jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #195 on: Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 20:45:17 » |
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The new man city advert.
Webuyanycunt.com
Webuyanycunt.com
Webuyanycunt.com any any any
Webuyanycunt.com -- any race, any size, any age, any price from £50 to a hundred mil.
Enter your squad number now at Webuyanycunt.com
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ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
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Posts: 3857
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« Reply #196 on: Wednesday, August 25, 2010, 22:25:55 » |
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If a tree falls and kills a woman, what was she doing out of the kitchen?
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
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Jean-Francois is God
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« Reply #197 on: Thursday, August 26, 2010, 08:47:24 » |
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No wonder you manage to charm all the ladies with humour like that my friend.
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Sussex
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« Reply #198 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:04:34 » |
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My mate is in love with two school bags.
Reckons he's bi-satchel.
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Morgan Freeman
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Posts: 110
People enjoy the sound of my voice
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« Reply #199 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:07:29 » |
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My mate is in love with two school bags.
Reckons he's bi-satchel.
Did you get that from Tim Vine? I went to the butchers the other day and the butcher said 'I bet you £5 you can't guess the weight of that meat on the top shelf'. ' I'm not gambling.' I said, 'The steaks are too high. |
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« Last Edit: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:18:22 by Morgan Freeman »
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
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Posts: 64623
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #200 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:10:48 » |
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My son came home from school looking all excited.
"I got a B on my reading test," he told me.
"That's a fucking F," I replied.
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Processed Beats
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Posts: 3056
I drop beats from this processed meat.
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« Reply #201 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:15:44 » |
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I'm downloading the Qu'ran from an ebook site. I've got a slow connection but it should be done by Saturday the 11th. I'm putting it on disk, if anyone wants one I can burn a few copies?
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27180
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« Reply #202 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:21:21 » |
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I was busy having sex with the wife when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I hate fucking in the bath.
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Peter Venkman
Past glories motivate us when times are bleak.
Offline
Posts: 64623
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #203 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:22:09 » |
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Was asked to go see my Ex-Girlfriend today.
One thing led to another and we ended up having sex.
police weren't too happy though
I was only supposed to identify the body
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From the station at Colchester
To the cells of Warrington
From the services at Leicester
To the slums of Northampton
We travel over England
And one day Europe too
Cos we all follow the Swindon
We're the famous Town End crew.
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Sussex
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« Reply #204 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:22:58 » |
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I played football on a plane once.
There I was, running down the wing..
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Sussex
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« Reply #205 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:26:09 » |
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Velcro.
What a rip off that is.
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Morgan Freeman
Offline
Posts: 110
People enjoy the sound of my voice
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« Reply #206 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:27:46 » |
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You invented Tipp Ex, correct me if I'm wrong.
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Sussex
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« Reply #207 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:28:15 » |
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Alphabet grenades.
They can spell disaster.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #208 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:29:02 » |
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Paul Mcartney once got his ex wife Heather Mills a plane for Christmas...took 2 inches off her inside leg.
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Morgan Freeman
Offline
Posts: 110
People enjoy the sound of my voice
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« Reply #209 on: Friday, September 10, 2010, 19:30:54 » |
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I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...' ..
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