leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #210 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:32:41 » |
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I saw a scottish mouse in my airing cupboard today.........it was on the pipes.
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27180
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« Reply #211 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:32:52 » |
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I shagged the arse off this deaf and dumb girl last night, I was so ashamed of myself this morning, I super glued her fingers together so she couldn't tell anyone.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #212 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:33:44 » |
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I saw a scottish mouse in my airing cupboard today.........it was on the pipes.
His German friend was on the tank. |
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nochee
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« Reply #213 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:34:03 » |
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Tomorrow is the 9th anniversary of the terrible "terrorist" attack on the world trade centre, I think we should pay tribute to those who died by bringing everyone together....
by having a Jenga tournament
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Morgan Freeman
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Posts: 110
People enjoy the sound of my voice
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« Reply #214 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:35:49 » |
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I met this German man and in the back of his car he had a piece of meat, "that is my spare veal" he replied.
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16467
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« Reply #215 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:56:18 » |
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The missus gets a bit tetchy around her time of the month
Bloody Woman
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Went to pick up a copy of Cricket 2007 to find the disk had snapped. I've since sent it off to pakistan, apparently they're good at fixing cricket games
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Things get better but they never get good
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Arriba
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Posts: 21305
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« Reply #216 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:57:40 » |
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a couple of naked lesbians barged into the house and started wrestling with my wife today, while she was in the bath... I tried to fight them off but I could only knock one out
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Coca Fola
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« Reply #217 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 21:14:45 » |
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I was on Dragon's Den but got chucked out. Apparently asking Deborah Meaden to "fuck off and get me a sandwich while the men talk business" is unacceptable.  |
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Hitchinred
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Posts: 461
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« Reply #218 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 22:22:45 » |
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Jill Dando's boyfriend wanted a new front door but she was dead against it.
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Crispy
Pink Jumper For Goalpost
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Posts: 3065
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« Reply #219 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 22:41:04 » |
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Just been to my first muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!  |
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They've got muslamic rayguns, muslamic rayguns..
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64626
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #220 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 09:39:34 » |
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I just heard on the news that gangs are now using dogs instead of knives.
I tried this and my toast was very hairy.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64626
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #221 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 10:06:12 » |
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I went out with a ginger haired woman who had a Brazilian wax done....looked like she was balancing a fish finger on her minge!
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12829
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« Reply #222 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 10:14:00 » |
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Poor little Temitope, the African orphan... he has to walk nearly 15 miles a day to get water.
Bet he wishes he was a paki.
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #223 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 13:50:48 » |
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The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They asked "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked I answered, "Yes, that's her."
They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident."
I said "I know, but she has a lovely personality..."
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #224 on: Saturday, September 11, 2010, 13:51:23 » |
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What time did the Chinese man go to the dentist?
2:30.
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