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Asher
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« on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 15:11:53 » |
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The year is 2015 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.
SON "Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the European Cup
for
the 5th time in 2005 - are they right dad?
DAD "Yes son, it's true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through
the tournament"
SON "Why dad?"
DAD "Well in the group stages ....."
SON "What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Ireland in
their group?"
DAD "Well no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and Olympiakos"
SON "Well they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dad"
DAD "Actually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won
their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivo finished
above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their league".
SON "Jeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group then".
DAD "yeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky - it took a
miracle shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get through".
SON "oh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk shouting
"you
beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!"
DAD "yes son it is"
SON "oh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did they draw?"
DAD "Bayer Leverkusen"
SON "Bayer who?"
DAD "Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won
their
group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too."
SON "fuckin hell dad, they sound good".
DAD "yes, I suppose you're right son"
SON "so did they win on away goals or something"
DAD "errrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 each"
SON "oh - well who next then dad"
DAD "Juventus"
SON "How did they get past them Dad?"
DAD "Well they did - they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw
without Juve having hardly any chances".
SON "were Juve shit at that time - had all their decent players gone or
something?"
DAD "well actually they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved,
Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few
weeks later."
SON "wow, they beat the Italian champions elect - which shit easy team did
they get in the semi then?"
DAD "Chelsea"
SON "Chelsea - what a shit easy draw - they've won nothing, Everton have
won
more than them".
DAD "well that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the Red
bastards didn't let them score in 180 minutes of football"
SON "Jesus Christ - so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect too"
DAD "yes son, they fuckin well did".
SON "so after all that I suppose all the good teams had been knocked out"
DAD "not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the final"
SON "no way - aren't they the 2nd most successful team in the competition's
history".
DAD "yes son they are"
SON "so were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out
with injuries"
DAD "no - they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam,
Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorf".
SON "your 'avin a laff"
DAD "it gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-time".
SON "what happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half - how
did Liverpool get back into the game?"
DAD "no, Milan had no men sent off, the Red bastards scored 3 goals in 6
minutes"
SON "against the best defence in Europe"
DAD "yes!!!, against the best defence in Europe"
SON "so what happened next - extra time?"
DAD "yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko
shot from a yard"
SON "why was it lucky dad - did it hit him on the arse, nose, shoulder or
something"
DAD "no son, his hand"
SON "well aren't goalies meant to save shots with their hands"
DAD "yeah but that's besides the point"
SON "then what"
DAD "penalties!"
SON "English teams are crap at penalties"
DAD "not this time they weren't - they only missed one. And that's how
Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cup".
SON "but I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to
watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many
was there, 5,,000 or so?"
DAD "1 million people lined the streets".
SON "so let's get this straight dad - Liverpool had 3 good teams in their
group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they
then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future
Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the 2nd
most
successful club in Europe. And then the whole population of Liverpool came
out to welcome them home!!!!
DAD "that about sums it up son"
SON "dad?"
DAD "yes son"
SON "can I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and can you
stop calling me Duncan - I'm Stevie from now on"
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hansgruber
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Posts: 1606
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« Reply #1 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 15:53:42 » |
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is that a joke? It's gone way over my head. :?
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Asher
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« Reply #2 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 15:56:08 » |
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Its meant to be taking the piss out of people who think liverpool were lucky
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hansgruber
Offline
Posts: 1606
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« Reply #3 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 15:58:35 » |
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I got that bit. I was just waiting for the punchline! Sorry - it's too hot for irony.
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark
Offline
Posts: 25436
Absolute Calamity!
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« Reply #4 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 16:17:07 » |
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Well, I liked it and so did my Dad
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Ben Wah Balls
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Posts: 5972
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« Reply #5 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 16:29:24 » |
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Lets be honest though they were lucky....how they got through that semi-final I really don't know.
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Spud
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« Reply #6 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 16:36:01 » |
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Liverpool were lucky!  |
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Johno
Offline
Posts: 5927
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« Reply #7 on: Thursday, July 14, 2005, 16:43:32 » |
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thats actually quite good... liking it!
