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My Mate
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Topic: My Mate (Read 1081 times)
leefer
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Posts: 12851
My Mate
«
on:
Monday, August 9, 2010, 17:30:49 »
Having to fork out over a five pound note for a jar of marmite got me thinking....it inspired me to write about my mate marmite.
I was brought up from the age of twelve in the Limes children's home in Stratton,this was a mixed home for boys and girls....from broken homes or in some cases the lads were naughty,stealing cars or constant stealing etc.
I was fostered before this from being a baby by a couple in the Fred and Rose West mould so although the Limes had a strict regime in many ways it was a doddle compared to what went before.
Anyway being the oldest boy for a while i had the run of the place..untill of course Marmite turned up.
My first sighting of him was him standing there with doc martens and a denim jacket looking a real hard case.
He had goofy teeth that seemed to oooze a nasty brown discharge that crusted around his mouth to form a marmite look...hence his nickname,he had a weird looking face that reminds me to this day of a fucked up looking Amy Winehouse.
Anyway Marmite soon started using his large Doc Matins on my shin on a regular basis which got me thinking of reprisals that wouldn't damage my health....it came to a head one night and as we were in the same dorm i hatched my plan.
One night when Marmite was flat out and with his nasal problems sounding like two Asthmatics having loud sex i crept forward and pinched his nostrils together tightly...within seconds the lack of air woke Marmite up in shock and his eyes were bulging and arms a flailing...so i did the most natural thing i could think of in the circumstances...smacked him in the face with a heavy book and warning him that if he kept picking on me the nostrils will get it again.
I dreaded the next morning but he had got the message,we got fairly friendly untill i found out why he was in the home....ARSON!
Bearing in mind i was sharing sleeping quarters with marmite it was a shock and many mornings i woke up to bright orange sunshine in the room thinking he was burning the fucking home down...didn't sleep for months.
To be fair to Marmite i also found out his mum died of a drugs overdose and that his dad beat him to within his life.
Marmite real name Wayne left after about a year to go to another home in Salisbury...i actually did miss his company at first and sadly i heard years later he had died in a motorbike crash...always thought something like that may happen.
A very sad lad who many years later makes me smile and laugh at his antics,i wont forget Marmite.
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BANGKOK RED
Re: My Mate
«
Reply #1 on:
Monday, August 9, 2010, 17:37:23 »
Leefer. You are by far the best story teller not only on the TEF but on other forums that I frequent as well. In fact, a smile came to my face the moment I saw this as I suspected it was one of your stories.
RIP marmite.
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alanmayes
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Posts: 1437
Re: My Mate
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Reply #2 on:
Monday, August 9, 2010, 17:56:54 »
Well done Leefer,good to see you back in the groove again.
RIP Marmite,but he left you with some great memories.
To cheer you up even more,we're going to win tomorrow night!
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"It's not delusions of grandeur sir,it's intolerance of mediocrity and minimal performances."
Batch
Not a Batch
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Posts: 57836
Re: My Mate
«
Reply #3 on:
Monday, August 9, 2010, 18:25:17 »
I swear one day I'm going to trawl the TEF, find them out, and make a Leefer stories thread. Always entertaining.
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Arch Stanton
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Posts: 1306
Wallowing in negativity
Re: My Mate
«
Reply #4 on:
Monday, August 9, 2010, 18:27:48 »
Quote from: leefer on Monday, August 9, 2010, 17:30:49
he had a weird looking face that reminds me to this day of a fucked up looking Amy Winehouse.
A great line, an immediate classic. I was giggling like a schoolgirl when I read it.
Put all these Leefer stories together and it'll make a great book.
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