What you really actually did that???
Dear Mr Fitton,
Re: Influx of Vuvuzelas in English Football post World Cup
As you are most probably aware, this summer’s World Cup has seen the arrival of the Vuvuzela onto the football scene. Although I imagine a cult section of fans will embrace the Vuvuzela during the upcoming season, I am confident I speak for the vast majority of Swindon fans when I say that these odious horns will only prove to be an unbearable sufferance if permitted within our football ground.
I am writing to you in order to gain your personal assurance that the County Ground will become a Vuvuzela free zone. You yourself have stated that we should be targeting regular attendances of up to 12,000 fans; I fear this target to be insurmountable if the Vuvuzela is to be allowed into the County Ground. A high volume of fans will no doubt be driven away by one selfish individual’s wish to express their support by making probably the most hateful noise ever associated with football since the infamous John Barnes rap.
I’d like to suggest the placement of Snipers on top of each of the 4 flood light gantries to pick off the offending characters. Alternatively, an offer could be made to Longleat Wildlife Park on a match by match basis. A specially trained predatory animal (a Lion would be my personal preference, but a Leopard would also suffice) could be hired to seek out the woeful drone and deal with the offender as his nature dictates. Another way for offenders to be punished for inflicting the hateful racket and also to deter would be offenders would be to introduce ‘insertion techniques’. Whereby the offender learns a valuable lesson and the Vuvuzela is rendered unfit for its purposes during the process.
I am sure you realise the importance of this issue and I would be extremely grateful if you would raise the matter with Mr Watkins, Mr Wilson and your other associates at the next board meeting.
I’d like to close by extending my gratitude for everything you and your board have done for the Swindon Town. The positive attitude of your board members has been second to none and I speak for many Swindon fans when I say, the board is the best thing that has happened to club in a very long time. Keep up the good work.
Yours Sincerely,
George Brown