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janaage
People's Front of Alba
Offline
Posts: 14825
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« Reply #8 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 12:18:29 » |
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Despite my irrational hatred of all things scouse (PM I can hear you ywning from here) I liked that, a lot. Fair play to them.
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Piemonte
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« Reply #9 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 13:27:26 » |
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I'm not sure thats really a joke (they're supposed to be funny  ) but it does show that Liverpool wernt quite as lucky as some make out. They were in the final though. |
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DMR
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« Reply #10 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 13:35:09 » |
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asher that's shit
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Asher
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« Reply #11 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 13:38:26 » |
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Right fuck you all, how do I delete a topic!
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DMR
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« Reply #12 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 13:47:22 » |
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you can't delete a topic once it has replies, you'll just have to edit it
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DMR
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« Reply #13 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 13:47:56 » |
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The year is 2015 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.
SON "Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the European Cup
for
the 5th time in 2005 - are they right dad?
DAD "Yes son, it's true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through
the tournament"
SON "Why dad?"
DAD "Well in the group stages ....."
SON "What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Ireland in
their group?"
DAD "Well no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and Olympiakos"
SON "Well they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dad"
DAD "Actually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won
their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivo finished
above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their league".
SON "Jeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group then".
DAD "yeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky - it took a
miracle shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get through".
SON "oh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk shouting
"you
beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!"
DAD "yes son it is"
SON "oh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did they draw?"
DAD "Bayer Leverkusen"
SON "Bayer who?"
DAD "Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won
their
group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too."
SON "fuckin hell dad, they sound good".
DAD "yes, I suppose you're right son"
SON "so did they win on away goals or something"
DAD "errrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 each"
SON "oh - well who next then dad"
DAD "Juventus"
SON "How did they get past them Dad?"
DAD "Well they did - they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw
without Juve having hardly any chances".
SON "were Juve shit at that time - had all their decent players gone or
something?"
DAD "well actually they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved,
Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few
weeks later."
SON "wow, they beat the Italian champions elect - which shit easy team did
they get in the semi then?"
DAD "Chelsea"
SON "Chelsea - what a shit easy draw - they've won nothing, Everton have
won
more than them".
DAD "well that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the Red
bastards didn't let them score in 180 minutes of football"
SON "Jesus Christ - so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect too"
DAD "yes son, they fuckin well did".
SON "so after all that I suppose all the good teams had been knocked out"
DAD "not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the final"
SON "no way - aren't they the 2nd most successful team in the competition's
history".
DAD "yes son they are"
SON "so were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out
with injuries"
DAD "no - they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam,
Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorf".
SON "your 'avin a laff"
DAD "it gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-time".
SON "what happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half - how
did Liverpool get back into the game?"
DAD "no, Milan had no men sent off, the Red bastards scored 3 goals in 6
minutes"
SON "against the best defence in Europe"
DAD "yes!!!, against the best defence in Europe"
SON "so what happened next - extra time?"
DAD "yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko
shot from a yard"
SON "why was it lucky dad - did it hit him on the arse, nose, shoulder or
something"
DAD "no son, his hand"
SON "well aren't goalies meant to save shots with their hands"
DAD "yeah but that's besides the point"
SON "then what"
DAD "penalties!"
SON "English teams are crap at penalties"
DAD "not this time they weren't - they only missed one. And that's how
Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cup".
SON "but I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to
watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many
was there, 5,,000 or so?"
DAD "1 million people lined the streets".
SON "so let's get this straight dad - Liverpool had 3 good teams in their
group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they
then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future
Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the 2nd
most
successful club in Europe. And then the whole population of Liverpool came
out to welcome them home!!!!
DAD "that about sums it up son"
SON "dad?"
DAD "yes son"
SON "can I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and can you
stop calling me Duncan - I'm Stevie from now on" i'll quote it, just incase you decide to delete it :grin: |
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Asher
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« Reply #14 on: Friday, July 15, 2005, 14:27:53 » |
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Cheers
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