leefer
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« on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 10:08:34 » |
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Wake up at 5am look in the mirror,eyes like piss holes in the snow,into the back garden..or cat city,sinister looking moggy with a big grin as if to say ime going to sit on my big fat furry ass all day while you drive your lorry to oblivion..at least he sun was shining as i headed to Wessex packaging in Yeovil,across Salisbury plain..whats happened to Amesbury..Solice Industrial Park complete with KFC and Somerfield and a big upside down mosquito scupture..good old fashioned Wiltshire culture..bang next door to the stinking portaloos...not very Stonehengy is it..get to Yeovil at 8,you can use the shitter drive says man from Mlbourne Port,nice..are you from Pilton i enquire hoping to get a response...never been to Bristol in my life he says..give me ten drive. After using said latrine i come face to face with Olive Oil who works in the office..thats the ladys you used she utters with a hint of disgust and embarasement...she comes out two mins later looking green and scowling..Pilton man unloads me and tells me with a grin how hes been trying to get Olive on the end of his cocktail stick the past 13 years...corrr ide fukin luv ter he says,get your paperwork from the office drive and ime met by Olive,hope youve washed your hands i say trying to raise a laugh...her eyes are mennacing as she says...sign here please..if you can write that is driver,i laugh and sign with an X Up to Clevedon now and Wares Print..an old traditional firm..so traditional the founder who is 93 makes the ladies ware dresses on his weekly visit to the office..no trousers on ladys in my days..not very pc but he pays the wages i spose..after a quick cup of sludge from the vending machine ime off to Nottingham...a 3 hour drive made easier listening to Macy Gray and Steriophonics...followed by Aggers and test match special. I get to Seriifs print in Wilford Nottingham and ring the goods in bell...a young chap answers who had very very bad acne...it was like Moley Moley Moley in Austen Powers..i was drawn to his unfortuanate face..i tried to avoid eye contact but ended up talking to the door..forklift is broke he says in a broad deep notts accent that dosnt seem to fit his appearance..so twenty mins later sweating after unloading it all on my tail lift i ask the youth what the cafe across the road is like..never had the fryup he says,but the pizza is lush!!..i give it amiss...ive only got 3 hours driving time left..or its a night out,Nottingham is very oldie..including the road out past Ratcliffe Power Station..very busy but i make it back to Swindon..about 10 mins over my alloted time..oh well..Yeovil,Clevedon Nottingham and back to earn my Friday crust, and as i walk through the back gate.i see that cat...grinning like fuck it was.
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Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia
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« Reply #1 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 10:30:20 » |
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Good work Leefer....notes from a small island.
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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« Reply #2 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 10:30:46 » |
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i <3 leefer
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Things get better but they never get good
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Reg Smeeton
Walking Encyclopaedia
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« Reply #3 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 11:14:20 » |
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Pilton Man is obviously discerning never having been to Bristhole in his life.
I like the road from Ratcliffe Power Station into Nottingham through Clifton, it follows the Trent Valley which I guess has kept it free of over development...I once walked from the city centre out along along a network of old canals and a few railway lines, to get to Gotham...I was hoping to find the cuckoo mound of legend, reckoning that it must have some mystic significance.
The Gothamites, were a bit similar to the Moonrakers, in that they feigned stupidity for their own purpose...in this case, they'd heard King John wanted to come and set up court in the village. Not wanting to support the unpopular monarch, they feigned stupidity, by standing around a bush on a mound....when asked what they were doing, they replied, they liked the sound of the cuckoo so much, that they wanted to keep it in the bush all year round.
It is thought that Gotham and its stories is the origin of Batman's city.
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oxford_fan
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« Reply #4 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 12:17:41 » |
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A great little read, I mean that.
With a lot of editing you could make your stories into a slightly dull book leefer.
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Fred Elliot
I REST MY FUCKING CASE
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« Reply #5 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 12:38:59 » |
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I've missed you Leefer
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #6 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 13:24:11 » |
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I am going to plagarise (sp?) Leefers posts and publish them under my name to get rich.
Mwahahahaha
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michael
The Dude Abides
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« Reply #7 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 15:29:00 » |
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Very good. Enjoyed reading that.
I nominate Leefer as the Town End forum's very own Charles Bukowski-type character.
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oxford_fan
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« Reply #8 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 19:26:56 » |
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Nowhere near enough sex, alcohol and general depravity for that (yet).
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chalkies_shorts
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« Reply #9 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 19:35:12 » |
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Leefer, your Friday sounds a hell of a lot better than mine which comprised being a desk jockey arguing with IT. Carry on updating us on your lorry adventures - good reading.
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charlottehead
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« Reply #10 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 19:37:17 » |
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i thought all lorry drivers murdered prostitutes
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BANGKOK RED
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« Reply #11 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 19:44:40 » |
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I like the way the cat was still sat there grinning on his return.
Does that moggy have a name Leefer?
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ronnie21
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The Mighty Hankerton
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« Reply #12 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 20:51:21 » |
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I like the way the cat was still sat there grinning on his return.
Does that moggy have a name Leefer?
Fred
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leefer
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« Reply #13 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 21:06:39 » |
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i thought all lorry drivers murdered prostitutes
Only in Ipswich...the cats name is Charlie Bangkok.
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ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
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« Reply #14 on: Saturday, May 9, 2009, 21:20:49 » |
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Nowhere near enough sex, alcohol and general depravity for that (yet).
I nearly made the same comment, but I can see stylistic similarities.
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
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