jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #285 on: Friday, December 3, 2010, 22:38:04 » |
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My wife asked where i would like to be buried.
Face first in Cheryl Coles pussy wasn't the answer she was expecting.
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Sepp Blatter was asked who his favorite Qatar player was.
He replied Jimi Hendrix.
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6481
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« Reply #286 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:15:59 » |
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I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart
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Never knowingly overstated.
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6481
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« Reply #287 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:16:27 » |
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It was so cold this morning I had to scrape the
ice off my windscreen with my Homebase discount
card. It wasn't much use though - I only got 10% off
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Never knowingly overstated.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12829
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« Reply #288 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:35:49 » |
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I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year.
It generally runs ok, but every now and
then it falls apart
I'm nicking that. |
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6481
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« Reply #289 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:39:29 » |
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I nicked it off of popbitch so you're welcome to it!
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Never knowingly overstated.
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27180
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« Reply #290 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 11:45:45 » |
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After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.
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Nemo
Shit Bacon
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Posts: 23559
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« Reply #291 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:07:13 » |
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Or a similar note, Ricky Ponting also tried to throw himself off a cliff, but Paul Collingwood caught him.
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pauld
Aaron Aardvark
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Posts: 25436
Absolute Calamity!
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« Reply #292 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:10:36 » |
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(Shamelessly stolen off the radio)
What does Mitchell Johnson put in his hand to guarantee a wicket in the next over?
His bat
What's the definition of blind optimism?
Aussie opening batsman putting on sun block
What's the difference between the Ashes and a boomerang?
The Aussies can get boomerangs to come back
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64623
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #293 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:12:42 » |
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After his awful bowling performances in the Ashes series, Mitchell Johnson last night attempted to throw himself over a cliff. And missed.
On a similar note..... What do you call an Aussie thats good with the bat? A vet. |
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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santasdead
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« Reply #294 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:16:23 » |
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What do you call World Class Australian Cricketers?
Retired.
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
Offline
Posts: 64623
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #295 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:17:36 » |
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The West Ham board have said that they don't know who will be in charge for Tuesday's match with Birmingham.
My money is on Birmingham.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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bullethead
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Posts: 296
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« Reply #296 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:40:18 » |
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What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand....
A waiter.
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land_of_bo
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« Reply #297 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:25:05 » |
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Most Chelsea fans haven't seen a run of form this bad since they were Fulham fans.
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #298 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 13:47:32 » |
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Police in Bristol investigating Joanna Yates case say the murderer stole one of her socks. Am i the only one thinking " Heather Mills "  |
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #299 on: Friday, January 7, 2011, 15:06:15 » |
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I'm nicking that.
I bought a car from Chris De Burgh......it was a Lada in Red. |
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