Why do you have JFW's t shirt?
It was a long, dark night...the moon full in the sky. As we walked along the canal, counting the shopping trollies, a strange metallic sound was heard before us. Slowly, through the mist, Bob Monkhouse appeared. 'Good evening, I'm Bob Monkhouse' he said, somewhat needlessly as we recognised him as the second host of Family Fortunes in a trice. 'Hi, Bob', jfw responded, 'tell us a joke.' Bob responded that people only ever ask comedians to perfom when they meet them. No-one, he accertained, has ever been introduced to a gynaecologist and asked them to 'have a look at the wife.' So Bob refused. Jfw just
He then noticed that as the night the was drawing in the temperature was dropping. Although jfw was suitably attired below the waist for the cooling evening, above the waist she was only wearing her Town t-shirt. I, on the other hand had a rather natty black coat on, but not top on underneath on account of an incident earlier in the evening involving Les Dennis and a tray of annoyed eels. Bob, being the sharp minded man we know and remember, suggested we swapped jfw's t-shirt for my coat. Naturally, Bob realised that jfw would need a top under the coat, so with a click of his fingers he summoned Max Bygreaves...removed Max's shirt and gave it jfw. Bob pointed out to Max, that as he'd taken his show in the early eighties he would now take the shirt from his back. Max grunted, two doves flew off in the distance and slowly Max walked in to the canal disappearing from view. To this day I cannot tell you if Max walked into or on the water, for it was too dark. At this piont jfw simply commented that the canal was ming. It was the last thing she ever said to me.
This is why I have jfw's t-shirt, and she has my coat, but more importantly Max Bygreaves' shirt.
Alternatively, I my have been referring to my own t-shirt of same design...who can really say.
