Friday joke

[jim]

One day God calls down to Noah and says, 'Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark'.

Noah replies, 'No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the guv...

But God interrupts, 'Ah, but there's a catch', this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other'.

'20 DECKS!', screams Noah. 'Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?'

'Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right .. . this time I want you to fill it up with fish', God answers.

'Fish?', queries Noah.

'Yep, fish, well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling Carp!'

Noah looks to the skies. 'OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, You want a New Ark?'

'Check'.

'With 20 decks, one on top of the other?'.

'Check'.

'And you want it full of Carp?'.

'Check'

'Why?' asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether..........


 

 

 

 

 

(keep going - it's worth waiting for........)

 

 

 

 

 

'Dunno', says God, 'I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark''.
 

[DMR]

Goodness me jim....



(tbh I did smirk slightly which is quite impressive given the mood I'm in... and to think you told me uni was the way forward... cunting seminar work!)

[jim]

Goodness me jim....



(tbh I did smirk slightly which is quite impressive given the mood I'm in... and to think you told me uni was the way forward... cunting seminar work!)

Knuckle down, son!  It's worth it in the end

[DMR]

Point taken boss.... right now I'm off down Yates for the the footy though

[jim]

Here's another for your delectation and delight.

After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: "British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, "The Kerryman," a southwest Irish newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in peat bog near Tralee, Paidraig O'Dell, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paidraig has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."

[Chubbs]

Here's another for your delectation and delight.

After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: "British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, "The Kerryman," a southwest Irish newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in peat bog near Tralee, Paidraig O'Dell, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paidraig has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."

shud have left it with the first one

[leefer]

A man goes to the Docs and says i think im starting to go deaf
What are the symptons asks the doc
A fat man called Homer and a lady with blue hair replies the man.

[sonic youth]

have you heard about the japanese bank that's folded?






it was the bank of origami.

what about the japanese bank that's had to cutback it's branches?




it was the bank of bansai


i'll get my coat. and a shotgun.

[Nemo]

Apparently Shares in the Kamikaze Bank nosedived. Ninja Bank are still in the black though.

[axs]

have you heard about the japanese bank that's folded?






it was the bank of origami.

what about the japanese bank that's had to cutback it's branches?




it was the bank of bansai


i'll get my coat. and a shotgun.

shouldn't that be bonsai?

[Ironside]

Here's another for your delectation and delight.

After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: "British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, "The Kerryman," a southwest Irish newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in peat bog near Tralee, Paidraig O'Dell, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paidraig has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."

This bit doesn't make any sense whatsoever. You do know that Scotland is part of Britain and therefore, also part of the UK?

[jim]

This bit doesn't make any sense whatsoever. You do know that Scotland is part of Britain and therefore, also part of the UK?

Lets keep our national identities high on the agenda, eh, Ironside?

Could be an American joke - you know how parochial they are.

[Ironside]

Lets keep our national identities high on the agenda, eh, Ironside?

Could be an American joke - you know how parochial they are.

Never let the facts get the way eh Jim?

I suppose it could have been American, it wasn't funny...

[jim]

Never let the facts get the way eh Jim?

I suppose it could have been American, it wasn't funny...

Humourless twonk.  You're first point makes no sense and isn't even a completed sentence - back to Janet and John, I would say.  Concentrate on the basics.

[Don Rogers Shop]

Stab him