Thanks

[spacey]

This time of year is a time for reflection, a time when people look back and attempt to pinpoint where they have failed and try to come to terms with the fact that their lives haven't turned out as they'd hoped. Not me though, I'm handsome, witty, intelligent and fashionable. I have a lovely wife who lets me have full access to the TV remote on Wednesdays on the condition that I take the bins out, and 2 fantastic children who make me appreciate every second of every day, even the ones that I should be spending in bed because it's 6 in the morning and I'm not really that bothered about whether Thomas the Tank Engine is going to make all his deliveries in time.

It must get pretty boring for you to constantly read people waxing lyrical about how great I am, "You're so funny!" They say. "You're so intelligent!" They cry. "I'm going to stab you!" They threaten.

I felt that maybe it was time for other people to receive some praise for their contribution to the forum. Whether it be Dave Russell carrying on like a 15 year old who's recently discovered his grandad's stash of homemade gooseberry wine or Billy Shears enthralling us with tales of what he had for tea and saying "T'is" and "T'was" a lot which quite frankly gets right on my fucking nerves.

People, crazy people, may try and tell you that the forum is not as good as it used to be, but friends, let me reassure you that it's always been a bit shit, it's just that the novelty has warn off. No matter how much we might moan about it, we all come back for more. It's like a bad habit you can't shake like smoking cigarettes or bumming dead badgers.

I'd like to thank each and every one of you for making the time that I spend at work a tiny fraction less tedious than it is. If it wasn't for your pointless ramblings about football or whatever, I'd have to spend more time talking to the fella that sits next to me and between you and me if I have to listen to him accuse any foreign looking fella that walks passed with a rucksack of being a suicide bomber or moaning that he just walked into the gents after some Indian fella and it smelt of curry. Like it smells of fucking roses after he's been in there! I went in there after him once and there were flies banging against the window.......trying to get out! Give me curry anyday.

Anyway, I've successfully managed to waste 5 minutes of my working day with that nonsense, so thanks again. Without you I'd probably end up posting on the AV Frorums. Has anybody ever posted on there? I tried it and got banned after a day. Some people are so uptight.

I'd also like to preempt Dave Russell telling me that I'm not as funny as I used to be by saying that he's a cock x infinity, but I'd still like to thank him.

[tans]

[sonicyouth]

you're welcome

[Reg Smeeton]

 Think nothing of it...

[adje]

Spacey-you are as funny as you used to be.

[Batch]

This is the best post ever. It reminded me to put the bins out before the Mrs nagged. Thanks.

[Mexicano Rojo]

its worn not warn you unfunny twat.

[Simon Pieman]

its worn not warn you unfunny twat.

Not if you read it in a West Country dialect.

[spacey]

Special thanks to KOT for pointing out my foolish spelling error. His cruel words are like a dagger through my cold black heart, but in time I will recover and I will be stronger.

[DMR]

You're not as funny as you used to be. Oh...

[spacey]

On cold nights, Mrs spacey and I like to sit by the fire and look back at happy memories. Mrs spacey's favourite story is of the day that she met a young lad called Dave Russell. "He's so kind with such good manners" she laughs. If she was to find out about his sickening transformation I fear it would break her heart in two and cause her happy bright eyes to fade to black.

Fortunately she doesn't read the forum anymore cos she thinks you're a bunch of wankers. Phew!

[Simon Pieman]

Mrs Spacey was never happy. False nostalgia.

[Simon Pieman]

Oh I get it, you were being sarcastic. It's probably a good job she doesn't read the forum anymore.

[DMR]

I'm actually still a bit in love with Mrs Spacey, I suspect this is the route of Spacey's frankly irrational dislike of the new and improved DMR

[spacey]

I don't dislike you, Dave. To reach that conclusion you would have to assume that I take the forum seriously. Such an assumption saddens me greatly. I've always liked you, Dave. You remind me of a humourless, unfashionable me. You've learned from me, but gone bad, a bit like in the film Kung Fu Panda.

I can quite honestly say that I don't dislike anybody on here. I'd quite happily sit and have a drink with anyone on the condition that they were paying and I didn't have to talk to them. It's also worth noting that very few people are anything like their forum persona. When I first came across Fred's posts, I thought this guy comes across like a teenager trapped in a 45 year old man's body. When I actually met him it turned out that......okay, bad example.

The King of Tonga might refer to me in this thread as an unfunny twat, but I know in real life he thinks I'm great. He actually uses some of my jokes to help him get girls.

Quick impression. KOT preparing for a night out.

"spacey jokes.........Check! Handkerchief.......Check! Chloroform......Check!

As for Si Pie or as he's referred to in my house 'He whose name must not be spoken' it's certainly good news for you that she no longer reads the forum. "He's quoting from texts books without having any understanding of what he has just read. I couldn't sit by and let that happen could I?.......Could I?!.....Could I!!!!!!!!" Is what she might say if she was remotely interested. Now run! I can hear her approaching.