The Cen(s)us

[chalkies_shorts]

Oh, forgot to say we are going to use all the information to hunt you all down and feast on your livers. Or something like that.

You're welcome to my liver but if you feast on it you will die a painful and alcoholic death

[Sippo]

Q17

[BANGKOK RED]

Haha

Sippo you Rick Astley loving cunt.

[Benzel]

I don't have one??

[pauld]

I don't have one??

A census form, a question 17, a liver or a cunt?

[Benzel]

A census form, a question 17, a liver or a cunt?

Was 3 from 4, but I've just been downstairs and it turns it the census arrived today!

[Bennett]

i'm confused...what part of the laws of this country say we must fill out this piece of shit?

[4D]

I've just seen this thread and I actually work for Office for National Statistics, who do the census - although I don't work on it or even in the same site. But just to answer one or two of the questions on here - and this isn't in an official answer or owt. Lockheed Martin are handling forms, true but LM uk. It is a seperate company and so the data isn't covered by the Patriot Act.   

Also as far as I remember the missing question is because the Welsh version has a question there and rather than a 26a, it is just called 27 and left blank on the English.

If you want to see some census from Darwin, Dickens, Churchill etc and some terrible old web design that was ten years out of date in even 2001 go to http://www.statistics.gov.uk/census2001/bicentenary/census_hall.html

  Do you know why that version would have an extra question?

[Batch]

Do you know why that version would have an extra question?

People in Wales will have an extra question about the Welsh language.

Is it
a) Pointless
b) Redundant
c) Inferior
d) All of the above.

17 Can you understand, speak, read or write Welsh?
 
• Understand spoken Welsh
• Speak Welsh
• Read Welsh
• Write Welsh
• None of the above

[4D]

I guess Billy Shears got this version 

[deltaincline]

i'm confused...what part of the laws of this country say we must fill out this piece of shit?

If one of these retards knock on your door, insisting that you fill in the census, how are they going to even know who you are? You could be anyone. They need a name to even think about trying to prosecute. Your house could be rented out to anyone....

If you can be arsed to answer the door to the dopey cunts, or you get caught out thinking it was someone you know at the door, ask them if your obliged under law to tell them your name. Whatever they tell you, you are not obliged under any fucking law to give your name to anyone - unless you are suspected of committing a crime, and even that's debatable.

Remember to be polite when telling them to fuck off. Then just shut the door.

Any more letters or forms come through the post, just post them back to wherever they came from marked return to sender.

If they come back, do the same.

If you really want to fuck them up but don't want to risk the pathetic threat of prosecution, fill the form in with whatever you feel you want to put down, then rub a colourless candle gently over the 'OFFICE USE ONLY' sections

[Jamiesfuturewife]

Wow you've really thought about that??!

[Samdy Gray]

If one of these retards knock on your door, insisting that you fill in the census, how are they going to even know who you are? You could be anyone. They need a name to even think about trying to prosecute. Your house could be rented out to anyone....

It doesn't matter who you are, they are just addressed to 'the occupier' because they need one census per household completed.

And you really think the govt. can't find out who you are, by just typing your address into one of thousands of databases? Yeah, good luck with that.

[Ardiles]

...which is the supreme irony of it all.  Government already has all the info on you that it could possibly need.  They just can't be bothered to ask their jobsworths at the Department of Whatever to pull their fingers out of their arses for 5 minutes and collate it in to a useable format.  Because the unions might get chopsy.

Instead, they get a load of other jobsworths at the Department of Something Else to send paper forms (yes folks...it's 2011) to the whole ####ing country....to ask a raft of pointless (see above) questions that they already know the answers to anyway.

[Barnard]

i'm confused...what part of the laws of this country say we must fill out this piece of shit?

The legal requirement to complete and return a census questionnaire is set out in Section 8 (1) of the Census Act 1920 and by the Census (England and Wales) Order 2009, Census (England) Regulations 2010 and Census (Wales) Regulations 2010.

No one can escape the Census police for long.