba
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« Reply #12 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 19:36:36 » |
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Why not do a meaningless speech with loads of random photo's in there. Confuse the hell out of all of them and enjoy the expressions on their chinese faces as you deliver.
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Coca Fola
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« Reply #13 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 20:54:22 » |
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This reminds me of the time I tried to explain the concept of comedy to 3 Chinese girls. They had no idea what I was talking about, apparently there isn't a word for comedy in Chinese. They didn't understand sarcasm either, I managed to convince them that making jokes on a weekday was a criminal offence in the UK.
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janaage
People's Front of Alba
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« Reply #14 on: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 20:59:14 » |
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We convinced an American friend of ours that had just arrived in the UK for a year's secondment that in the UK you can only get done for rape if both of you didn't consent. If one of you wanted it, it's fine.
We did let him know that that wasn't true before he started his new role.
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